Am I taken advantage of?

[Linguine]

I have to have a rant and ask if I'm being taken advantage of? I work part-time, have an amazing nanny that I share with 2 other families/neighbours for school pick up. Then she has two other families she cares for. However other friends seem to want a share of this nanny (she's not mine to share). Will she look after their kids - I get asked during half term. I've booked her to sit my child various evenings, but they can't find their own sitter, so would my nanny mind going to theirs to sit their children and I take my child to their house? I just feel that they are trying to muscle in on a share of what I've got. Why can't they find their own child care? Am I being unreasonable?

Just say no.

If you are paying for her time then I don't see why they should get a share, unless they pay part of your fee, or pay her extra

[ disclaimer - I know nothing about nannies ]

ha ha, YADNBU. And to ask to have your DC minded in THEIR house. Cheeky fuckers!

Thank you. Thought I was being unreasonable. Fed up with organising other things for them and then them asking to share childminding as they can't be bothered to find their own! Going to say NO

YANBU. From 3 months until I think around 13 we had 3 nannies, originally just us and latterly a share with one other family. It's pretty outrageous of your friends to expect they can take advantage of her too.

As for the evening baby sitting, this is a joint call for you and her, if she's happy with it andthey take their children to your house ( if you're ok with that) and they pay her in addition to what you're paying.

Yanbu. They are cheeky. You should say no upfront.

YANBU. It's cheeky and it's not fair on the nanny either. Just tell them that it's not the conditions you agreed with the nanny.

I would only agree if they paid the nanny extra for the sitting duties and that's up to the nanny really rather than you.

Why don't you tell them that you have the nanny booked at x time at your own house and they are welcome to bring the children round and split the cost (assuming the nanny is ok with looking after more children)? No inconvenience to you and a reduced cost. Or do you prefer the nanny to give your children one on one attention? If so, just tell them that your nanny will only look after max (x) children so its not possible.
If you always say yes to requests from friends then they will push their luck and ask for more and more! I think that will lead to you bring taken advantage of (they will assume you don't mind), so just tell them it's inconvenient.

YANBU at all. I imagine your nanny might not be too pleased to be passed from pillar to post, just pop along to x's house will you....

Get them to sort their own care out. Explain she's not yours to share around.

Even if you did agree to share an evening babysitting why should your kids be disturbed to go to her house?!?!

As a nanny I would not be happy with this and Id probably be pissed off with my boss for making me do all these "favours"

They're taking the piss. If it were any other sort of employee/assistant, they wouldn't dream of doing this (I hope, unless they're monumentally entitled) - I don't have a nanny but I have a (shared) PA, researcher and trainee at work. None of my friends would dream of asking to borrow any of them to go over to their offices to do a bit of admin - I wonder if they see your nanny as not really doing "proper" work, because they think that anyone can do a bit of babysitting.

If your nanny wants to add your friends as employers, and you and the current sharers are OK with that, fair enough. If your friends are wanting to piggyback, no so fair.