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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to insist DH makes me a website this weekend?

24 replies

havingamadmoment · 26/10/2013 07:33

Dh and I jointly own and run a web development company, it's us and three other employees. Dh (and the others) are developers I do all the planning and admin stuff (I can do basic things like set up a blog stc but no real developy stuff).

I want a website of my own I know what I want it to do I have a plan and dh could easily do it in a day or two - they throw these things together at work . 3 years I have wanted it and been asking dh about it , I've tried doing it myself and failed pretty much straight away . I don't think its unreasonable to ask dh to do it this weekend. I often help him with projects he wants to do.

Aibu to think dh should sit the hell down and do it with me this weekend? If he doesn't shall I start all his work orders and support tickets next week with 1. Build website for loving wife and mother of your children?

OP posts:
FunkyFucker · 26/10/2013 07:43

I built ours using weebly...It was up and running in less than an hour. I prefer to learn how to get things done than rely on other people.

TEErickOrTEEreat · 26/10/2013 07:46

Maybe he doesn't want to do on the weekend what he does all week?

Mogz · 26/10/2013 07:48

Funky if you built it on weebly you probably have a lot less customisation and functionality than the OP will get with a site coded from scratch.
Make him do it OP, my DH has been promising to sort me one for a while now but got side tracked with our wedding site and now he's gone mad making apps in his spare time. I can't complain too much though as hopefully they'll bring in some money.

NotYouNaanBread · 26/10/2013 07:51

Do you know how to set up Wordpress? If you get a hosted one (godaddy.com talks you through it) you can pick a template from themeforest.com & with a bit of fiddling & concentration you can get it done in a few hours and go "nyah!" to your DH.

Or an unhosted one too, of course (simpler but less tweakable).

livinginwonderland · 26/10/2013 07:51

YABU. Learn to do it yourself - there's loads of guides out there. It's v. unfair to "insist" he does it on his weekend and during his free time when he does it every day at work.

It would be nice of him to offer to at least help, but he doesn't have to.

Original poster
havingamadmoment · 26/10/2013 07:58

I know how to make basic websites like Wordpress etc. I just wanted a specific functionality for it. It's not really the sort of thing I could just find a guide about and do it would mean accessing his servers etc and I'm not sure he would be very happy about me fiddling round with those!

OP posts:
Original poster
havingamadmoment · 26/10/2013 08:00

I think what I will probably do instead is stop helping him with his personal projects (which I do -a lot) at weekends until he spends time with me on mine.

OP posts:
WinnieFosterTether · 26/10/2013 08:38

I don't think YABU to expect your dh to use his skills and expertise to help you. Unless he isn't building it because, in his professional opinion, your plan and functionality aren't the best approach.
If he can't spare the time then why not ask one of the other developers to build it during working hours? Obvioulsy that has cost implications because you're using staff time but either it's important for you to have this website or it isn't.
I am a bit confused about how you've managed for 3 years without it, if you need it . . .
However, even if you don't need it and it's just for a hobby, I still don't think YABU to expect your dp to support you.
I don't think you withholding help on your dp's projects is the way to go because I can't see that having the result you want and it will just make you even more angry.

FunkyFucker · 26/10/2013 08:41

Funky if you built it on weebly you probably have a lot less customisation and functionality than the OP will get with a site coded from scratch.

But shirley a website that the OP can manage themselves is better than none or one where they have to ask their partner to look at every time they want something changed...

Original poster
havingamadmoment · 26/10/2013 08:49

I dont think that its a question of him thinking it wont work - its just a personal website really not something I am expecting to have loads of visitors on or make money from. I have a basic family history website which I made using Joomla but I want it to be able to display maps etc in a way that allows me to track family movements so I want a new section added. We have done this sort of thing at work so I know its possible. Its really just that he isn't remotely interested in it so he doesn't want to spend time on it. To be fair I am not interested in his sites either but I help him with them just because I want him to be happy!.

Anyway I will ask him again and you never know he may be in a helpful mood.

OP posts:
hollyisalovelyname · 26/10/2013 09:18

He is being very very unreasonable. Withdraw your assistance til it gets done.

WooWooSister · 26/10/2013 10:00

having considering the type of site it is, he's being VVU not to do it for you. Ask one of the other developers to do it as a favour or tell your dh that you are going to get one of them to do it . . .that might turn it into more of a priority for him. I'm sure he won't want his staff to think he's lazy/incapable/not supportive of his dp Wink

Pinkpinot · 26/10/2013 10:56

I don't think yabu
You have asked him a lot. He knows its important to you
He should be able to spare time for you

Strumpetron · 26/10/2013 12:12

YABU.

If you want to do it yourself and think you can 'knock one up' in a matter of hours then go find a website that allows you to do that, weebly for example.

I can code and script and can assure you a proper website doesn't take a mere matter of hours, it can take days, weeks even depending on the content. I wouldn't personally sit down and try to talk someone through that, it's a minefield.

Maybe ask him to point you in the right direction of a beginners web builder?

hollyisalovelyname · 29/10/2013 17:22

Well...did he?

morethanpotatoprints · 29/10/2013 17:27

YABU but this reminds me of my friend.
Her dh is an electrician and she finally got electric in their new extention 6 months after building.
I know another woman her dh is a plumber. Nothing ever gets done unless in an emergency Grin
Unfortunately, this seems to be the case with many professions.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/10/2013 17:29

Just thought, get some fake quotes together and show him the cost and tell him you are going to employ x to do it. He'll soon get on the case then as they can't stand paying others to do what they can

SantiagoToots · 29/10/2013 17:36

Why don't you grab a geographical plugin from code canyon?

JumpingJackSprat · 29/10/2013 17:40

The op had already said they have done what she wants and it will take a couple of hours - Let's Trust her on that shall we? And learning to code is bloody hard for some people it isn't a case of learn it yourself. Especially seeing as her husband already knows how to do it and can't be arsed to help her. Withdraw all assistance with his hobby projects til he starts to reciprocate.

Strumpetron · 29/10/2013 17:42

If she doesn't know how to code how does she know it'll only take a couple of hours?

JumpingJackSprat · 29/10/2013 18:04

RTFT she said it will take a day or two and they have done it at work before. Hardly a massive imposition on her so called dear husband to help her with something she has been asking for three years. Op yanbu.

NoAddedSuga · 29/10/2013 18:08

My husband has his own website.

It will be a pretty shit website if it only takes 2 days.

Dh website took a long long time but is now very powerful, but it certainly wasnt done overnight

Yabu

morethanpotatoprints · 29/10/2013 18:22

YABU but this reminds me of my friend.
Her dh is an electrician and she finally got electric in their new extention 6 months after building.
I know another woman her dh is a plumber. Nothing ever gets done unless in an emergency Grin
Unfortunately, this seems to be the case with many professions.

morethanpotatoprints · 29/10/2013 18:24

Why has my message appeared twice? I think I was timed out.

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