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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that if you don't want to hear my opinion, then don't ask for it.

29 replies

Morgause · 03/11/2013 16:29

My friend and neighbour has just left in something of a huff. Sad

She's going to be a grandmother and is very excited. Her DD and SiL came round this afternoon and they have finally decided on a name. It's a bit "out there" to say the least and neighbour is upset because she hates it and thinks it's daft. Although she didn't say anything to them, obviously.

I made consoling noises and said she'd probably get used to it and there's plenty of time for them to change their minds etc. She kept asking what I thought about it and I diverted a few times, saying it wasn't up to me. She pressed and pressed until I said it wasn't a name I'd choose.

Instant huff! Off she goes all cross and bristling.

We'll be fine tomorrow because that's what she's like but I really think she or anyone else shouldn't ask for an opinion if they may not like the answer. Confused

DH said I should have just lied and maybe he's right.

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 03/11/2013 16:46

I wouldn't lie either. She asked and she got an answer.

Why are you friends with such a huffy person?

tracypenisbeaker · 03/11/2013 16:49

Eh? So she doesn't like it, and when pressed you also said you didn't like it, then she got pissed off?

Madness!

TheArticFunky · 03/11/2013 16:49

So she wanted you to like the name even though she doesn't? How odd.

TheArticFunky · 03/11/2013 16:50

Can you share the name?

tracypenisbeaker · 03/11/2013 16:50

The only thing YABU about is telling her that 'there is plenty of time to change their minds...' why should they? It's their child.

MurderOfGoths · 03/11/2013 16:51

Had a friend like that, would ask my opinion, be given it, then he'd strop and say stuff like, "If I wanted your opinion I'd ask for it!". Luckily the conversation was usually done via text, so I'd just forward him his previous message where he did ask.

Some people are just daft unfortunately.

Trills · 03/11/2013 16:52

I am also confused that she was upset when you agreed with her...

phantomnamechanger · 03/11/2013 16:52

I don't get it, was she hoping you would persuade her the name was really "cool" and "in" - or was she secretly sounding you out over a name SHE was suggesting for the LO? Otherwise why the huff that you agreed with her?

phantomnamechanger · 03/11/2013 16:53

Oh, and we need to know the name to make informed judgement, obviously Wink

OHforDUCKScake · 03/11/2013 16:56

I need to know the name.

An absolute must.

Grin
Iamsparklyknickers · 03/11/2013 17:04

Name the Name! Wink

Cards completely on the table, I give and hope to receive blunt answers when directly asked - much prefer it to sensing an "omfg". BUT I have also been in a position where I've surprised myself at the the strength of my own reaction to hearing something actually said to me by someone else.

It's a weird one certainly, I think you tend to fool yourself that you can predict how a conversation might play out and your friend might have shocked herself by hearing a reflection of how she was thinking about her own DD.

Sleep on it and see how she is tomorrow.

Original poster
Morgause · 03/11/2013 17:05

tracypenisbeaker I didn't express myself very well I meant there was plenty of time for them to change their minds not that she should try to persuade them to.

I do think she was hoping that I'd like it but we've known each other a long time and the likelihood of that was around zero and she should really have known that. She doesn't like it, that's why she's huffed, she's a bit dramatic but lots of fun so we get over these little emotional moments. It's happened before.

I'd rather not say the name because I'd probably offend some people and names are very personal. It's a bit "American" - surname as first name which I don't really like.

OP posts:
HarryTheHungryHippo · 03/11/2013 17:36

Hunter, Regan? Come on tell us op

Original poster
Morgause · 03/11/2013 17:52

Trent

OP posts:
tracypenisbeaker · 03/11/2013 17:55

Nine Inch Nails fans?

Original poster
Morgause · 03/11/2013 17:58

Hadn't thought of that. I don't think so. All I can think of is the river.

OP posts:
Iamsparklyknickers · 03/11/2013 18:06

For me I start thinking of that 'delicate' song, was it Terence Trent Derby?

It's not something I'd choose personally, but like with a lot of names you start to associate it with the baby and the person they become once they're there.

SconeRhymesWithGone · 03/11/2013 18:10

Trent Lott? US Republican politician. Probably not. Smile

TheArticFunky · 03/11/2013 21:15

Must be Hudson in that case. I don't mind it, it wouldn't be my choice but it's not a bad name.

aquashiv · 03/11/2013 23:16

I have heard worse.
Why did she get the hump with you if she didn't like it either that's crazier than calling a baby Trent

Toadinthehole · 04/11/2013 03:42

You could nickname him Piddle.

Or Ouse.

MrsMook · 04/11/2013 05:38

Shame it's not twin girls, they could be Mississippi and Mississouri.

YANBU

poppycock6 · 04/11/2013 06:29

Maybe she's not upset with you. Perhaps it's just that you confirmed her fears that it's not a good name?

Original poster
Morgause · 04/11/2013 06:34

I think you're right poppycock

OP posts:
digerd · 04/11/2013 07:17

She doesn't sound much fun to me. She was rude and offensive after going on and on at you to answer her which you already had.