...to find it rude and annoying when visiting children on playdates beg and wheedle for extra time?

[parakeet]

When their parents turn up all I hear is "NO, I don't want to go home" or "Can I have five more minutes?". Which I know from experience would turn into another five minutes and another. And all the parents do is simper at them ineffectually from the front door (while letting all the warm air out).

I have started taking matters into my own hands and hustling the children out the door myself, handing them their coats, shoes etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming my children are paragons of virtue, but there is no way I would stand for this performance.

All DCs do this, you factor it into the time given.

As the collecting parent you remember to go in trainers.

DDs' friends house has a vertical garden. They instantly worked out that, low centre of gravity, small people can run down steep slopes far faster the old creaky adults.

I have the shoes, coat, anything extra ready by the door. When the parent arrives they come in & I call to say time to go. I find having the shoes etc ready makes it easier to be in the mood to go home for the guest.

I always invite the collecting parent in; but got burned once when they stayed two fucking hours after a three hour play date...
Some parents are worse than the kids.

OP - I hear you, and YANBU.

I give 20 minute warning and 5 minute warning. I make sure all their belongings are placed beside the door. DD1 is 11, this works with her friends (mostly). DD2 is 9, her friends are more likely than not to push it and look for more time. It really does require the playdate mom and the child's mom to insist that its time to go NOW. (BTW - I have no problem with 5 mins extra, it is the 5+5+5+5+5+5+5... that some kids push for that bugs me.)

Flogging - also had a parent staying 2 hours after playdate! But I enjoyed her company, and contributed to the conversation(s) that had her stay so long. I'd fed my family and her DC, she still had to make dinner when she went home...

I stayed 2hours after a playdate once, but the other mum kept refilling my wine glass, and whenever I said, "gosh we've been here ages, should go soon" said "oh the kids are ok" or " as long as the girls are in bed by 8.30"
Now I'm (even more than I was before) paranoid that she was desperate for me to leave, but too polite to say so.

It isnt rude, the child has enjoyed their time and doesnt want it to end, thats what kids do!

I tend to give a GBBO type count down "You have twenty minutes unti mum is here so dont start any long games" "You have ten minutes until mum is here so lets start tidying up" ....... "You have five minutes until mum is here, lets get your shoes on".... and so on.
But annoying? No, not at all.

Sounds like you were actively invited, imnot, totally different.
This one hung around like a bad smell despite me explaining, in an increasingly direct fashion that I had to get dd to Brownies in 20 minutes so it was time to go.

The little bugger kept running off to hide while she shrugged her shoulders and changed the topic of conversation, continuing even after I hauled her child out from under the bed and opened the front door.
She let go of him again and the nonsense continued. Meanwhile dh arrived in from work, was dispatched with dd to Brownies and came back to find them still in the house.
Strangely enough, after a stern word from him ostensibly to the child, but not really they were gone in five minutes.

I've now got play rules - if you leave a mess or don't do as your told you don't come back. My kids explain this to their friends.

Some of the other parents have now copied me.

I'm a mean mummy right enough... :)