To think that staff should stop this girl using the gym?

[MrBloomsMarrow]

I really don't know if I'm BU or not which is why I'm posting. I joined a gym a few months and go around 2 or 3 times a week. I usually stay for around an hour. There's a girl who's always there whenever I go - she's there when I get there and still there when I leave. She's really young - definitely no older than 20.
She's always on the same treadmill and has the setting to maximum resistance ie it's like going up a really steep hill.
The thing is, she's obviously severely anorexic. I'm a mental health nurse and worked in an eating disorder clinic for 2 years so I do know a bit about it.
A normal BMI is 20-25. 17.5 and below is anorexic, 15 and below is considered dangerously underweight and below 13 is critical - this is the point where sectioning someone would be considered. I'd say that she's definitely in the dangerous category, if not the critical. When I worked in the clinic, there were definitely patients who weren't as underweight as she is. She wears vest tops and you can literally see all her bones jutting out.
I absolutely don't mean that they should stop her going as some sort of "punishment", I have nothing but sympathy as she's desperately ill but I feel that, by allowing her to attend all the time and exercise in the way she does, it's kind of colluding with her thinking that she doesn't have a problem. I know she can go and exercise anywhere but I don't think she could do it in quite such an obsessional way outside of a gym. It's a bit like a landlord refusing to serve someone who's really drunk - of course they can go and get pissed somewhere else but it's still the right thing to do.
Also, I think it's actually dangerous to exercise that much when your body is so fragile and I' always worried that she's just going to collapse.
I've been thinking about having a quiet word to one of the staff or should I just keep my nose out?

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Maybe she isn't anorexic, maybe she is unwell? Could you strike up a conversation with her, general stuff, try and make friends? i don't think you should have her stopped from using the gym, it could be a life-line for her

She is alarmingly thin to my eyes

Cue lots of negative comments on the physical appearance of elite athletes.

Social facilitation explains a lot...

Ilsa Paulson has muscle mass though- look at her shoulders. OP is describing someone without that, I think.

Ilsa Paulson has or has had an eating disorder too, lots of athletes manage them through their sport or use their sport as a screen, I was a bit shocked at how many runners have anorexia given that it's not an aesthetic requirement and there isn't a sort of ideal to strive for (not like gymnastics for example)

but nobody here knows anything about this woman at the gym, if she has an eating disorder, some other illness, or is in recovery and doing quite well at maintaining her weight

Op - people on mumsnet at the moment are far more interested in nitpicking an argument than anything else.

I think you could mention you are a HCP and you could casually flag it to staff at the gym - it may be that they already know about her and are monitoring the situation, or it could be that staff just see it as someone else's problem.

But I do think a good point was made further up the thread that with winter closing in, this is at least a safe place for her to exercise, with folk watching, able to call emergency services in case something serious happens.

The bottom line is that OP doesn't know the girl has an eating disorder. I'm sure the gym staff are aware of the girl if she is a regular.
As an aside, a mate of mine has Crohns. He has always been severely underweight, and has had a fair portion of his bowel and intestines removed. He has to eat at least 7500 calories per day to maintain his weight, if he loses any more he will be hositalised again. He looks anorexic. He goes to the gym to try increase muscle mass and improve his general fitness, but I'm sure if you didn't know him you'd assume it was a mental, rather than physical, health problem.

This is why I said are you SURE she is anorexic. If you are then I agree to say something. But there are other reasons for looking very thin.I agree Ilsa is very thin, but she has a lot of muscle in her legs and shoulders. If she's a very naturally slight build then this is what will happen when she trains for athletic sports.
Better to be safe than sorry , I feel on one hand but also-anorexics have their triggers,and not being allowed to go to a gym to exercise may result in her illness becoming worse, if she is indeed anorexic.

People really are projecting their experiences of being thin onto this situation. No one has said the person in question should be banned from the gym, just that a friendly word might help.

Satisfied While you are indeed significantly underweight, it would not concern me as much as it would as seeing a person with a much, much lower weight exercising that vociferously. Being a BMI of under 15 alone is a huge risk factor, let alone someone exercising like mad.

I think you should have a word with the staff - but they might not feel qualified to deal with it. This girl will most likely keep exercising whether at this gym, another gym or at home, but she needs some help - she probably doesn't even know she's ill. I've had anorexia for years (not any more) and it took the threat of sectioning before I realised something was not right with me and food/exercise. Do raise your concerns, and hopefully something good will come out of it. It won't make it worse, that's for sure!

