Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To ask for the nicest way to do this?

22 replies

Gryffindor · 29/10/2013 14:41

Hello everyone

DH and I moved into a new house about 6 months ago and we have decided to have a loft conversion.

I know from experience that this is a loud and long job and I am already feeling so guilty about the short term disruption the work will cause to my NDN on one side (don't feel particularly bad about the other side as they have just had their loft done, plus other loud work late into the evening).

Quiet NDN is a lady on her own who has just retired so is at home a lot to feel the full effect of loudness! I need to go and tell her we are planning the work and ask her to sign the party wall agreement when it is ready.

To avoid being unreasonable, how is the nicest way for me to ask, and what little treats can I give her to hopefully ease the burden?

OP posts:

Beccagain · 29/10/2013 14:43

Aren't you nice?

You know what, I think the fact that you show you even recognise that it's not going to be a day at the beach for her will go a LONG way to easing any irritation she might otherwise feel.

Not much help, but then I think you are firmly on the right track anyway!

AKAK81 · 29/10/2013 14:44

Invite her round for a coffee/glass of wine? Go through your plans in detail so she's fully clued up on what's going on. I can imagine most people having no issue as long as you keep them in the loop with timescales etc.

Snatchoo · 29/10/2013 14:45

Keep her in the loop and ensure her your builders won't be starting noisy stuff at silly o'clock and ending very late.

SpiderStacy · 29/10/2013 14:49

Let her know when you will be having a particularly noisy day (eg walls knocked through)

Dubjackeen · 29/10/2013 14:56

Agree with other posters. If I was in her shoes, I would like to know the timelines of the work, what time it will start and finish daily, and as others have suggested, things like when it is likely to be particularly noisy. Speaking from slightly bitter experience, I would also, if I were you, be very watchful that no damage is caused to her property, by the builders carrying out the work, and that they are very clear in terms of not trespassing on her property, in any way.

Crowler · 29/10/2013 14:57

I live between two little old ladies and during our huge renovation project (when we bought our house & gutted it) I had our guys go over and help with little projects. That will endear them to you forever, and is insignificant in the context of a loft renovation.

You sound like a nice neighbor.

WilsonFrickett · 29/10/2013 15:01

Keep her in the loop.
Let her know if she has any concerns (eg builders walking into her garden) that you will listen to them and take action.
Let her know when any particularly noisy stuff is due to happen.
Offer to have her windows cleaned when it's all over, and I think if her car is outside and likely to be covered in dust, a car valet would be a nice gesture.

iggymama · 29/10/2013 15:02

You could offer to supply her with earplugs or earphones to muffle the noise/listen to TV or radio. Also reassure her that you will clean up any mess that drifts over to her property regularly, maybe pay a window cleaner to keep her windows clean during the work. It shouldn't cost a fortune but will go a long way to keep goodwill between you.

Original poster

Gryffindor · 29/10/2013 15:05

Thanks everyone - fantastic tips here.

OP posts:

heartshape · 29/10/2013 16:35

what is a party wall agreement ? and is there a chance she wont sign it ? , like everyone else has said ,as long as you keep them up to date they should be happy .

whois · 29/10/2013 16:46

Take her a nice box of chocs or something.
Let her know timeline.
Let he know when very noisy days will be.
Give her your mobile no so she can call with questions/problems eg builders being going into her property or causing damage or leaving mess
Make sure your builders are considerate and don't leave loads of mess each day, don't go onto her property and don't damage it.

angelinajelly · 29/10/2013 17:01

All of the above. Don't let them start work before 9am (10 at weekends) or finish after 6pm. And give her the option to veto the odd day, if she's having people round or anything.

CissyMeldrum · 29/10/2013 17:11

My neighbours did this and said nothing until the drilling started ,ds1 has asd so screamed pretty much the whole time they were drilling. You sound like a kind and considerate neighbour.

CissyMeldrum · 29/10/2013 17:11

My neighbours did this and said nothing until the drilling started ,ds1 has asd so screamed pretty much the whole time they were drilling. You sound like a kind and considerate neighbour.

CissyMeldrum · 29/10/2013 17:12

Whoops sorry

elskovs · 29/10/2013 17:16

That's lovely of you. What a nice neighbour you are

summertimeandthelivingiseasy · 29/10/2013 17:21

We had lovely accommodating neighbours when we had party wall work done.

We had a survey done, with photos, in case there was a problem (there was not) of which she had a copy.

After, bought a lovely fashionable Christmas flower arrangement from the florest and really good chockies to say thank you.

It was never going to be a problem as she was really nice, but deserved as much consideration as someone who would have caused a stink. (My best ever neighbour :D )

GoEasyPudding · 29/10/2013 17:23

Tell other nearby neighbours too.

Two doors down have had work and lordy, lordy the noise! I would have liked some warning in a nice friendly note through the door.

Also don't let your builders play loud radio all day long.

You sound super nice.

pippop1 · 29/10/2013 17:23

My neighbours asked us in for a glass of wine (we don't drink) and showed us extension plans.

I was actually a little offended as it was the only time they had asked us in (lived next door for a few years) and I stupidly thought that they might be asking us in to be friendly so don't ask her in at Christmas time or she'll get the wrong idea. I felt a bit conned. We found out that the person's other neighbours had objected to their plans.

Make sure she has your mobile number as well as home phone number so if things get v bad she can call you.

Car washing is a good idea, i would have been delighted with a wash or two for free.

MummytoMog · 29/10/2013 17:39

We didn't realise that our scaffolding would cut off the signal to our neighbour's sky dish, so check that if she has one. Check whether the scaffolding will impinge on your neighbours' land on either side (ours has, we didn't realise, have ended up in massive dispute), let them know when steels are going in (LOUD AND STREET BLOCKING), take photos of their property, offer to clear their gutters, make your builders keep the place tidy (another thing that annoyed our neighbours) and make sure the scaffolders abide by the 8am to 6pm rule. Ours have turned up at various hours between 7am and 10pm to make noise. And they're rude.

GruffBillyGoat · 31/10/2013 10:07

Bake her cookies!!! Damn, I want some cookies.

Haggischucker · 31/10/2013 10:10

I would do a little hamper with some treats in it and give her all the details about the project. Maybe ask if there are any particular times /events that you need to consider for her and I would use as an opportunity to get to know her.

Flip