My best friend drinks to oblivion at night. She has a DS (4 yrs). She drinks until she crashes out and does not always make it to bed. I stayed with her a while ago and we had some serious discussions about her drinking, escalating to huge rows. The nice approach did not work so in the end I was blunt. I told her that she is an alcoholic IMHO. Her husband agrees. He is fantastic and would walk over broken glass for her, but he is exhausted.
He gave up everything for her to move to her home country to make her happy. However, the move home was a disaster (there was an unrelated family tragedy), she has only 2 family members and they are dealing with big problems. She has moved back to where she was at uni - but those happy days cannot be recaptured because her friends are not there. So she is lonely and sad and drinking.
When I was with her, I was able to speak to some healthcare professionals and to ask if they could help her. Since then, she has told me that she is getting help. But I have just found out that the drinking is still bad. So bad that the DS' school has complained that she smells of drink every morning and they don't tolerate this. Her DH is a good friend of mine too. We are former colleagues. He does not know about the warning from school. I am considering telling him, because if the school reports it, I do not know what would happen then... They live in a country with a very strong social system. I have to tell him, don't I?