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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not answer my door

50 replies

jessieagain · 28/10/2013 21:39

Another thread (neighbours parking problem) got me wondering.

In my flat you can't see who is at the door (no nearby windows/or peephole) so I never answer the door if someone knocks (unless I'm expecting someone and even then I call out first to ask who it is. If it is just someone knocking at a random time and I have no idea I just ignore and pretend no one is at home.

I thought this would be what most people would do. Aibu?

OP posts:

JustAnotherFucker · 29/10/2013 13:40

Oh I agree with you fully Pinkberry - unsolicited sellers or collectors really boil my piss. Especially through the day as I work at home.

But don't people have friends or family or neighbours who call round? Ever?

MaidOfStars · 29/10/2013 13:44

If I find a handbag on the street, containing a stuffed purse, a load of family photos and an address, am I allowed to keep the said handbag/contents if I have made a genuine effort to deliver the item to its owner, only to be met with a resolutely shut door?

MmmmWhiteWine · 29/10/2013 13:46

To be honest it wouldn't occur to me NOT to open the door. Seems a strange reaction to me!

stickysausages · 29/10/2013 13:52

YANBU I check if there's a car I know, or a post van, if not, I ignore.

Round here it's usually God botherers or energy salesmen.

Davsmum · 29/10/2013 13:55

Of course YANBU.
Answering the door is a choice - even if you think you know who it is.

If you have asked someone to come round then of course you should answer - any other time, do what you want!

PinkBerryGuy · 29/10/2013 13:57

MaidOfStars you could pop a note with your mobile number on it through the letter box.

JustAnotherFucker if friends or family were to come uninvited they would ring when there was no answer, neighbours wouldn't come round because we don't know them.

MaidOfStars · 29/10/2013 14:03

MaidOfStars you could pop a note with your mobile number on it through the letter box

If you aren't accepting friendly calls to return handbags, I'm not giving out my mobile number to randomers

Having thought a little, can I ask those who live in built-up urban areas how frequently you get unsolicited knocks from charity/sales/religious people? I live in a quiet cul-de-sac in a small town so perhaps am underestimating the sheer numbers you might be dealing with (although still not sure I wouldn't answer the door).

PinkBerryGuy · 29/10/2013 14:27

After living in Coventry, a fair sized city, i can tell you that on average i used to get 6 a week. Some nights i used to get 3 within the space of 5.30 - 9pm.

Now i live in a smaller town in a terraced street we get probably 3 a week ish.

LaQueenOfTheDamned · 29/10/2013 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrendelsMum · 29/10/2013 15:27

Isn't that funny? I'm really amazed / amused by how difference things obviously are for PinkBerryGuy and LaQueen - it sounds like a huge nuisance for you both.

I'd always open the door / answer the phone. I had my first ever charity collector last night (after living here 5 years). Almost always its a local friend or a neighbour, once the police who'd been alerted to something looking suspicious, and once an emergency I was able to help with. Mind you, on a sunny day most people we know wander into the back garden and start shouting my name...

MiaowTheCat · 29/10/2013 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usualsuspect · 29/10/2013 15:49

I always answer the door.

I think it's a bit weird not to.

Mim78 · 29/10/2013 15:50

I would want a peep hole so I could see if it was post - I don't like going to the sorting office!

However, I would often ignore it in the evening.

Up to you if you want to ignore it or not.

kotinka · 29/10/2013 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HexU · 29/10/2013 16:03

YANBU.

I'm waiting for a delivery today - so opened door and have been talked into having a quote done on our roof.

It all seems to be sales people or charity collectors and half they time I just can't get rid of them.

bigbluebus · 29/10/2013 16:13

I always answer the door unless I have already spotted the god botherers making their way up the street

The neighbours often knock/ring the door at random times. Only yesterday morning the doorbell went at 8.00am and I answered it even though I was still in my PJs. It was the new NDN checking if our electric had gone off or if it was just his. (we had a 2 hr power cut yesterday even though we didn't get the bad weather). I just apologised for not being dressed on account of not being able to have a shower - due to the power cut.

Unless I lived in a dodgy area, in which case I would get a door chain/viewer fitted, then I see no reason not to answer the door. I can very quickly shut it again to sale people/chuggers. And if they bother you that much then get one of those stickers for the door that asks them not to call.

Door bell just went as I was typing this - it was DS who has forgotten his key

SouthernComforts · 29/10/2013 16:24

It depends which door they knock on. Everyone that even vaguely knows us knows we use the side door Anyone knocking on the main door is usually a pita.

claretandamberforever · 29/10/2013 16:24

Does anyone remember an advert from about 25 years ago. It was animated, about not opening your front door, and putting the chain on the door? I'm sure there was a line about "is it your loving husband who has lost his key outside the front door" but then there was a cartoon of an axe murderer? God, I can remember most of the lyrics, they've just sprung back to me now reading this thread.

claretandamberforever · 29/10/2013 16:26

Flaming 'eck, my memory must be better than I thought - just googled it, and it's a 70's public information film not an advert

ukanimation.blogspot.co.uk/2011/01/70s-public-information-films-junctions.html

ouryve · 29/10/2013 16:29

If I see who is coming, I don't answer the door to anyone I'm not expecting. We get a few nuisance callers a weeks and I'd only be wasting my breath and their time telling them politely to sod off and not call me love.

claretandamberforever · 29/10/2013 16:32

I've found a you tube of it now! Although woman in the advert appears to have a massive window in her door, which our OP doesn't.

Pinupgirl · 29/10/2013 16:36

I never answer the door. We get a lot of religious groups around here and charity chuggers.

I had a charity guy around at 9pm a few weeks ago!! I was so surprised I actually did answer the door and then he commented that my face was and said didn't we get many people knocking in our street-no not at 9pm you chugger

I clearly remember my gran never answering the door when we were kids and we had to be really quiet but that was because she always owed money to the milkman,grocer,provident man etc

Trinpy · 29/10/2013 17:07

We always check through the window to see who it is first. We started doing it when we first moved in and had scary bailiffs coming round looking for the guy who lived here before us. Friends and family would never drop by without calling first and neighbours only come round if we've taken in a parcel for them. If it's after 5pm then it's always charity collectors and we have a very clear sign on our door saying we're not interested, so why should I have to open the door to tell them again?

We recently had a very determined man trying to break our front door down - so much so that he bled all over the door - and he didn't get anywhere with it so I feel much safer if I keep the door closed to strangers.

Mojavewonderer · 29/10/2013 17:10

I have a peep hole and never use it. I always answer the door unless I am on my own in the evening. My family sometimes visit unannounced but they do a certain knock so I know it's them lol

Bunraku · 30/10/2013 20:09

I don't answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone. Ill look to see who it is but I really dislike "drop ins". I look to see and If it is a parcel for a neighbour/police/postman. I will open up. Charities, salespeople, religion pushers or mil I will just leave it. I only answer familiar numbers on the house phone or I wait for the caller to leave a message and decide whether to call back or not.

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