Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit sad that DD didn't miss me.

24 replies

Kasterborous · 29/10/2013 18:32

DD is nearly 20 months old. I had to go out for a couple of hours this morning leaving her with DH. He said she didn't even notice I'd gone out. When I got back all I got was hmm your home. When DH gets home from work or just been out a couple of hours she runs up to him shouting 'Daddy' and puts her arms up for a kiss and cuddle.

I know I'm being a bit stupid, and I want DD to be independent and not tied to me, just not yet.

OP posts:
TwoTearsInABucket · 29/10/2013 18:36

We left DS with parents for a weekend when he was 18 months old. When we came home he looked really scared and clung to my dad. I was gutted!
It is a bit disheartening but they are fickle creatures and she still loves you.

TwoTearsInABucket · 29/10/2013 18:36

With my parents, not just random ones!

CaptainSweatPants · 29/10/2013 18:37

Is it the first time you've left her in 20'months!!

Aw it's fine :) mine were always daddy's boy & girl

Topseyt · 29/10/2013 18:41

I had three girls. All were daddy's girls at that age. They still love and need their mum though, and as they grow they go through phases of being closer to each of you.

themaltesefalcon · 29/10/2013 19:06

Mine tends to favour whoever comes in with shopping bags.

PurplePidjOrTreatin · 29/10/2013 19:20

She's completely confident you'll be there. With other people she's not quite sure but with you there's absolutely no doubt in her mind - Mummy Always Comes Back :)

Original poster
Kasterborous · 29/10/2013 20:36

I have left her before, but only ever for a few hours.

That's a lovely way of putting it PurplePidjOrTreatin Smile

OP posts:
NotYoMomma · 29/10/2013 20:46

she is confident and content that you will return.

It was like this in our house(not 20 months mind! blimey!) until I went back to work and she goes to nursery one day a week, the smiles and excitement you get on your return are lovely

Mim78 · 29/10/2013 21:38

Just be really grateful that she is happy to let you go. I agree this means she is confident and content. In my experience, you get days when you get a big cuddle and a welcome and days when they are too busy doing something else to notice.

FredFredGeorge · 29/10/2013 22:05

YABU for not having left her for more than a few hours before, your DH deserved more time with her!

And it's good that she's independent, of course she loves you, and she knows you're reliable even if you go out, that's good!

SatinSandals · 29/10/2013 22:27

If she never gets DH for long on her own and you are always there I expect she enjoyed the novelty. You should do it more often.

Original poster
Kasterborous · 29/10/2013 22:29

She's had plenty of time with just DH, I often have a lie in at the weekend and she gets up with Daddy.

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 29/10/2013 22:34

DD is 3 and goes to nursery. When I get her from nursery I get a big, shreiky, excited, run-to-me welcome. When I go out at home and leave her with DH, I tend to get a "Mummy - look at what Daddy did" welcome with a focus on DH. DH gets a big welcome home. That's because I am part of the furniture at home. I'm the one who sets the rules and does the boring stuff. DD wants DH to do bedtime every night as she can muck about more. She tells me that she is his best friend, not mine; that she is daddy's girl, not mummy's girl. It can be a bit sad. But if she wakes in the middle of the night, it's me she cries for. That tells me that I'm not the excitement in her life, but the comfort.

SatinSandals · 29/10/2013 22:34

It isn't the same! Go out for the whole day or have an evening out.

SatinSandals · 29/10/2013 22:35

Let him do the bedtime bit when you are not in the house.

Original poster
Kasterborous · 29/10/2013 22:41

I think an evening out is in order. I've only had one out since she was born with DH. He baths her every other night when he's on days. Just me and DD in the evenings every other week when he's on nights.

Yes it is me she wants if she wakes up in the night

OP posts:
PurplePidjOrTreatin · 29/10/2013 22:44

Some people don't need hours and hours away from their dc for a rest - mine's only 11 months, but i find it nearly as stressful sending him off with daddy/my mum/mil/sil etc because i a) worry (pointlessly, they're all brilliant) and b) end up trying to to do a million household tasks when actually i should park my arse on the sofa and chill! I enjoy spending time with my little family, especially seeing his relationship with my ILs develop now he's bigger and able to play a bit with his cousins

Not that there's anything wrong with needing some time away, i just do it after bedtime which luckily is 6pm Wine

soapysam · 29/10/2013 22:44

She trusted you to come back, thats why she wasnt fussed. Its a good thing!

Kewcumber · 29/10/2013 22:44

I often have a lie in at the weekend and she gets up with Daddy

Then she is well used to you not being there. AT 20 months there is no difference to her (from rusty memory) you being in another room or out of the house. Not in the room with her is "not there".

PoppyScarer · 29/10/2013 22:47

OP, I can loan you my uber-clingy 5yo to hold your ankles and cry every time you go near the front door, if you aren't feeling the love enough? Grin

Seriously, take her.

TeenyTinyDancer · 29/10/2013 22:50

I felt the same when ds2 started playschool at 2 1/2.

Ds1 had gone at the same age...he was never 'a cryer' but i'd get the odd sad look when he went into nursery and huge smiles and hugs when I picked him up.

Ds2 raced in without a backwards glance. Every day. Then I would have to pry him out of the place kicking and screaming but I want to stay heeerrreee at home time when all the other kids were happy it was time to go home.

I used to envy the mums who had to have their toddlers peeled off them at dropping off time because I felt sad that ds2 didn't feel at all sad to leave me.

ProphetOfDoom · 29/10/2013 22:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HesterShaw · 29/10/2013 22:54

She'll soon forget/remember, whichever you want. Surely you don't WANT her to miss you and be upset! She has confidence in you.

Here's a story - when my cousin was 8 months old, her parents left her with us for a week to go skiing. She was a bit whingy and grizzly, and was poorly. My poor mum had her own three to look after - I think it was my dad who agreed to the babysitting Hmm. Anyway when my aunt and uncle got back, my cousin wouldn't even look at them. Turned away and clung to my mum. My aunt was in tears with the guilt and the hurt.

Pointless story really, but make of it what you will.

peggyundercrackers · 29/10/2013 23:05

my DDs a daddys girl too, doesn't matter what it is she always goes to her daddy. in the morning when he gets her up she clings to him like shes never going to see him again, heaven help us if he puts her down for any reason after he gets her up. Doesn't bother me in the slightest though, I think its absolutely fantastic she is close with him and they have a good relationship.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page