To be upset about how many times I seem to be hearing about this

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2483851/Izzy-Dixs-mother-gives-heart-rending-interview.html

Firstly I know it's the Daily Mail, but there is no "typical" Daily Mail behaviour about this article. It's truly heartbreaking.

It seems to me that I am hearing more and more about young teenagers taking their own lives and harming theirselves than ever before. I don't understand why schools aren't doing more about situations where children are so obviously being bullied in such awful and daily occurrences.

I had the most awful and terrible time at school as a child and teenager. Hugely traumatised, and relentlessly bullied by almost all of the boys in my year and other years too from primary 4 until I left after 6th year. That's 9 years. (few girls for some reason, they tended to just ignore me) I only managed to cope because I could switch off to it, I had no choice, but I guess it was the only advantage about how young it all started for me, as it just became the norm. I never had any support from teachers and was very often made out to be the cause of the issue because every so often I would blow up, but I had no other output and I hid pretty much everything from my parents because I was terrified of them being ashamed of me. Anyway because I switched off I fucked most of my exams which DID disappoint my parents in the end, so epic fail on my half. All I can say is I am SO relived that there was no social media or mobile phones back then because I feel that this no doubt adds to the trauma of how many of today's teenagers live with bullying.

Anyway everything's fine for me now and life is great. Although I am alright, it still stays with me to the point that when I read about how frequently this seems to come up in the news I find it so devastating. Why such a young and vibrant person with so much to give can feel so low to the point where they take their own life is so utterly heartbreaking. I left school more than 20 years ago and yet it seems that things are getting worse instead of better. We are all aware of bullying and how awful it is, but are schools really doing more to try and combat it? I realise teenagers will be teenagers but as a mother now to 3 young children these stories along with my own experience absolutely terrify me more than I can say.

AIBU to feel so deeply disturbed by this?

I think that there are a few things going on to make you feel so disturbed by this.

Firstly the teen suicide rate hasn't risen by much ( I know any amount is too much). The response that some have to the big changes that the Teen years bring has always been hard to deal with and research shows that it isn't always influenced by outside factors. Your body and brain goes through massive changes, akin to toddlerhood and the Menopause, that are difficult to deal with because of the emotional response and then added pressure and environmental factors.

I have three DD's, my youngest is nearly 16. I wish every Teen, especially Teen girls could see themselves as they really are and the potential that they have.

I think that hearing about bullying is bringing up feelings from your own childhood that you haven't come to terms with, this is called Restimulation in therapy.

When you consider what bullying does, there must be a period and process of recovery needed, or the victim experiences, emotions similar to Post Tramatic Stress, or the feelings that victims of DV have ( to put it simply).

Have you read around recovery, or do you feel that you need to, perhaps?

Just to add, I completely agree that MH services for Teens is way under-invested in and unfortunately the Charities that support Teens have all suffered in the cuts and recession.

Your feelings are never unreasonable. They are your feelings.

But it really isn't any worse than it's ever been. We had two suicides in my class in high school and I graduated 25 years ago.

Yes, there is more awareness of bullying, but not all suicides have to do with bullying. One of the girls in my class who killed herself was very popular, wasn't bullied or anything, so far as anyone knew. The other did have MH problems that came to light afterwards.

I had a horrible time in high school. Lord knows how I'm still here, except for loads of therapy and tons of meds that I still take.

My mother was a bad mother in many ways, but the one things she did do was listen to me. Always.

It does seem like there are more stories like this although in reality the figure is largely the same. I think the difference is the Internet bullying thing which as a mother of two young daughters terrifies me. I think in the past we made stupid drunken mistakes and were teased about it for a few days but now the evidence of photos on mobile phones can be around forever and posted for the world to see. I'm thinking of the slanegirl case and lots of others.
I read the article about this case and my heart just goes out to her Mother. I know it doesn't make any difference and losing a child is beyond comprehension for any parent, she was the single parent of an only child. That child was her whole life. So so sad.

It is sad, as is losing any child in such, or similar circumstances, but partial recovery is possible.

I think Mothers like Denise Bulger and Doreen Lawrance are inspiration for others to find a way to heal.

There are bullying charities to get involved in.

It is good that every story is in the news, it makes us all take notice and realise what a hard time Childhood can be, for some.