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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to do the food shop all in one place? (Light hearted)

27 replies

Jolleigh · 02/11/2013 12:50

So, it's time for the weekly shop again. And right on schedule, the OH has 'casually' mentioned that I should go to Aldi before I finish the shop elsewhere. (All very sensible, admittedly).

I'm happy to split the shop between 2 places if I have company, but he doesn't want to come (as usual) and has the legitimate argument that it comes under my remit where the running of the house is concerned. But the cooking is also my remit, so surely I should get to pick where the food comes from?

Splitting the shop between Aldi and either Tesco or Asda is undoubtedly cheaper. But I'm pregnant (about half way through) with my first and suffering from SPD so don't like to be on my feet too long. Also, we're lucky enough to have a comfortable joint income with which we don't need to choose between whether to get stuff for the baby vs shopping at Tesco.

So, what are people's thoughts? AIBU to continue shopping where I like up until we can no longer afford to do so? Or would you double your shopping time in order to save a bit of cash, at cost to the rest of the day due to the back pain that would flatten you?

OP posts:

HeadsDownThumbsUp · 02/11/2013 12:53

Can you do the shop at Aldi and order the remaining products online from Tesco?

That would cut down on time, but still allow you to make the savings that come with splitting the shop across competitors. Delivery is not that expensive if you can be flexible about when it arrives. Or your DP can pick up the pre-ordered shop since he is so keen on splitting the shopping between two places.

Lottiedoubtie · 02/11/2013 12:59

Sorry why does it come under your remit? Does he not eat?

CecilyP · 02/11/2013 13:00

If he is so keen, tell him to do the shopping himself. If you were on a really tight budget, I could see some sense in it - otherwise no, YANBU. We have a large Co-op, Lidl and Aldi all within 5 minutes of each other and all on my way home from work and I have only been to Lidl and Aldi once each (and Aldi only because I had seen something I was really after in their leaflet). Life really is too short to mess about with that kind of nonsense.

Oldraver · 02/11/2013 13:05

I would tell them that if he isnt willing to get his arse out the door he doesn't get to dictate to you where you shop

sashh · 02/11/2013 13:14

Go to mysupermarket.com - you can split the shopping and have it delivered.

Timeforabiscuit · 02/11/2013 13:14

Your doing the leg work so you make the call.

If your dh is that fussed then he can do it.

It sounds like a "we should clean the oven comment" which actually means. I want you to clean the oven because I can't be arsed/it's out of my comfort zone/I don't know how

sausageandorangepickle · 02/11/2013 13:19

Moneywise it is a great idea - we do most of our shopping at Aldi and the rest at Sainsburys, but they are next door to each other so it hardly takes any extra time or effort.

Can't you go to one each? Or you go to Aldi now and let him get the rest of the stuff at Tesco later, or the other way round….

Perhaps you should get him to do it all - he will need to practise for when the baby arrives

SoleSorceress · 02/11/2013 13:40

Get a take away.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 02/11/2013 13:43

Why is it your remit? Especially when pregnant with spd! You shouldn't be pushing a shopping trolley around at all.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/11/2013 13:43

Nobody is management in our house, we are all workers. He doesn't get to tell you where to shop, he can do the bits from one supermarket and you can do the other.

madmomma · 02/11/2013 13:46

leave the bastard
Or just do an internet shop after you've sent him to aldi.
SPD means that everything is his remit IMHO

Original poster

Jolleigh · 02/11/2013 13:46

@ lottie - it works out roughly even if he does the bulk of the cleaning, I do the bulk of the cooking, dog chores are shared.

To people talking about online shop (sorry, I'm on my phone) - we both prefer it if the shopping is done in person where possible, but where my back is particularly bad, I do shop online. Asda's service in my area is horrendous and after using them twice and getting roughly 50% substitutions, I gave up. Tesco are great, but I find I'm more sensible gauging how much I'm buying by being able to see it in the basket.

OP posts:

fuzzpig · 02/11/2013 13:48

If I had more time, energy and crucially a car, then I possibly would shop around more. But I don't. So I order it all from tesco (two smaller deliveries a week).

