This is about the in laws who are in their early 70's so not really old by any means. They used to run their own company, very successfully, still have their wits about them, certainly not heading for dementia or anything.
MIL rang just now to tell me that DD had left her oyster card at their house yesterday, she sounded really anxious, stressing that DD would need it for school on Monday. I said not to worry it's only Friday, I'll pop in tomorrow or DH would at some point during the weekend.
She starts screeching in the background to FIL saying he must take it over to our house immediately. FIL starts getting stressed saying he has an appointment with the doctor at 5pm and wouldn't be able to do that today, it's a 20 minute drive to ours!
I interrupt saying again, not to worry, there's plenty of time to get it and even if DD didn't have it by Monday she could walk as it's her fault she left it there. School is less than 2 miles away, it's not going to kill her.
More screeching and stress down the phone with a 3 way conversation going on.
Why do so many older people get like this, when does it start, how do we prevent the same happening to us. Is it that they don't have enough going on now that kids have left home and they're retired so every issue becomes magnified.
It really is such a trivial thing and there have been many instances like this and some friends say similar about their parents/in laws.
AIBU?
Why do the older generation get so uptight about trivial stuff, and will we end up like that?
sandyballs · 01/11/2013 13:06
Claig, that is such a nice interpretation. I think it says quite a lot about you, to be honest. 
One thing I do notice about all the retired people I know, is that minor tasks can take up the whole day. Like, my mum might say, "Oh, I've just realised I can't have the plumber round that day because I have to go the post office." The idea of doing two things in one day 
She also won't drive any route she doesn't know really really well...and it is always the long way round to avoid any major roads or roundabouts. She has been driving for 40 years.
EX-MIL panics about going anywhere on here own-our house on the train for example, because "I always let FIL be in charge of that sort of thing. I just held his arm".
Both times she has travelled on a train alone, she has been at the station an hour before the train is due in out of sheer terror of missing the train..She is only 68!
I think maybe she has always been like that though.
oh that makes perfect sense to me claig and i might be a bit more sensitive to my parents now 
but it is exhausting sometimes but i suppose it will come to me one day
aw this thread makes me miss my pappy.
he loved a 'scenic route' which was code for 'look they're building new houses lets go peer through the windows'
he hated the thought that someone might parked in his allocated space- he nicked a traffic cone (from a building site
) and used to put in in place everytime he went anywhere.
parker my parents a re still working my mum did reduce her hours but she works over 20 odd hours a week and she is like this although i do worry when she does retire how will she cope with her day to dat life as she is in such a set routine of work housework she is an obsessive cleaner and back to work, I dont think she will know what to do with herself and I really honestly worry about her 
.
Yep this is my parents. Both mid 60's. It does drive me mad and I've taken to agreeing with them, bot telling them things or avoiding them I am going away for an easter break and had to book bigger accommodation so we can have space. They are already fretting over where to eat, weather etc... dad winds my mum up and always has tbh. He gets so wound up over the news, the government etc fair enough but equally wound up over ; women with tatoos, women smoking and drinking, traffic, people staying up late. He clearly hates me winning an argument and qill go and go! He is also always stressed over the neighbours, didnt put their bin out, curtains still drawn, got a new boyfriend etc ....they live on a cul de sac that was mainly other elderly people with the same day patterns etc....one family moved in and mum and dad said they were partying loudly until 10pm, with chilsren there etc and the other neighbours were not happy ! [Grin] other recent new neighbours include a lesbian couple...dad nearly had a heart attack !
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I think Claig's example shows the love, care and sense of responsibility, perhaps sometimes heightened by a sense of mortality. And agree with being less able (and willing! not necessarily a bad thing) to cope with stress too.
This is in contrast to my earlier conversation with my mother, going on and on and on about how "hungry" my son was because he ate all the fruitcake and chocolate in her house 
. Obviously I'm starving him was the subtext. She told me he needs more fruitcake and chocolate. They can go on and on, God, or is it just my mother 
.
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