Did I overreact with DS stripping naked?

[whethergirl]

DS (age 8, year 4) had a friend over today (same age). The boys were getting a bit over excited as can be expected, and acting a bit silly at times (bit of cheek from ds), but generally ok.

Then, just as his friend's mum was coming over to pick up his friend, I walked past ds' room and he was stark naked. His friend was fully clothed and giggling, DS was prancing around like a mad man. I was quite surprised and had a bit of a go at DS and ordered him to put his clothes back on. DS is normally a bit shy and doesn't even let anyone see him naked even when undressing in the communal rooms at swimming!

I think it was my reaction that made him act a bit guilty and immediately sorry and compliant, and trying to be extra nice to me afterwards. Although it kept making me feel that he had something to hide...but I could hear they were messing about, laughing noisily, definitely nothing secretive was going on.

Was IBU and overreacting? Should I have just laughed it off? I must admit I instinctively felt quite cross about it. I asked DS why he stripped off and he kept saying 'I don't know' until eventually he said he had done it as a joke. So I told him, ok, but he can't just go flashing his privates as they're not for everyone to see, although if he is getting changed with friends (i.e.swimming) then that would be acceptable.

I now feel guilty that I've made him feel ashamed of being naked? I did say, your body is nothing to be ashamed of, but it's not for everyone to see. I was also alarmed because I thought his curtains were open (looks out to the street) but apparently they weren't. Sorry...I may be over thinking this in my PMT state of mind!

But it is not acceptable to strip off naked in the middle of having someone around to play so he needed telling off. There maybe no shame in being naked but there is times when it is inappropriate

I think that you shouldn't feel bad- as at the age of 8 he should learn that stripping and playing naked silly games isn't really the done thing! Nothing really to do with being ashamed about the naked body- more about what are acceptance games to play when your mates come round!

He'll suit the army life when he's older, they're always stripping off and acting the fool. Boys/guys do 'bond' by being complete twerps sometimes!

Don't think too much of it.

You shouldn't feel guilty about telling him off as it was appropriate for the situation. Any reason why the other boy was not also participating in this joke. Did either of them have a cell phone or took pictures?

He was just being daft.

Think no more of it.

It's normal at that age to experiment with other children parentsprotect.co.uk state that:

"School-age children (6-12 years) commonly:

Ask questions about menstruation, pregnancy and other sexual behaviour

Experiment with other children, often during games, kissing, touching, showing and role playing e.g. mums and dads or doctors and nurses

Masturbate in private"

So I think YABU and did overreact.

Ooh no. I think my DS was about 5 and he and his mate both came downstairs starkers with their underpants on their heads.

It sounds like he knows it was inappropriate, I would try and forget all about it.

OvaryAction he was not experimenting with anything just acting the idiot in front of his friend.

He was showing his friend his naked body. Which is normal experimentation for children his age.

I don't think for a second you'll make him ashamed of being naked

All you've done is have a moan about the level of silliness

For example at 8yrs old he knows better than to get naked in school/the street but I doubt that makes him ashamed of his body?

Different view point then but to me he was just being silly. And even if i accepted that it was some sort of normal experimentation it would still not be acceptable behavior. Why should the other child have to have put up with seeing the ops child prance around naked? Could have made them feel very uncomfortable hence their giggling.

This is not a case of 2 boys comparing dicks

Dont worry. My ds (7) did this recently when he had a friend round. He thought it was hilarious, and ran around giggling, and he is also normally really prudish about getting changed etc.
I just rolled my eyes and said "oi! Thats enough! Go put some clothes on" and eventually he did.
They know at that age that they shouldnt be doing it.

When I told him off he kind of looked guilty/embarassed, and I just didn't want that 'shame' to transfer to his feelings about his own body or anything.

Yes OMFGShockHorror, it seems that both of them farting every 2 minutes was part of their 'bonding'. And some boys don't grow out of that either!

I hear what you're saying OvaryAction, however, ds' friend was in my care and my responsibility. If, for example, I caught them both 'kissing, touching, showing and role playing' surely I would have to put a stop to it as I can not presume that ds' friend's mum would be happy about it. As it is, I don't know her all that well and she's quite religous. I'm wondering now if the friend goes off and says "friend took all his clothes off and danced in front of me", especially out of context, then what she might think. Maybe I should have mentioned something to her.

No CoffeeTea103, no pictures/mobile phones.

At 8 he is old enough to learn that not everyone wants to see him naked. It seems a lot of adults were never taught that lesson and find it hilariously funny to get their arse/boobs/dicks out in public for a laugh.

Btw op i think yanbu

Even if you overreacted a bit (not saying you did, just if) I'm sure it won't have done any harm in the scheme of things.

Self-medicate the PMT with whatever you fancy and don't worry about it

TBF OP, I'm not sure what I'd have done in your position.

I think that what ever was going on, it wasn't any harm to either of them and was a normal part of childhood, so nothing to worry about. I'm sure most children get up to similar but it's not the sort of thing that goes on in front of parents but in the privacy of bedrooms/playhouses etc.

I think it's one of those situations where making a huge deal out of it would be counter productive.

Thanks for the perspective everyone

What a lovely AIBU!

This is something my 8 yr old does. A bit too readily.

Luckily, I have an 11 year old who would no longer do this, and tells the 8 yr old off, telling him it is embarrassing. So I know it is a phase that shall pass. i tell him not to do it, but the other day he ran into the kitchen naked with just a spiderman mask, and a light saber, saying he was a new kind of super hero, and I am afraid I laughed.

Not a big deal OP.

8 year old boys are quite exhausting in my opinion!

my 8 yr old ds1 has a habit of running around naked too.

i would've just laughed and said for goodness sake get dressed.

I don't think you've got anything to worry about, either in his behaviour or the way you dealt with it.

But 'I don't know her all that well and she's quite religous' sounds as judgy as fuck. You don't know her, so what's the religious bit got to do with it?

AgentZigzag I didn't mean to come across as judgy or presumptious. I meant she's not one of my close friends, and I'm not particularly close to her although I've known her for a long time. She comes from a culture/religious background that I'm very familar with, and where nudity is generally frowned upon.

Yes DS has been known to streak at home when it's just me and my mum around, and I have no problems with that really. He also went through a phase as a toddler (entering soft play fully clothes, emerging naked while I had to complete the whole soft play obstacle course to pick up a trail of his clothes ) but then grew out of it, this was a bit out of the blue!