to think women should STOP asking others if they are pregnant

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The potential to offend is massive!

I was in a shop yesterday eve with DH at the start of a rare night out (just the two of us) when the woman behind the counter said to me "So when are you due?" I frostily replied "I'm not". The woman was clearly mortified and apologised, saying it had also happened to her.

Then she should know what it bloody feels like then shouldn't she! Why do people do this? For me to ask someone that question, the woman I'm asking would have to have a stomach the size of a large football and be clearly at least 7 or 8 months pregnant.

I had my last child over 6 yrs ago and am now a size 10 (was size 8 before having kids). I have struggled to shift baby weight around girth even though I run once or twice a week. The number of times I have been asked whether I'm preggers over the last 6 years has probably now tipped over into double figures. Despite this even DH said last night that the dress I was wearing didn't make me look pregnant at all (and he is always brutally honest). I know some styles do make women look pregnant when not. I wear clothes that fit but am now wondering if I should buy a bigger size or will that make me look more "pregnant"?

It could have ruined our special night but I didn't let it. Am feeling slightly peeved this morning though!

Why don't people think before they open their mouth?!? Rant over.

I've done this . I was thoroughly mortified and apologetic, but the woman was lovely and said "I'm flattered you think I'm young enough to still have children!"

In my defence, I have never asked anybody if/when they are planning to have children.

This happened to me last week . Someone at a work event whom I'd never mey before asked me when ibwas due.

I have very recently suffered a miscarriage and been comforting eating and gained some weight (which I'm now trying to shift). It ruined my day, it took all my strength not to cry, in fact it ruined my week.

Still ttc so felt like a double punch in the guts. I know I carry weight around my middle and feel self conscious enough as it is. Please don't ask people this unless they have referred to their pregnancy first, it is so rude!

If someone offers you a seat, sit down!

Just after handing my notice at my last job a senior (male) member of staff asked me if I was really leaving or just going on maternity.
I explained I was having a bit of a carear change, he promptly snorted and said carear change to a stay at home mum!
I was not pregnant my DD was 5!

Waggamamma, I really understand how upsetting that is. I have had three miscarriages. After the first I went back to work about 2 weeks later.I was walking down a corridor at work, holding some files in front of my belly, and a colleague called out from about 20 metres away,"You're not having another baby are you?" ( I'd just come back after three years maternity leave). I was so glad he was so far away, so he couldn't see my tears. I just called out,"No". It just made me feel so sad, as I would have loved to be calling out, "Yes!"

I have been asked twice before that if I was pregnant when I wasn't. I wish people would just think before they spoke. Especially complete strangers (I was asked by a sales assistant - was so taken aback I quickly calculated 6 months away in my head and made up a due date, I wish I'd told her to mind her own flippin business). My DH's stupid uncle also asked the same question when my baby was a year old. I still had a mummy tummy (clearly), and it was the first time I'd met the man, why oh why would he ask if we hadn't announced it to the family???

I never, ever ask. I might wonder it in my head, but I never ask.

I’ve had this - also asked (in new job) are you having another when I said I had a 6 year old and when I said something non committal I got "well you better get on with it" - I wanted to say "I am trying but 2 mc's have made it tricky person I just met yesterday"

Rather sweetly when I told my mum I was pregnant (all those years ago) she did say "I wondered if you were trying but didn't like to ask"

I've had this happen to me in the past. Once loudly in a shop queue when I was with my mother. This old woman kept on and on even though we'd both told her I very definitely was NOT pregnant. It is very rude. I'm now 8 months pregnant and last week was walking up some steps in town when some obnoxious old man made a point of shouting "Come on love. You're like an old woman trying to get up there!" I ignored. He then followed up with "Well, you're not pregnant are you?". So I said "Actually I am. 8 months in fact and it's a good job aswell otherwise you could have really offended me". His response? "Eight months? You shouldn't be out. Disgusting". Can't win!

On the flip side there have been a lot of threads on MN from posters who use public transport to get to work and who have to stand. I wonder if the seated passengers are afraid of upsetting these posters by assuming they might be pregnant?