We frequently try down branding to save money, always think carefully about special offers etc.

I'm sure we could save more money if we went to various places, particularly with yellow sticker items by going at particular times, but it would not be worth it because I'd use up more time/energy! So we are quite happily trundling along with the status quo.

And I totally agree if you are the one doing the shopping you get to decide how you go about it!

ringaringarosy · 02/11/2013 13:51

my dh works full time and does all the shopping and cooking,i do about 90 per cent of the housework and the childcare,when he is here childcare is obviously 50/50.

Personally i couldnt be bothered doing it in 2 places,id rather spend the extra and have the convenience,when i was in charge of the food i did it online on ocado and got everything in once place,now dh does it he goes to a farm shop and does the rest at morrisons,i think the person who is in charge of doing the shopping and cooking should chose where they do it.

fuzzpig · 02/11/2013 13:52

I see why you want to shop in person, I'm assuming it's mainly to do with wanting to choose your own fresh veg/fruit/meat rather than somebody choosing for you?

If you are willing to do some shopping online (and I agree asda are shit, that is why we switched to tesco and they are really good) how about organising it so you get all the non perishables - freezer stuff, cereal, milk, tinned whatever, rice, pasta etc, laundry stuff, nappies when the time comes - delivered online, and then doing a proper 'real' shop just for fresh stuff? That would be easier on your body too.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 02/11/2013 13:53

Thing is, you are ill. You have SPD. household Jobs are no longer 50/50. They won't be 50/50 when you have a newborn either so he might as well her used to the idea now and take on more of the domestic stuff so you can rest.

If you push yourself too far you will make the SPD worse.

fieldfare · 02/11/2013 13:56

If money isn't tight then do which ever is easiest for you!

I'm just about to do my monthly shop and will be doing most of it in Aldi but the rest online with sainsbury's.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 02/11/2013 14:00

I agree that you should do it wherever you like BTW.

I spent the last few months of this pregnancy (also had SPD) ordering from ocado/going to waitrose because it was easiest for me!

Yama · 02/11/2013 14:04

Op, as you are carrying a child you are doing more than your remit at the moment aren't you?

We shop together, all four of us. The trick in life is to enjoy the mundane. For us, that means shopping together.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 02/11/2013 14:05

Do not ever order from Asda. They are notorious for missing whole deliveries, nevermind the substitutes being funny. One winter they didn't deliver 2 separate orders to me in the day.

AnnoyingOrange · 02/11/2013 14:14

We do a lidl shop every few weeks and stock up. Then we do a weekly shop online with one of the other supermarkets

There's no need to do two supermarkets in quick succession on the same day

HeadsDownThumbsUp · 02/11/2013 14:19

I want to apologise for my post. I shouldn't have posted suggesting internet shopping. Like other posters, my first response should have been that your partner should not be "sending" you out to do the shopping at all if you are struggling! Let alone tell you where to shop!

Fuck that shit.

gamerchick · 02/11/2013 14:24

Tell him you'll do that if he comes with you and does the lugging.

Otherwise he needs to button it.

I go all over to shop but the husband comes,pays, carrys and drives. I choose and budget. He wouldn't dream of dictating and expecting me to do it on my own.

MrsOsbourne · 02/11/2013 14:25

You are in pain and he wont help with the shopping because its your remit
I would be more worried about my DH being an arsehole than whether to shop in 2 places. < baffled>

GhostsInSnow · 02/11/2013 14:49

DH went through a phase of 'market shopping'. Every weekend he'd drag me into town where he'd buy all the meat, fruit and veg from the markets and local butchers etc. Personally, I had better things to do on a Saturday morning than spend 2 hours trooping around the local town. Thankfully he soon got fed up with that.

Occasionally he'd decide we can shop at Aldi. I'd always end up in the Tesco next door buying all the things I simply can't get from Aldi.

I used to go to Tesco myself every week because frankly taking him with me cost me twice as much, I'd get to the till and find biscuits, cakes etc I'd not put in. I have a problem with my joints though and found that as I'm getting older my wrists really hurt pushing the trolly round so I announced my purchase of a 12 month Ocado delivery pass and happily shop from the sofa now.

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