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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sick and fecking tired of receiving shitty, thoughtless xmas presents

106 replies

justkeeponsmiling · 26/10/2013 16:18

DHs family excells at this and it drives me mad!
We don't have a lot of money to spend on family when it comes to xmas as we have 3 DC and DHs family is massive.
So every year I spend weeks racking my brain trying to come up with nice presents for everyone that don't cost the earth but will still be enjoyed - I'm not just saying that, I really try. Partly because I like giving nife presents and also because I really can't bear the thought that the money we have to save up all year gets wasted on crap that nobody wants!
And every year it's blatantly obvious that most of DHs family get us presents that were bought according to the motto "fuck it, that'll do". They are all loaded, without exception, yet end up getting us the cheapest, shittiest crap you can imagine. Btw, how much money they spend is not an issue, as I said we can't afford to spend much either, but their presents are just so thoughtless and useless!
Examples- Size 18 summer pjs (strappy top and shorts) - I'm a size 10/12. An endless selection of costume jewelry, massive ear hoops, big bling necklaces, etc. - I don't ever wear jewelry. A crappy little fajita pan and chicken fajita kit - we are vegetarians, AND SO IS THE PERSON WHO GAVE IT TO US! The list is endless!
I should add that DH have been together over 10 years and al, his family lives locally. We see each other fairly regularly, so they know us quite well.
I have in the past suggested to DH that we should just tell his family not to get us presents anymore and we stop getting them presents too but he was horrified at the thought, as it's just not the "done" thing in his family. I just know this year won'tbe any different and it

OP posts:
Original poster
justkeeponsmiling · 26/10/2013 16:19

... annoys the hell out of me.
AIBU?

OP posts:
cocoleBOO · 26/10/2013 16:21

In that case let DH be in charge of buying them.

PuppyMonkey · 26/10/2013 16:22

Suggest a Secret Santa system - everyone in family pick a name out of hat and buy one present for one person.

Or just stop buying prezzies.

squoosh · 26/10/2013 16:23

If you can't stop buying gifts for them altogether well then you need to buy them some crap that will baffle the hell out of them. Fergie and Prince Andrew wedding mug for example, a patriotic and oh so classy gift.

Seriously though, if you don't have much spare cash you need to speak to your DH again about the present buying situation.

lagoonhaze · 26/10/2013 16:23

We don't have a lot of money Theres a good enough reason.

Or just do children only.

thebody · 26/10/2013 16:25

I would have given the pyjamas back to be honest and the non veg stuff. you know thanks but think you have us the wrong gift etc.

secondly stop spending so much time in buying them presents. do socks all round or bath smelliest, especially if they like showers!!Grin

Original poster
justkeeponsmiling · 26/10/2013 16:25

squoosh I love your suggestion :)

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 26/10/2013 16:26

Why don't you tell them not to bother giving you gifts, since you are the one who has an issue with them?

usualsuspect · 26/10/2013 16:28

Maybe they don't like the gifts you buy them.

defineme · 26/10/2013 16:29

Amazon wish list - get dh to point them all in that direction.
Dh's family hounded me every xmas because they love buying presents, but insist we have to think of every present and specify shop etc. Now the kids just put whatever they fancy on their wishlist, as do I and there's no stress either way.

usualsuspect · 26/10/2013 16:32

If you are skint just buy them all some chocolates.

Job done,no stress.

Bowlersarm · 26/10/2013 16:34

I think yabu and sound very selfish.

How do you know their not trying their best? They probably think your presents are totally shite too-it may not be a one-way thought, but they're probably not being all mean about it on an international forum!

ObtuseAngel · 26/10/2013 16:35

Re-wrap each gift and, the following Christmas, give it back to the person who gave it to you. Grin. Or suggest that everybody only buys for children and not adults.

trish5000 · 26/10/2013 16:35

Is it stuff that they like themselves, so think you will too?

Or is it stuff that they have left over, or at the back of a cupboard?

Or do you look bowled over by their previous gifts?

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 26/10/2013 16:35

Buy the same thing, or a variation on a theme, for all of them - something along the lines of nice teabags, nice coffee, wine or chocolates/posh biscuits. You can get it all in one go without thinking about it, and then you'll feel less resentful re whatever you receive, because you've invested much less in the giving.

Oh and you can make veggie fajitas.

usualsuspect · 26/10/2013 16:36

I agree,Bowlers.

I'm not fussed about the presents I get at Christmas.

dexter73 · 26/10/2013 16:37

I think you are probably getting the previous years presents that they didn't like/want. Just keep their presents and give them back the next year. See how long you can keep the fajita pan going back and forth!

defineme · 26/10/2013 16:38

Really-you don't think size 18 pjs for a size 10 is thoughtless, a meat pan for a vegetarian?
I would step back from the perfect present search though. Chocolates, paperbacks, scarves, mugs, toys from supermarket toy sale...all things which can be inexpensive and shouldn't take time stressing over.

fatlazymummy · 26/10/2013 16:39

How is buying size 18 pyjamas for someone who is size 10-12 'doing their best'? I'd like to see what their worst is.
Personally I'd just stop exchanging presents, at least for adults. Life is too short ,and money is to prescious, to waste on useless tat.

YouTheCat · 26/10/2013 16:42

OP, the pound shop is your friend.

YoniTime · 26/10/2013 16:47

YANBU
Better to not give presents than to buy pointless crap the other person won't or can't use. Like several sizes to large clothing.
Or can you ask them to only give you some chocs or similar this year?

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/10/2013 16:47

No wonder your DH doesn't care, you do all the work. If he wants to carry on the Christmas present thing, let him do it. It baffles me why people keep doing something when there is no reason at all.

BackforGood · 26/10/2013 16:49

Really BowlersArm ? I was going to agree with that sentiment (from the title) - as I hate the whole Christmas shopping thing - but when you actually read it, the OP has a pretty good point.

If you know someone's vegetarian, why buy them a chicken fajita kit?. Someone who is a size 10/12 doesn't look anything like a size 18 (you might misjudge and get an 8-10, or 12-14... but 18???)
If you see someone regularly and they never wear jewelry, why would you get them a load of flashy bling ? Confused

YouTheCat · 26/10/2013 16:49

I agree with getting your dh to buy for his family. Takes the stress off you.

IslaValargeone · 26/10/2013 16:49

We bit the bullet last year and told everyone we were not buying presents so please do not buy for us.
It came to a head after everyone in dh's family asked his mum to do their Christmas shopping for them. We ended up receiving only i-tunes vouchers. We have no i-anything.
We simply couldn't afford to stretch ourselves to get people presents and then or it to smart even more that people gave our presents so little thought.