A colleague at work is heavily pregnant. I suspected months ago that she might be, but I didn't dare ask (because of all the threads I read on here).

The cleaner at work asked me if was pg. I said no as nicely as I could thinking she'd be mortified. Her response? "Well, you look pg to me!"

She has now taken to telling me off for how much coffee I drink - "is not healthy, I think, for you"

YANBU

I'm beginning to think that this question shouldn't be asked even if the woman is clearly pregnant. I am clearly pregnant and was asked when I was due by a total stranger last night. When I told her the answer, she cast a horrified look at my bump and exclaimed "February?! Goodness me!"

I'm getting comments like this every couple of days now and I'm getting tired of laughing them off when inside I'm worried about having another large baby and the pros and cons of an elcs. I'm sure this also happens to women with smaller looking bumps and might add to worries they're having too.

Under most circumstances, it's rude to comment on a person's size. I wish it applied in pregnancy.

icant this is what is happening to me now, I am sick and tired of people commenting on my enormous bump. especially ironic - our absolutely obese secretary at work keeps banging on about 'are you sure its not twins' yet it would clearly be unacceptable for me to comment on her size

A friend asked me (by text) while I was miscarrying and got a fairly terse response.

A few months later she asked again. I looked her straight in the eye and asked if she remembered what happened last time she asked that. "Yeah," she said, "so I thought you might be trying again."

I told her it was none of her business. I was absolutely fuming and 12+3. She learned my news a lot later than she otherwise would because of that rude question.

I sometimes have to approach pregnant strangers as part of a voluntary role I've held for a few years. It's really nerve-wracking but I've not been wrong yet. I do only approach the "if she isn't, she's smuggling a basketball" women though.

I've ignored a friend's eight month bump in the past - my rule is NEVER mention until they bring it up.
I am still a bit plump from DD1 (3.5 yo - just had DD2 4 weeks ago!) and I've had it a few times. I'm fairly confident but it was a bit embarrassing, especially as I had a traumatic first birth and then potential problems conceiving (luckily unfounded).
YANBU.

I've done it once. Don't know what got into me as usually very careful. Mortified and will NEVER do it again. Poor woman, you cannot make situation right once said, just bury yourself deeper.

A nursery mum (whom i didnt even knwo very well) asked me at a pick up if I was expecting. this was a couple of weeks after I had had a mc .

I tend to respond with "and you must only have a week or two left!"

Yanbu. I was recently forced to admit I'm pregnant at a party. I really wanted to wait a few more weeks before we announced but everyone wouldn't stop harping on about me not drinking, thinking it's hilairious to force it out of us.

So not fair. If you suspect then just keep your trap shut until the person wants to announce it!

It can sometimes seem rude not to mention it if it seems obvious but I hold back. I still wonder if the hair dresser who did my wedding day hair was pregnant (I only met her that day) but I thought that was definitely not the time to get it wrong.

Happened to me this week. I wore a really nice pencil skirt to work. Shirt tucked in. Looked super smart for once. Have been feeling a bit bloated. Skirt excentuated bloated ness. Someone asked when I was due. They were mortified. I have relegated skirt to back of wardrobe.

Also hate being asked when I'm having a baby. Yes I'm newly (2years) married. Yes we want kids at some point. Yes all my friends are having them. No this does not give you the right to ask when it will happen.

Pencil skirts are very unforgiving unless you have a completely flat stomach aren't they.

Can I add saying oh you still look pregnant to this. DS was 4 weeks old of course I still looked pregnant!

My rule is if I don't know I won't ask.
I don't understand why anyone would ask a complete stranger. It has nothing to do with them!

I hate this, its a) mortifying if you are not or b) nosey if you are and not at the stage of telling people other than close family.

A very good friend of mine was asked this, about a week after being told she'd never be able to carry her own baby by a mutual friend of ours - mutual friend still ponders when she is likely to have one (recently married etc) but it's not my place to tell her as it's not a widely known fact

YANBU! Why do people think other people's reproductive systems are up for debate?!