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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being immature?

7 replies

my2centsis · 26/10/2013 08:48

Very brief back ground. Been with dh 8years, he had a very bad childhood think beatings, in and out of foster homes etc. He completely turned his life around and is a very hard workig loving husband/dad.

I was his first Sexual partner. 2years into our relationship he cheated. He was also Lieing to me a lot. About little things that didn't even matter. I never understood it.

Fast foward to now the last 3 or so years have been amazing. We are very happy.
I chose to stay with him after he cheated because I do love him so much and In all honesty I think I was to scared to leave as I was 21 with a 1 year old and no family support.

So this afternoon he was at work (on a job site) he said he would be home at 5 at 5.30 I got a txt from my mum saying she just drove past him coming out of his work head quarters. Which was over an hour away from where he was working. I thought that's odd but didn't think much more of it. We have had some severe winds were we are and I asked if he saw any Trees down on his way home. He then told me which way he came home (which I know is impossible because of mum seeing him at his head quarters) .

Iv now found myself really angry that he has lied to me over something to insignificant. I haven't said I know he's Lieing as I'm thinking it over. I don't want to play games but feel like I'm right back to where I was 4years ago. Why lie over something so silly.

Please tell me to pull my head in

OP posts:
everlong · 26/10/2013 08:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Squitten · 26/10/2013 08:54

Well, this is the problem with choosing to stay with a liar. No matter how far you come, there's a part of you that's looking for the next lie. And now you found one.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask him why he has told you that he did one thing when your Mum saw him elsewhere. The problem is that he can quite easily tell you that your Mum was mistaken and you won't know whether to believe him or not. It's a nasty cycle of mistrust.

I would ask him just to see what his response is.

Hassled · 26/10/2013 08:57

Why would he have gone to the HQ if he was working elsewhere? No possibility that he's in any sort of work-related trouble and had to go and see the Big Boss?

You're not being immature - lying can be so destructive. And once you know someone is able to lie and can lie convincingly, you can never really get past that - you're always questioning what they say.

my2centsis · 26/10/2013 09:17

Yes your right! I feel like I'm completely questioning everything all over again. I wish it wasn't this way. And I don't want to start accusing him of things either. I was hoping someone would tell me to pull my head in and that I was over reacting. His 1 and only day off tomrrow for the past 2weeks and don't want to ruin it for the kids by us arguing

OP posts:
everlong · 26/10/2013 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sooperdooper · 26/10/2013 10:00

Just tell him your mum saw him, don't accuse him of anything, just state the facts and watch his reaction, what a strange thing to lie about

Boardingblues · 26/10/2013 11:52

Could it be that your mother was mistaken?

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