to feel hurt that my daughter doesn't want my knitted baby clothes?

[Mayflower64]

My daughter lives a long way from us and is four months pregnant. She came to visit last week and I showed her all the clothes I'd knitted for the baby, all modern cardigans, coats and hats, no old-fashioned lacy matinee jackets as I knew she wouldn't like those. She looked at them and said straight out that she didn't want any of them as she didn't like knitted stuff for babies. I was so hurt, they had been made with so much love for her and the future baby. Are knitted things for babies really out of fashion these days? Am I just being stupid to still feel so upset???

[Polpotsbabyteeth]

I think YABU.

I personally can't stand knitted clothes for babies. I think it looks horrible and is old-fashioned (to me).

Unfortunately my mother is a knitter and has been hurt over the duration of my 3DC because I don't share her love of knitted clothes.

I admire your daughter for being honest during her first pregnancy. I wasn't, I pretended to like it, took stuff off my mum and then didn't put it on my first child. It was only after the birth of my 3rd child I finally said it and my mum was very hurt.

But actually I don't care that much. My baby, my rules in all other areas of parenting so why not in the clothes they wear? I think pushing your own preferences on to your daughter when she clearly doesn't like something is wrong. It's hurtful, yes. But you've had YOUR babies to dress up in as many knitted clothes as you like. Let your daughter be.

I agree, make them for your local SCBU or donate them or something.

Don't let it drive a wedge between you and your daughter, it did with my mum because she never let go of the fact I was WRONG. I never let go of the fact she had no right to guilt trip me ABOUT KNITTING.

[callow]

I am sorry your daughter was unappreciative of your efforts.

My mother made a few items for me which I used.

The most useful was a knitted shawl. She made it with a machine washable wool/polyester. It was great for wrapping around the baby as it was stretchy. Perhaps she would like one of those.

It was similar to this pattern.

www.straw.com/cpy/patterns/baby-child/pandaSilk_babyCircShawl.html

[Rosa]

I have kept several knitted items as they were so lovely ...and my mum still makes a cardigan or 2 dd and her go together to choose a pattern and wool.
I loved the cardigans and simple hats and they were so practical. When dd1 was born she made a couple of cardigans in a week as I couldn't find fine wool ones. They washed a treat returned to shape and I got loads of comments on them. also as they were wool dds didd't need loads of layers to stay warm especially when out .
Yes they are still used and I bet somebody will buy them off you if they are well made... I think your daughter doesn't realise how useful they might be.

[FusilliJerry]

The polar bear is great, shriek. I have a photo of dd2 lying next to it - it's as big as her 6lb self!

[RatherBeOnThePiste]

Oh I LOVED my babies in home knits. My mum really wasn't very well, she had early Parkinsons, and she made both of mine some little cardis - they are so precious to me, even though my Kinds are now 16 and 14!

But she didn't give them to me until just before they were born. I think at 4 months I was so fearful, especially with my first, fearful of something going wrong, fearful of giving birth, we didn't do any preparation until much later. Maybe her tactlessness is actually more than just tactlessness, esp if out of character.

I'd wait and see. If she doesn't change her mind send them to Yorkhill Children's Hospital, Glasgow, they'd love to receive them X

[SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood]

It is very cute :)

[moojie]

I would definitely hold onto them. My mum is an excellent knitter and with DS1 knitted me loads but he rarely wore as I dressed him up all the time in jeans and shirts etc. DS2 however was dressed in baby grows and very cute modern cardigans, jumpers and hats right up until he could walk. He's now 18 months and yesterday he wore one of mums chunky knits with a cute pair of jeans and got so many comments!

Things can be so different when the baby actually arrives.

[pudcat]

What do those who do not like knitted baby clothes dress their babies in? Knitting is not old fashioned. There are some wonderful modern baby patterns out there. It seems ungrateful not to accept gifts.

[Eilidhbelle]

Knitted stuff is very in fashion for babies just now and me, my mum and sister have all knitted loads of stuff for my son. My mum knitted the most gorgeous shawl for him, it's super soft 3-ply and we use it constantly, and I really like the idea that he'll be able to use it for his babies. Could you do something like that? If not a shawl, Sirdar do lots of easy blanket patterns.

