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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wibu? Was he? Or is it just to be expected?

83 replies

EngineeringExcellence · 29/10/2013 18:22

U took my 2 DSs and a friend each swimming today. They swam for 2+ hours and we lleft just after 5pm. Journey home is less than 10min.

As we left one of the friends asked "are we going to McDs or somewhere? No I said we're going home. "can we have something from the cafe then?" and then the vending machine.

WIBU not to offer food? It wasn't part of the invite and I was taking them to their own homes for tea. I know youre hungry when you get out of the pool but he only had 10mins to wait..

11yo

OP posts:
RooRooTaToot · 29/10/2013 20:42

YANBU

They were going straight home to tea. I'd be more worried that their parents would be narked that they've had a chocolate bar/packet of crisps/plate of chips just before their more nutritious evening meal.

I agree with the Jan49 who said that it negates one of the benefits of exercise to eat junk straight afterwards.

VoiceofRaisin · 29/10/2013 20:44

YWNBU Of course they could wait ten whole minutes for their tea! It was jolly kind of you to take them swimming. Sugary snacks are not exactly healthy food and they had access to water. If I was their DM, I would be a bit miffed if you HAD bought them sweets or a MacDonalds on their way home to tea tbh.

cory · 29/10/2013 21:28

I can understand about chittery bites if you have been swimming in the North Sea and are shivering with cold on the windy beach and with a long walk back to your house. But in a heated swimming pool, followed by a hot shower? And a car to take you home to tea in 10 minutes?

It's like all these people thinking their dc need special energy drinks for a normal game of football in the park, just because that's what athletes have in the Olympics.

Mattissy · 29/10/2013 21:29

Yanbu, they had access to the water fountain all afternoon and that's not including the amount of pool water they'd have swallowed. At 11 I was swimming at least 2 hours every day and by 12 I was swimming 4 hours a day, I'd have been enormous if I'd had a snack every time.

I thought we were supposed to be teaching our kids to "eat less, move more", not "move more so you can eat more!"

HelloBoys · 29/10/2013 22:09

I think the kid was cheeky BUT also maybe that's what his relatives/mum and dad/other friends do, so he just sees it as normal.

I think he is very used to going to McDs/the cafe etc generally and especially after sport.

frogspoon · 29/10/2013 22:32

To be fair, after 2+ hours of swimming, the child was probably quite hungry. However seeing as you were just 10 minutes from home, YANBU to not buy him food.

As others have said, most likely the child was used to normally being taken for something to eat after swimming, so was probably just a little surprised that your routine is different to theirs.

At 11 yo he should be old enough to know better, but maybe he is slightly lacking in social maturity, or his parents have brought him up that way.

homeagain · 29/10/2013 22:36

YANBU and it was quite rude of the child to pester.

funkybuddah · 30/10/2013 06:29

I always take a drink snack after swimming but imo there is an obsession with poor little darlings not ever feeling hungry due to constant stream of snacks no matter how healthy.

feeling hungry is not a bad thing so yanbu I have an 11 year old and while he would mither on, he would survive unscathed and not give it another thought.

Just to reiterate YANBU

NewtRipley · 30/10/2013 06:35

Most people I know have a snack after swimming - I'm ravenous after swimming, and the DCs I know normally are too. It's a bit of a ritual and a bit of a treat. Probably for him too.

Bit cheeky for him to ask, but I don't think it's worth getting aerated about

NewtRipley · 30/10/2013 06:41

"We always had a drink and a snack after swimming - when kids have been in the pool for 2 hours they're starving. You say money wasn't an issue, so why not buy them all a drink and some crisps or a chocolate bar. After 2 hours in the pool that's not going to touch the sides, let alone put them off their dinner.

I think you were a bit po-faced about it actually.