Satisfied - I don't think anyone is suggesting you should be banned from your gym!!
OP is suggesting giving the gym staff the opportunity to help and support a person who in her medical opinion my be anorexic and need it. If someone at your gym asked you to provide a drs certificate that you were fit enough to exercise you would be able to provide it so wouldn't have to stop using it. It is reasonable to asked the same as they may ask for an overweight person. Talk about protecting!!

So melt me get this straight, nobody should show concern for anyone unless they know for certain there is a problem and what the cause is?

Well I'm sorry, that's absolute crap!

It's better to raise a question than to do nothing until you know for sure. I'm sure people who report child abuse don't always know for sure and how many people knew there was an issue with Jimmy Saville yet didn't report because they know for sure.

I'm sure a gym will have come across similar situations many times before and raising the issue with staff isn't akin to suggesting she be banned so I'm wondering how the fuck people are making that leap?

If it were me, I'd say something and be glad I had. If it turned out that girl did have an issue and died and the OP had had concerns and find nothing she'd be feeling guilty as hell for having stood by and ignored her instincts. If she raises it and there is another explanation then alls well and good and no harm done.

Erm.. the title of the thread wondered whether the staff should stop the girl using the gym - so it's not such a massive leap.

OP
I do think you have been given an unecessarily hard time on this thread.

What people don't seem to realise is that you are not talking about someone who you perceive to have a BMI of 17; you are talking about someone with a BMI of much much lower. Somone with a BMI of 14 or lower is not skinny, they are not even catwalk supermodel skinny.They are famine victim skinny. There is a world of difference.

Like you I am a mental health professional and I would certainly have a word with the gym staff. They may well do absolutely nothing about it but at least you will have raised the issue

But then having a word with the staff doesn't mean they'll actually go that, probably won't in fact, but to not say anything...I couldn't have that on my conscience.

Yes, it's a badly worded OP but the OP has admitted to that and it's only natural to fear the worst but hope for the best, at least it is for me.

I remember when I first joined a gym to lose weight, staff spoke to me about decreasing the amount of time I spent there but upping the intensity if my workout so it's not just slim people that are looking out for. A good gym will be monitoring clients to ensure they are using the gym as effectively as possible to meet their goals. That's simply good customer service isn't it?

My preference would be for the OP to try and befriend this young woman and find out more about her. Perhaps then make a decision on either offering information about support available or speaking to the staff.

But then I am coming from the position of having been that young woman rather than a professional.

Wow, there are some really unnecessarily harsh posts here towards the OP. I don't think she's trying to be mean towards this girl. Fair enough some of her earlier comments were a bit over the top, but she's explained and apologised for those so no need to go on about them. I think the OP comes across as being concerned about this girl and was looking for some advice.

This girl may be anorexic. She might not be. She may have another illness that's causing her extreme thinness but then again she might not. How is the OP to know? IMO it's only natural to be concerned about her.

OP, have you spoken to this girl? Personally I would try to befriend her and maybe then make a decision whether to alert the staff? Even if you don't want to talk to her or feel like it would be too much right now then I don't see anything wrong with bringing your concerns up with the staff.

To be fair, I don't think the OP's thread title helps her come across as particularly helpful. She wants staff at the gym to intervene on her behalf and stop this girl from using the gym. That gives the impression that the very sight of her offends her. I'm sure that's not the case, and the OP is actually very caring, but from the way she writes she does come across as quite judgmental and not open to individual differences.

You can't just assume skinny means anorexic.

Of course you can't. That's why I said she might not be anorexic. We have no way of knowing either way.

I used to be very skinny when I was younger and a lot of people thought I had an eating disorder. The thing is, I would often eat a lot more than these people who thought I was anorexic. Even now, I'm still thin (well not right now because I'm eight months pregnant) but now I'm more of a petite in proportion thin than I was before iyswim but that still doesn't stop some people assuming I must be anorexic. It doesn't happen anywhere near as much as it used to though. So I know how annoying it is when people assume you have an eating disorder when you don't.

The thread title says 'staff should stop this girl using the gym' how is that so different from banning someone

Tbh, I'm not sure they should stop her using the gym. If she is anorexic then she will probably just find another gym or exercise elsewhere. It's possible that the staff allow her to stay so if something happens there will plenty of other people around to help. If something was to happen to her if she was exercising on her own, the consequences could be disastrous.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the OP voicing her concerns to the staff. I get the impression that she is really concerned about her.

That gives the impression that the very sight of her offends her. I'm sure that's not the case, and the OP is actually very caring, but from the way she writes she does come across as quite judgmental and not open to individual differences.

I'm sure that's not the case either. Probably badly worded that's all.