AIBU and a bit sensitive ... school mums

[kikibrooke2593]

I am 21 years old and have 2 children, 7 and 2 yrs old.
my ds goes to the local catholic school. he has 3 best friends at school and they love doing things with each other at the weekends. the 3 other boys go out with the boys mums in alternative weeks and even a sleep over.
but i cant help feel he gets left out, a few weeks ago the boys come running over excited asking if they could sleep over lets say bobs house, and the mum said no sleep over this weekend, fair enough. but then on the Monday my lil boy found out they did have a sleep over.

my sons bday was recently and he wanted to invite them all out for the day with us and then for dinner at ours .. all 3 declined.

am I reading in to it too much to probably think there is an issue with me. the other mums r from a diff lifestyle too .. I don't know if this has anything to do with it.

What different life style are the other mothers from?

Ouch. :(

I know how you feel OP.

We've moved so my dc are all at different schools now, but DS1 (almost 9) was supposed 'best friends' with a boy in his class from nursery through to the end of Y3. Except that this boy's Mum was good mates with the Mum of another boy in their year group, so inevitably their sons did everything together, after school and at weekends. The two boys didn't actually like each other all that much or get on particularly well, but the friendship was forced due to the Mum's friendship. The Mums fell out just before the summer and no longer speak - the two boys have no other friends to fall back on because they've been pushed together (and other kids rarely involved) for 5 years.

Not the same as your situation though. I wouldn't take it to heart, honestly. Your DS is 7 and will make new friends/bin off friends as he goes through school. Some of my DS's 'friends' turned into 'really annoying' people according to DS. DS2 (5) has a different best friend every week. DD (almost 12) has just started secondary school in a totally new county! She knew no one, but has had two or three 'close' friends over this half term alone.

Kids chop and change. See if there's anyone else your DS would like to invite for tea/play one night. I know how you must feel about his birthday though.

Thats a bit mean. Do you think its an age thing?

Maybe the other Mums are all friends and they feel a bit uncomfortable because they don't know you as well?

Have you ever invited the Mums out for a coffee?

Aw, that is horrible. Do you have a surestart centre near you? They have great mum and tot groups. Or any other mum and baby groups. There may be mums there who are nicer and they may have older children who you can develop your older DSs social life around. Maybe get him in to clubs, such as cubs or martial arts. Rugby is a good sport to get him in to too, as there is a massive social life involved in most rugby clubs.

The other mums are clearly being mean and judgy because you are so young. Horrible women!

Best what, Funky?

Funky.

My ex comes from a Catholic family and they're great people. Generous, funny, warm and loving.

Sounds like these women are just bitches - they may not even BE Catholic, you can get into Catholic school without being a Catholic, y'know.

funkyfucker.

I try to talk to the mums in the playground invite them places . always discuss the children.

they r fairly older than me lol between 32 and 37.
they also are all a bit wealthier than me too ... well quite a bit actually haha
I just feel like im letting my son down x

we live in diff parts of town too ( major difference )

I'm an ex-Catholic for many reasons! ducks for cover

I can't say for sure, but I would imagine the other mums are judging you because of your age. It's a difficult one as you want your children to be happy and have friends, but I would be inclined to give these women a wide berth tbh. You will always encounter narrow minded people like this wherever you go, but the flip side is you will always find nice people too.

I would widen your horizons a bit and find some other mums to socialise with.

I'm struggling to see why the Catholic bit is relevant tbh.

I've taught in two Catholic Schools and the only difference to other schools up here is that they sometimes hold a mass and tend to have a prayer at registration. Plus the (infrequent) assemblies would have an act of worship.

see I am scared to ask them just in case I cause problems lol ( im a quiet girl ) lol

can I ask a question without being offensive just curious, if you owned your own home etc lived in a nice area would you be worried about letting your child around an estate to stay or play x

Kiki, it would depend on what sort of people were around on the estate tbh. Are many children out playing? If I thought there might be a lot of serious lowlife, I would try to engineer a visit too, to see what it was like.

This sucks. Don't feel for a moment this is your fault. Why not ask ds if he has another little friend?

I wouldn't and lots of people on mumsnet wouldn't. But some people would - even if they probably wouldn't admit that was the reason.

tbh our estate although in London is a pretty good estate never any trouble x we live in an area that is half n half .

children play out all the time but tbh my ds doesn't play out on his own yet lol so I wouldn't let the other boys either x

If they were going to play indoors, no problem.
If playing out with other children away from traffic etc, no problem.

There are some places I wouldn't let my children play out, parts of the nearest city to us are quite scary. I have been followed around there by random men even at midday, and wouldn't let my kids go there.

And I'm also struggling to see how the Catholic school reference is relevant.