WIBU to walk home alone last night?

[TedMoseby]

I had this conversation with a friend today. She was horrified that I would "take the risk" of walking home alone at midnight. It was a 5 minute walk, along a main (and well-lit) road, with plenty of students around as it was halloween! Obviously if it had been a longer walk, I would have called a taxi!

Her argument was that girls should never walk anywhere alone, "just in case". She never leaves her house after dark and managed to go through a whole degree without going out in the (fabulous and safe) city that we live in once.

I refuse to live my life in fear of what might happen. I understand that girls alone can be vulnerable, and always try to weigh up the risks of walking alone. I live with female friends so if I didn't go out unless accompanied by a man, I wouldn't leave the house!

So, WIBU? This friend has no underlying anxiety issues, by the way.

quesdilla I am suspecting you are fortunate enough never to have been attacked by a stranger on their way home?

That is a shit, I repeat a shit comment to hear for those of us who have been.

It is not pathetic to be afraid ,for some people.

Sorry quesadilla I didn't mean to bark so (or misspell your name) .

VerySmall it's not pathetic to feel as you do at all. I hope you can see that if you hadn't had your experience then you should have been allowed to enjoy freedom to walk around without being made to feel afraid

That's crappily worded. You should be free to feel unafraid now regardless of your experience. Everyone should and the fact you are not is a reflection on the bastard who attacked

Of course,I absolutely agree that women should reclaim the night,and be unafraid and that the more that do it the better TiredDog

And I do,but in certain situations I struggle.Over 25 years later I'm still working on it (and getting there as I will reclaim my bit of the night.)

But I think it is unhelpful to make women feel bad if they are scared.That's all.

YANBU. I have often walked through london, over a mile, in order to get the train home, at night. I am sensible (i.e. if I see someone with a knife as I once did, I back up and hail the next cab along), but to live life in fear of what might happen is a terrible way to have to live.

I have been sexually assaulted twice. Once was by a colleague and once in a club by a twat who wouldn't take no for an answer. Bad stuff does happen, but the chances of being attacked by a random are small.

I used to walk back from my work to home at 1 in the morning in 80s new York.
Never felt so safe. It was all well lit and people were always around.

Actually I walked home alone the other night (was going to get a taxi but ran out of cash)

When I was about half-way home I found myself on the same road as a weird guy (nobody else on the deserted road, quiet residential suburb)

He was alone and talking loudly (to himself? on a handsfree?) about having just got out of prison. Which was a little unnerving. Fortunately I kept well back and he went one way, and I went the other...

So, I don't know if YABU. The chances of getting attacked by a stranger are small, but unfortunately it does happen.

I am actually fine walking around town/city late at night alone.
There are people around (unless you're in a particularly isolated spot).

When I was jumped I was in an isolated place.No one around.

And I had actually thought to myself in my mind that I was perfectly okay and nothing would happen.

But it's true women shouldn't be afraid of going anywhere alone for the thought of what might happen. I just struggle with certain situations because of what did happen - and it was rare,and I was unlucky.

The more of us that walk at night,the safer it becomes.

Jengnr I don't understand your comment. WHat risks that who is taking?
ANd incidentally, I do not have a partner or brother and my dad is 92. Does this mean I should lock myself in the house for the foreseeable future?

The trump card of 'victim blaming' won't do you much good if you do get attacked tbh.

I have never had a bad experience at night and that's because i have never walked on anywhere on my own after dark! I live in a very naice village with zero crime but it doesn't stop me shitting myself if i have to go out and lock the car (on my driveway ffs), any time after 8pm. I even panic walking to my car at the supermarket, in fact if i think someone is a bit shifty 75% of the population i'll panic during the day too.
I've always known i was a wimp, however seeing this thread has made me realise maybe i need to have a word with my GP

As someone who did walk home alone in the dark one night, was dragged off the street by a stranger in a car, forced into the boot of said car, then taken out at an isolated spot and raped, I'd ask why would you?

I was really fortunate - the police found me through sheer chance. The girl he'd raped and murdered before me wasn't quite so lucky.

I remember having the same blaze attitude as many of those commenting seem to. I really wish I hadn't. It's easy to say that it's a small chance, but you just don't know who is around at any given time.

I've had a bad experience but it's never put me off because I refuse to let myself become scared of going about my business because of some dickheads.

When I was 15/16 I walked past my school (you could cut past it to get to my friends) and there was a man having a wee against a wall. I thought ewww but carried on walking. The prick stopped pissing, let his pants fall to his knees and did like this little dance around me, walking around in a circle. I'll never forget his horrible flacid penis and dirty white boxers.

Obviously I know much much worse could happen, but at that time I was bit and slightly scared. I carried on walking the same way every day because I refused to let him ruin it for me.

I lived in a quiet rural small town and I always walked home alone between from youth club and disco's as a 14-16 y, then I walked with my DSIS when she was 'old enough' to drink (our local pubs had a flexible view of 18).

Consequently I never worried about taking the late bus home at Uni. even though the looney on the bus certainly does exist (Jasper Carrot was right there).

I've been single most of my adult life. I've also spent some of it with not a lot of cash to spare. If I wasn't prepared to walk home alone most times I've been out, I'd have even less of a social life than I do have and have had. Even at university, I only got walked home a couple of times. I guess everyone else thought I'd cope with it, too. Or they didn't care. Who knows?

sorry my post crossed with mcfox

Thanks comedycentral. It really changes your live doesn't it - it doesn't seem worth putting yourself in danger to me now. I know what you mean about seeing it in the media, there's a sense of relief for others.

McFox - that's terrible. And comedycentral

I've walked home at stupid o'clock several times - in wiltshire, in London, in Surrey. I've had a few scares; followed home, that sort of thing. But I wouldn't let it affect my life. (But I've never had a 'real' problem)

I think the statistics are that males are more likely to be victims of violence than females.

I have no fear walking home at night in the city where i live but i wouldn't walk alone at night in my hometown, the streets are too quiet.

i was once followed down a busy street in broad daylight by a guy who was clearly looking to pinch my bag. I did the old stop and look in shop window trick a few times to check i wasn't just being paranoid. So bad things can happen in daylight too but nobody should live in fear, just use common sense and keep to well lit areas.

Does it work though, the media stuff? Or do most people think it won't happen to them?

Most people think stranger rape won't happen to them and they're right. They're much more likely to be attacked by someone they know. I am so sorry about your experience.

Weeantwee, so are you suggesting that comedycentral and I weren't using common sense? The point is that even if you do, what can happen is entirely out with your control. I was walking in a well lit area, surrounded by houses filled with people. That didn't help me.

I appreciate that the chances of this happening aren't high, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone - the safer the better in my mind.