to deal with 5 year olds namecaling/slagging off my son like this

[Mollydoggerson]

My 5 year old has a persistently snotty nose. As a result he had an adenoidectomy about 4 months ago, but it has not fully cleared up the problem. He still has a runny nose.

He is dropped to crèche in the morning at 8, a bus brings the kids to school for 8.50 and collects at 12.30. There are 2 other boys from crèche in his class, but he isn't best buds with them.

One of the boys is quite cocky and answers back etc.

My son told me today that these two boys plus another brother and sister (all in the crèche, all get the bus to school), were calling him 'snotboy'.

My son wants to have a Halloween party and wants to specifically exclude these kids.

I am quite annoyed by all of this as I think it is nasty.

My planned response:
1 Do role play with my son to prepare him with a response of 'Stop calling me names'. If they don't tell the teacher/minder that they are bullying him.

1. Talk to the crèche about this and ask them to keep an eye on them all.

3.Catch the parents of the two classmates and tell them what my son has told me, and advise them I also plan on talking to the teacher about the name calling.

1. Talk to the teacher next week, when school is back after the half term break.

Is this overkill or appropriate?

i would definitely speak to the creche and the teachers about it.

does your son keep a handkerchief/tissue in his pocket? not becasue I think it's his responsibility to not get teased, but it might help if he always has something there that he can use to wipe his nose

Yes he does, but I will keep a better eye to make sure he always, always has one, as he can get excited and forget to wipe his nose.

aww bless him, well he is only little!

Don't talk to the parents. Straight to the teachers

Yes I agree with all of the plan apart from talking to the parents. The teachers can make sure this gets put across in an appropriate way.

1. Speak to the creche.
2. Speak to the teacher.
3. Teach your child to wipe his nose.
4. Ensure he always has a tissue/hankie to wipe his nose.

Yes, I would try to nip this in the bud sharpish, OP, before this "nickname" becomes established and spreads to other children, at which time it may be a lot harder to stop.

I would speak to the teacher and the creche staff and ask them to explain to the children involved that your son has a medical condition and can't help the state of his nose. They should then make it quite clear that their treatment of your son is cruel and must stop immediately.

I would start with that and only approach the relevant parents if this doesn't work. Keep that for the next step, if needed. I think that your son's party should be kept for his friends or at least children who have not been unpleasant to him. I would not see excluding them as a sanction for the bullying - there is simply no positive reason for inviting them and it would be a bit confusing for your son to see them there.

I would beware of giving your little boy any responsibility for stopping the bullying - it is not up to him, at five, to stand up to four other children calling him names. It is up to the adults in charge of all the children to ensure good behaviour and to stop one child being picked on, as soon as this behaviour starts. I would not do any role play with him, but let the adults act to stop this.

Ok! No speaking to the parents so. Even though I secretly want to force a reaction from the ring leader(!) but yes it's probably best to just go through the teachers and the crèche.

Runningonwillpower I have already taught my child how to wipe his nose (hoikes indignation pants up (-;), but I will also reinforce that.

Just a little update for anyone who is interested. I spoke to the minder in the creche and e-mailed the manager about it. They dealt with it really well, spoke to all of the children involved individually and to their parents. I believe it has been dealt with fairly.

While it is a sensitive issue for DS to talk about, I'm hoping he will come to me again and tell me if he needs to as he knows I will act, and he wont get in trouble or there will be no further negativity once he acts.

I can't believe how stressful these situations are.

I am really glad to hear the creche is taking it seriously and handling it well. You are certainly not unreasonable to want name calling and bullying nipped in the bud. How is your ds now?

If he was that bothered by the name calling, he would keep his nose clean.No the other kids shouldn't call him snot boy, but it is pretty gross for them to have to be in close proximity to someone with tramlines down their face all the time.

he's FIVE!

Gosh, you are a charitable soul, aren't you init.

Blimey intit, you did get the part where the OP told us how old he was, didn't you?

yes 5, not a toddler!

My brother had this problem and ended up being called bogey nose all the way through infants and juniors. Long after he'd had his adenoids out and the snot had stopped. He hated it . Hope it gets sorted.
init for some it's just a bit harder! lovely attitude you have.

well it's easy to see where some of the nasty kids get their comments from isn't it

Intitgrand, 5 year olds still require a lot of help and reminders.

I have a 4 year old that never, ever has a snotty nose, but needs reminders for other issues.

My first guy actually has a medical condition! He cannot control it,he can only wipe it. If he is running or playing or in the middle of a game a short period of time can elapse between the running of the nose and the wiping it. If he needs to wipe his nose 60 times an hour, then through no fault of his own, there will be some visible discharge at some stage. That is life, Everything my eyes take in is not a vision of perfection, but I cope. Your attitude is very intolerant.

Bloody hell, my youngest is 5 and he's still pretty young in many ways. He wears pullups to bed because we're still working on night-wetting.

Obviously he should be off smoking a pipe and working by now, the lazy little git

My Ds2 had the snotty nose issue,also had his adenoids out at 4. What the pediatrician pointed out to me, after Id remarked on his nose still being snotty, (he ALWAYS had a red raw angry top lip between his nose and his lip) was well he may be 4 but he has never learned to blow his nose,has never been able to. He also told me he may never be able to properly. Ds2 is almost 20 now and still has issues blowing his nose. He did learn to deal with the snottyness quite quickly though.I get where your coming from. Luckily Ds2 never had issues from other kids just his dad