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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shitty secret Santa presents, AIBU?

36 replies

BadSecretSanta · 26/10/2013 21:23

Ok, I admit I've nc for fear of being recognised!

I've always taken part in the secret Santa at work and I'm thinking of not participating this year because of the amount of crap I get given.

For example, one year I was given a glass picture frame that was chipped all around the edges. Another year I was given a plastic necklace. It was one of those meant to be silver with a jewel on it but plastic and the sort of thing you'd buy from the pound shop for your kids to play dress up in. WTF am I meant to do with that? It went straight to the charity shop.

Firstly (so as not to drip feed), the amount we spend is always negotiated so anyone that wants to take part can afford it. Usually either a fiver or tenner. No-one is forced to take part. If you can't afford it or don't want to its fine, there's no pressure.

So based on that AIBU to feel disappointed that when someone picks my name they think 'oh I know I'll give them that broken picture frame that's been sitting in my cupboard for years'? Really? Thanks a bunch.

I know SS is fun, I do get that! But I do try and give the person something nice for the money. I'd happily have a bottle of wine or some chocolate, I don't care. What I don't appreciate is broken presents or something that clearly came from a pound shop.

I just feel like I try and be nice and clearly whoever picks my name doesn't give a shit. Especially pisses me off as last year I organised the bloody SS!

Why should I spend a fiver on someone when I get some free tat in return?

OP posts:

iwantanafternoonnap · 26/10/2013 21:29

YANBU I am not doing it this year as I have only ever got total shite despite giving good gifts.

One year I got a sailor dolly FFS I am a grown up not a child!

diamond211 · 26/10/2013 21:30

Why not opt out and buy yourself a little treat instead :)

MetellaEstMater · 26/10/2013 21:30

YANBU - I hate, hate, hate Secret Santa. More tat, waste of money. Grr.

Ragwort · 26/10/2013 21:31

A group I was in all agreed to give the £5 to a local charity, we raised a reasonable amount, felt good about it and didn't receive any crap gifts - could you suggest something like this?

CreatureRetorts · 26/10/2013 21:32

YANBU!!! Your colleagues sound delightful. We give chocolate, lottery tickets or booze!

TheSydenhamSet · 26/10/2013 21:32

Iwantanafternoonnap, that really cracked me up!

CheshirePanda · 26/10/2013 21:35

Rather than wasting a fiver on tat, which as you say goes straight to landfill, or to the charity shop at best, why don't you suggest that anyone who draws your name in the SS spends their fiver on a donation to Oxfam (or another charity) in your name? Most Christmases you can nominally buy a chicken for a family in Africa (or whatever) for your fiver and I believe you can get some kind of certificate or picture to give to the recipient, if required.

One person started this off at my office and lots of people joined in. Result: abut £200 Raised for Oxfam, less time wasted searching the high st for a present for a fiver and fewer people binning their presents as soon as they get home. And if others want to do the normal SS they still can.

HibernoCaledonian · 26/10/2013 21:36

I got given Velcro Garden Tidy Straps. Something like this.

Catmint · 26/10/2013 21:39

Last year we gave the money to Women's Aid instead, who used it to do festive things in refuges.

We all made our Secret Santa presents instead. It was lovely. Lots of jam, Christmas decorations, little baked biscuits etc. Turns out we are quite a creative bunch!

Panzee · 26/10/2013 21:42

Last year I picked myself. I bought myself a nice little present. :)

liquidstate · 26/10/2013 21:42

I hate secret santa with a passion.

DH family friends do it every year and I have never received anything I would even dream of giving to someone else. One year it was a kids tractor book and the following year I didn't even get a present. Whoever should have bought for me didn't and no one owned up - MIL told me not to make a fuss so I didn't .

squoosh · 26/10/2013 21:43

We spend £10-£15 each on buying a present for a child who wouldn't otherwise get one. There will be lots of charities local to you who organise this kind of thing.

sweetpieandpeas · 26/10/2013 21:48

I love secret santa! We buy the funniest, stupidest or most inappropriate gifts for each other! Sometimes it can be embarrassing explaining the gifts which 'out' a funny story about you but that is half the fun!

ethlinn · 26/10/2013 21:51

I hate Secret Santa. I think donating to charity is sooo much better. I've never got a nice gift from any of my colleagues. Charity or opting out all the way. The "best" SS was a couple of years ago. My boss would always buy little gifts for the managers, something small, as a thank you for all hard work. I had just been promoted to a mangerial position, she was handing out the gifts, looked at me and said "shit, I forgot all about you".

SheldonsMeeMaw · 26/10/2013 21:52

I got this from my boss last year

IfAtFirstUDontSucceed · 26/10/2013 21:55

YANBU
for two years running I've had the same idiot pick my name in secret Santa, and each year he's tried to be clever by buying me a joke gift.
First year was a naff gadget shop type inflatable . Last year I got a bottle of Jaegermeister - I was 5 months pregnant!
Everyone else was chuffed with their smelly gift sets etc.

Lariflete · 26/10/2013 22:01

One year I organised the Secret Santa and whoever got my name didn't buy me anything

Ruprekt · 26/10/2013 22:06

SS embarrasses me......

KCumberSandwich · 26/10/2013 22:08

YANBU- we all put thought into our secret santa even on a small budget, i'd be quite upset if a work friend couldn't be bothered to think of me.

we get a nice pressie then a horrible one which goes in the "unlucky dip"- diahorrea medication, ridiculous pound shop knickers, pile cream etc. gives us all a good laugh.

i've decided not to take part this year for personal reasons but instead am going to get a little present for one work friend who has been especially helpful to me this year. i will give it seperately from SS though.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 26/10/2013 22:08

Three times I've done SS I've been the only one not to receive anything in return. Its hurtful to think that 3 separate people didn't think I'm worth the effort. When I wised up and said I wasn't doing it anymore I was treated like Scrooge. Its embarrassing when a big deal is made of getting everyone in a group and laughing at the gifts and you're the one sat there with nowt going on. You think I'd have learnt the first time. DON'T COMMIT TO SECRET SANTA IF YOU'RE A SELFISH AND TIGHT CUNT. Its mean.

HettiePetal · 26/10/2013 22:11

I felt so sorry for one of my colleagues last year - she's about 21 and got a Scenes Of Britain calendar. She was gutted because the rest of us got quite nice stuff.

YNBU.

PerpendicularVincentPrice · 26/10/2013 22:13

Sheldon

I like catmint's idea . I would suggest making a gift with a nice personal touch, and giving the money saved to a local charity/refuge.

Moxiegirl · 26/10/2013 22:16

I usually announce loudly 'can I have WINE please' and I usually get it

snowpo · 26/10/2013 22:16

God I hate SS. I don't really care what I get, I just hate the pressure of finding something insightful, personal or supposedly hilarious for someone you don't really know that well. Bleugghh.

Moxiegirl · 26/10/2013 22:16

Although I did get candy nipple tassels one year

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