to feel really weird about DP's gay friend fancying him....

[lola88]

... because he flirts with him when i'm there and it's just really weird like just because your a man doesn't make it ok for you to fawn over my partner infront of me. He's told DP he's his dream man and if he ever leaves me there will always be a space in his bed for DP

DP see's it as no harm because DP is straight but it's just the same to me as some woman was doing it. For me it's a disrespect thing he came in tonight as asked me to move seat so he could sit next to DP as he's missed him we are in our house with just the 3 of us with the tv on so not like it's a pub setting so they could chat. He's a hair dresser and I said I needed my hair done because it's boring atm which it never usually is and he said it's because i'm a mum i'm boring [hmmm] and maybe thats just who I am now.

I think DP secretly likes the attention.

AIBU?

YANBU. Your DP's friend is a passive-aggressive jerk. If you and your husband were a gay male couple, and DP's friend was still making these kind of comments to both of you, it would still be totally out of line. He's making passes at your DP in front of you, and he's making disrespectful, cutting remarks to you because you're in the way. The fact that DP isn't interested is irrelevant to his friend's jerky behaviour.

I have a delightful gay BIL and neither he nor his partner behave anything remotely like this. They're not perfect people, but they're not jerks. This guy's a complete jerk.

Incidentally, if your DP refuses to rein in his behaviour to you, have you thought about suggesting that the two of them go out, rather than hanging out at your house? He's clearly DP's friend rather than yours.

"If you keep after DH's ring you're gonna get one of mine in the mouth".

Just to lower the tone.

YANBU. Its never appropriate to flirt with someone who is attached.

Taking the fact that he's a gay man out of the equation for a moment, it's absolutely NOT ok for someone else to flirt so outrageously with your partner in front of you whilst saying such denigrating and nasty things about your lifestyle/appearance.

His gender and sexual orientation are irrelevant and YWNBU to tell him to back off and have some respect for you and your relationship with his friend.

He is being a prick, and I think your dh is as well.

He shouldn't "love the attention" if he were a she would he think it was OK? I wouldn't feel comfortable being friends with someone who came on to me all the time, I would think it was creepy and lechy and not funny.