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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how this man could not know this?

102 replies

FreakinRexManningDay · 28/10/2013 18:22

My friend and her dh popped over for lunch today. I'm not sure how the conversation evolved but we ended up talking about vat on sanpro and how it was unfair as they are fairly pricey in general,in which my friend mentioned she saw the new always infinity for nearly €5 for 9 pads. Friends dh pipes up that that's good value because its 9 months worth.
I said How and he said well you have your period,use your pad and then get rid of it,done til next time.

How has this man managed to achieve a good grade in biology and work in the medical field and think that we women just pop a pad on,have our period and then that's it?

OP posts:

Sindarella · 28/10/2013 20:25

I just asked P how many pads the average woman gets through on her period. His first answer was 300 but then corrected himself as he realized the average period is about a week. An settled on between 80-90

MyNameIsWinkly · 28/10/2013 20:27

nux most of the stuff that comes out during your period is the lining of your uterus and fluid. Despite its colour there is very little actual blood in all that gunk.

NeverBetter · 28/10/2013 20:28

I remember being told it was an egg cup full that is lost? Still seems like more to me but I'm guessing it very variable.

I remember one friend, about 25 at the time, explaining why men like golden showers. It was apparently because 'the wee went all over their penis when inside you'. We were all a bit by this until we realised she didn't know women have a separate hole for wees. How had she got to 25 thinking this? It was so funny seeing the penny drop for her though .

RandomMess · 28/10/2013 20:30

Geez I wish there was only one pads worth - LOL!!!

MarlenaGru · 28/10/2013 20:30

Another mooncup user who can vouch for it being many more cups than one. Even if the "rest" makes up more than just blood, it is all red and all needs sanitary products to soak it up.

I can really recommend a mooncup though, and washable towels.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 28/10/2013 20:34

Just phoned DH to ask and he said between 20-30.

I do get through about 20ish. Stop using the mooncup to many leaks for my liking.

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 20:36

Sinderella that is very funny!

Even if it was "only" 80-90, when would we work or sleep or eat?! :o

I was told an egg cup too, which might be technically accurate in terms of blood, but is no help at all when you are a very heavy loser as I was in my teens. I got through maxi pads (old school breeze block jobs) like stink, I barely made it through a lesson before having to change it.

And periods dont hurt according to my PE teacher, they may ache slightly but they dont hurt. Oh really Mrs Froggart? You reckon?!

As an aside, why did they give the job of teaching us about periods to the PE teachers? The teachers who had the least amount of empathy or understanding in the whole fecking school? Our male biology teacher taught us far more about and in a far more accessible way, probably due to him being married with 3 daughters, so he also advised the boys that saying "Is it your time of the month?" was likely to get their heads kicked in :o

BarbarianMum · 28/10/2013 20:39

YABU

I have a degree in Biology. In can tell you quite a lot about menstrual suppression in Naked Mole Rats, or Hyenas, or sperm competition in dragonflies but everything I know about human reproduction dates from A level (and personal experience, obviously).

Even at A level, the fact that women have periods is mentioned in passing (plus a lot of tedious stuff about which hormone does what) but trust me, they don't teach you anything about actually having one - that was down to the Tampax lady, with boys were taken elsewhere for that particular lesson.

A better question would how you could sustain adult relationships with a woman and not know this stuff, but I guess not everyone is happy sharing.

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 20:45

What happened in the boys lesson? I never did find out and the boys wouldnt tell us!

phantomnamechanger · 28/10/2013 20:51

Does not surprise me at all - DH would have no idea except that he'd know it was more than one a month and that DDs spend more time in the bathroom than they used to and he gets a hard stare if he's nagging them to hurry up.

he went to a boys school where the whole of human biology was done in about 2 weeks before their O levels, as the teacher was a physicist. his parents apparently told him zilch and I had to educate him A LOT about all that.

when I was explaining the monthly cycle & asked him how big he thought a human egg was - he said about the size of a golf ball, reader, I almost PMSL!!!!!

Passthecake30 · 28/10/2013 20:59

Ha ha, reminds me of when I first met dp, I said "not tonight, I have my period", he replied...."but you had that yesterday".....completely naive

phantomnamechanger · 28/10/2013 21:10

obviously the "once a month" bit confuses them - maybe they do think its like doing one period wee or something!

