to think that Csa could contact ex without NI number?

[nippysweetie82]

CSA have just told me that they are unable to take on my case as I can't remember my ex partners year of birth or national insurance number. I have given them his name, address, home phone number and work details. Should that not be enough?

Errmm. Right. So 12 years in, after you told him she wasn't his you want to get the csa on him? And there has never been a dna test? I am certain there is a tv programme you could go on

Both men refused a DNA test. He always knew there was a chance she was his but it was convenient for him to ignore. I was young and made an awful mistake and it's one that I torture myself about every day. My daughter is entitled to maintenance.

She is. Watch him run for a DNA once they start chasing him for money

I'm just going to agree with greenfolder.

So, to summarise;

His family do not know.
This happened 12 years ago
You have told him previously that it was not his child
You do not know he is the father as neither of your 2 possibles have had a dna test
You have contemplated posting his mum pictures of "her only grandchild" who actually might not be
He is not the man you thought he was....

drip, drip, drip.

I have had the DNA test done now. I paid to have it done with the other man as ex wouldn't do it. He is her dad. There is no longer any doubt about that. He agrees he is her dad and says he has no reason to doubt me but he can't help the way he feels.

Irrespective of the drip feed this child does deserve to know the truth and hopefully the man will insist on a dna test which will let the child know the truth going forward

Thanks for the reply Jack. Actually hadn't realised I was drip feeding, I thought I had mentioned the DNA test in my first post. I doubt that he will insist on a DNA test because it's now obvious that he's her dad. There's obviously a lot of background that I can't go in to.

Well he can't help the way he feels- he is not unreasonable in that is he? Not realistic to expect him to suddenly feel like a parent. What do you expect?

I didn't have. Ds's dads NI nor his exact year of birth I knew it was out of 2 but knew the day & month. The info I gave them was that his address & work place address & they found out his NI etc & started a claim

out of curiosity jack how much of the "truth" do you think that this child deserves to know?

nippy I am genuinely surprised that the CSA are not following this up.

But I can see why he is being difficult.

I talked to someone else at the csa today and she said they will contact him.
I do feel bad about claiming the money from him but she is his child. I have memory problems and big chunks of my life have just gone from my memory. I must have had a genuine reason at the time to really believe he wasn't her dad. Possibly a combination of miscalculating the dates and I was possibly on the pill.
I know he kept in contact with us and we were on friendly terms until my daughter was a year old then we cut contact. There was no bad feeling but I have no recollection of what was said at the time.

Good god. But no, they don't need NI no to do CSA.