a question about a birthday

[ChangeyChangeyBaby]

Am I being unreasonable to invite a boy who has been mean to my toddler to my toddler's birthday party?

Ds will be 3. He's mentioned a boy in his nursery group a lot, not always in a good way.
There's been an incident which resulted in an injury (to my son) not too bad but enough to leave a cut and bruise.

Previously to this lots of stuff from my son about the boy (though he once said he was his best friend) including '[name of child] not coming to my birthday?'. Also stories from one other mum about his behaviour towards her son which I have tried to put in perspective and not wanted to get involved in other people's disputes/perceptions.

My instinct is to invite all the kids from his group, I don't want to encourage exclusion at such a young age plus I think it is important to be kind. I have encouraged my DS to tell this boy that he doesn't like it when he is mean and that it's not kind etc.

However my mum has now said that as DS is expressly saying he doesn't want the boy at his party I should listen to him and respect his feelings. The party will be held in a public place (outdoor play thing) and there will be lots of kids there who are not at his party. 50% of the time the kids will be playing on the equipment under the supervision of their parents.

What would you do?

A word of caution on parties close to Christmas - I have 2 dc with birthdays only just before, and have never had an invite turned down, I have stopped over inviting on the assumption that some are not going to be able to make it. Illness has brought numbers down at the last minute though.

I would probably invite the boy, on the basis that his parent will have to be there, but real life experience tells me 9/10 people wouldn't. I would not invite him if there was a risk a parent would not stay.

I don't think his birthday party is the place for learning about dealing with some distress though really. He should be enjoying the day and not worrying about what this other child might do.

^^this.

Hi

If its a private nursery, have a chat with his key worker. Tell her that you son keeps mentioning a certain child and is there anything to be worried about. This will give you a much better feel for the situation.