Without being there, it's a bit hard to know if he was rude - or 'just asking' because it's what his family does & he was starving.
Add message | Report | Message poster"

I agree with this Chipping

ballstoit · 30/10/2013 06:52

IME of 11 year old boys, you could have taken him to McDs, then to Pizza Hut and for a carvery, and he'd still have eaten dinner Grin

However, YWNBU to not feed him, and a drink might have been appreciated but wasn't essential. He WNBU to ask once, but should have accepted no the first time you said it.

bigkidsdidit · 30/10/2013 06:53

They were 10 minutes from home! This is why the majority of children we fat. They won't expire if they have to wait 10 minutes and have a normal dinner rather than chips and hot chocolate.

NewtRipley · 30/10/2013 06:56

bigkid

Of course they won't expire! I'm not saying that. I don't think the child asked for nutritional reasons .. The child asked not many 11 year old, the OP answered NO (hopefully explaining why) No biggie.

NewtRipley · 30/10/2013 06:58

Wow, my last post was nonsensical Grin

The child asked because he thought it would be nice and probably it's a routine he is familiar with, the OP said No, for her own reasons.

I'm saying that the child's not unusual

bigkidsdidit · 30/10/2013 08:16

I wasn't replying to you newt :)

fanjofarrow · 30/10/2013 08:33

It wouldn't have occurred to me to be so damn cheeky at that age, and my mum would have had something to say if she'd heard about it! Mind you, that's probably because I was raised not to demand things from friends' parents when they took me out.

cory · 30/10/2013 08:49

The child may have asked in all innocence, though I really do think 11 is rather old to be asking such a question without realising that it sounds like a request. This is something his parents should have taught him- and frankly at that age it's something he should be able to work out for himself.

The rude bit comes after he asked and the OP said no: it was the fact that he kept on pestering (but what about the cafe, the wending machine). An 11yo should know that while you may pester in your own family you just don't do it when you are out with somebody else.

Stealmysunshine · 30/10/2013 08:54

If he had been playing at your house for 2 hours and asked for a drink, would you have made him one or told him to wait until he got home?

cory · 30/10/2013 09:00

But Stealmysunshine, he did have access to a drink: there was a water fountain. It has been mentioned in several posts. He was not at any risk of dehydration.

What the OP might not have done if the boy had been playing at her house for 2 hours and was on his way home to tea would have been to have rushed him out to McDonald's on request. Which is a better analogy.

Original poster
EngineeringExcellence · 30/10/2013 12:25

No Steal but I might ask him to wait 5 min while i finished what i was doing (hanging out washing, cleaning bathroom etc) Anyway he wasn't asking for a drink. And I wouldn't feed him just before taking him home for his tea.

OP posts:
cory · 30/10/2013 12:52

If he had been on a sports outing with his school in the morning which finished with a short trip back for school for lunch, his teachers would hardly have felt obliged to rush him out to McDonald's because he couldn't wait those 10 minutes. Nor would his school lunch have been served earlier just because he was hungry after doing exercise. If the event had been after lunch he would have been expected to contain his pangs of hunger until school finished and he got home.

Stop press news: secondary school children are regularly (=5 days a week) expected to cope for more than two hours at a stretch without refreshments. Every school day involves more than two hours on either side of lunch. Even on PE days. And after schol pupils have to make their way home before they can get fed. Every single day. If this was in any way dangerous or bad for them, I expect we would have noticed before now.

somewheresomehow · 30/10/2013 15:19

imo just because a kid is hungry is doesn't mean they need to be fed there and then especially as you were only 10 mins from home, the kids were 11 so they were not going to keel over just because they were refused over priced drink and chocolate from the vending machine. He should learn a few manners.

noddingoff · 30/10/2013 15:20

oh I feel myself coming over all pedantic and repeating what my mum used to say to me when I was little and said that I was starving. "You are not starving. Children in the Ethiopian famine are starving. You are merely hungry".
Not a bad idea to be immune to the pestering and help break the "done a bit of exercise, now stuff face with crap food" habit

diddl · 30/10/2013 15:50

YANBU.

All this "instant gratification"

No wonder kids are so selfish/thoughtless!

soontobemumofthree · 30/10/2013 16:04

YANBU
I'd feel hungry after 2 hours swimming, he probably was hungry but that's good as he is going home to have his tea!! At 11 years he is a bit old to be asking that many times too, but maybe that is what they do in his house.