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 21:15

Oh, bit of a surprise!

Just asked and he did the predictable "Eurghh the P word" face, which is an ongoing irritant, and then said "Oh I dunno, a week so maybe 20?"

Which isnt bad actually based on Ms A. Verage, although if mine were a week then it would be closer to 60 but normal periods are usually 5 days or so arent they? Mine are usually 2-3 but v v heavy from sudden start to abrupt finish and I get through about 30.

pointyfangs · 28/10/2013 21:16

Oh, the old 'periods don't hurt' myth... They're still peddling that, you know. DD1 came home with leaflets which said that all you needed was a hot water bottle.

So I told her that she should tell me as soon as the hot water bottle wasn't cutting it, because lots of women actually need painkillers for period pain.

neverputasockinatoaster · 28/10/2013 21:21

Bogeyface - when I took the boys for 'that' lesson it involved a brief discussion on periods and then we had great fun dropping tampax into glasses of water....

One of the boys asked me why women didn't just stya in the loo for their period.. he was a bit shocked when I told him they could go on for about 5 days. He concluded it would be unreasonable to ask girls to stay in the loo that long!

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 21:22

pointy I remember that period pains were the only thing my mother was ever nice to me about! She was a fucking demon when we were growing up, it would be classed as abuse now. It was mainly down to her pain and hormone problems, she suffered for years so when I started to suffer the pain she was very understanding. She even got me the (then, this was 30 years ago) expensive paracetamol capsules that were easier to swallow.

It made a such a difference to have someone saying "I know it hurts" and helping, rather than the "oh its not that bad!" that I got at school.

Thankfully DD doesnt suffer at all, and I hope her sisters dont either.

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 21:24

Never that is enlightening. We assumed they were told about condoms, wanking or not getting girls pg. This was circa 1984 though so perhaps we were ahead of our time!

neverputasockinatoaster · 28/10/2013 21:50

This was 14 or so years ago mind....

eurochick · 28/10/2013 22:03

Ah yes, the PE teachers who claim that periods don't hurt. I still remember you, bitchfaces! I was bent double every month. And i was not made better by attempting to run round a cold rainy field. Harrumph.

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 22:09

When I was about 14 I had a monster period (as usual) and said to my PE teacher " please miss, may I be excuse showers as I am on my period?" She said yes, off I trot only to get called back.

"MISS XXXXXXX please can you ask me again to be excused from showers!" While giving death looks to the girl behind me in the "period queue" so I said it again "THERE YOU ARE MISS POPULAR XXXXX THAT IS HOW YOU ASK TO BE EXCUSED! YOU DO NOT SAY "CANT SHOWER MISS, I AM ON" THANK YOU MISS BOGEYFACE, YOU MAY GO!"

The girl behind me was the most popular girl in the year, which is why I got the piss ripped out of me and she didnt. Fucking bitch. And thank you Miss Froggart.

FortyDoorsToNowhere · 28/10/2013 22:10

I got told that line at school that periods don't hurt.

I thought I was seriously ill and my appendix was going to burst, thank god my mum being more informative than the school gave me 2 magical pills that took the edge off. ( paracetamol)

I am 28 and now take 2 ibuprofen still for period pain

Spikeytree · 28/10/2013 22:11

At my school girls and boys have the talk together in PSHCE. The boys are most put out not to get the little pack of sample products though.

rachyconks · 28/10/2013 22:12

Yeah, well our biology teacher told us we would lose around a teaspoon (so 5ml) of blood during one period. So If that's the sort of thing OP's friend has been learning I'm not surprised he thought that! One teaspoon. Lol.

Bogeyface · 28/10/2013 22:13

Funny how periods dont hurt but there are products specifically aimed at menstruating women in pain. They must be losing money hand over fist!

RooRooTaToot · 28/10/2013 22:41

The only reasons I can think of why he believed this are:

All female folk kept their periods secret growing up
Wife has never asked him to buy sanpro or casually mention "I've only got a couple left"
He doesn't empty the bathroom bin
She cunningly hides used products in tissue
She uses reusable products
She flushes them

Still, it seems a bit bizarre that he has got to this stage of life totally clueless.

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