[gooblediguk]

My daughter and I searched high and low for hand knitted stuff for her baby. It is absolutely the 'in' thing. Just look on eBay!
Mayflower I would pay you to knit us some cardigans!!

[SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood]

vests & sleepsuits mainly.
I know people mean well but I really don't think the OP should knit anything else unless she knows her DD wants it!

[EricLovesAnyFucker]

What a cow.
My mum knitted some bits and I will treasure them forever. DS has a cardie she had knitted for my brother when he was new, I loved that. Anything anyone gave me for DS that was handmade I treasured because it was made with love. Your daughter has behaved horribly, I can't imagine what her excuse is. Spoilt, selfish and bratty.

[Eilidhbelle]

Ps I would say though, while I love knitted baby clothes, I really hate pastel colours, pale yellow and mint green etc, they look so insipid. Could it have been the colours that your daughter didn't like?

[pictish]

I kind of agree with Shriek there. mayflower - if your dd is normally polite and pleasant, and you have a good relationship with her, I would say that you are going to have to swallow your hurt over this.

I completely sit on the fence on this one see? My mum hand knitted loads for ds1 and her clothes were gorgeous - I really enjoyed showing my baby off in them.
However, her neighbour was also a knitter and sent me lots as well...and her style just was not to my taste at all. I would put ds1 in whatever she had sent, take a photo to send back to her, and then it would go straight to the charity shop, which I felt hellish guilty about! She was a very skillful knitter and must have spent hours on those items!
So many times I wanted to tell her not to bother, but I couldn't do it. It went on for about three years. Three years of meticulous, clever, intricate horrible knitting.

I guess your dd thinks that as you're her mum, she's allowed to express her opinion. She will not have meant to hurt you.
On a practical level she has saved you from wasting time making clothes that are not going to be used.

[rubyflipper]

OP: don't give the knits to your ungrateful daughter. Keep them and give them as presents when your friend's children/neighbours etc are having babies.

[lotsofcheese]

YANBU - she could have accepted them with grace & not said anything.

Personally, I don't like knitted clothes for babies - it's the faff of separating then out for hand/wool washing & drying - not ideal in the winter.

However my MIL has knitted some beautiful pieces: blankets which I will treasure forever. I only dress DD in her knitted items when MIL visits, it really doesn't kill me to do that - and I think OP's daughter could do the same, to show her gratitude.

[SHRIIIEEEKFuckingBearBlood]

lots but then they keep coming...and coming...

[MaryPoppinsBag]

OP I'm sorry your daughter has hurt you.
I had some lovely things knitted by my Mum, my Aunt and MIL and my godmother bought me some knitted things including a blanket, abd my husbands ex next door neighbour who he spent a lit of tine with as a small child knitted us a lovely pram blanket. They we lovely and very special. Your daughter doesn't know what she's missing.

[Lagoonablue]

Actually I am looking for some hand knitted stuff for my 3 year old boy so if anyone wants to knit me some jumpers please PM me.

[Thumbfuckerwitch]

I also had a couple of beautiful hand knitted/crocheted blankets which I used all the time, these are much more useful, IMO, than the clothes sometimes.

In answer to whoever asked what I used instead of all the woollen stuff - well I used fleece jackets, or soft cotton knits, or cotton jackets. I'm not kidding when I say my babies both overheated - even in the depths of a UK winter, DS1 could only stand wearing a singlet vest, a sleepsuit and then another warm thing over the top when we went out, usually his fleece hooded jacket. I had to be careful with the blankets as well, many of those were manmade fibres too and again, he sweated massively with them. DS2 even had cold sweats, which were more scary! It did make them itch as well, and as DS1 got older, he would refuse to wear a couple of the jumpers MIL had knitted because they were "too itchy".

[WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes]

I think she might have felt overwhelmed too at that stage. My mum and I have both been known to be a bit too blunt with each other during hormonal times. I would have freaked a bit too I think. Hopefully she will realise and come back and have an honest chat about it with you. FWIW I wouldn't have wanted hand knitted stuff for baby either, I don't like it, just seems itchy and scratchy to me (probably because I can't wear wool next to the skin myself). Luckily neither DM or DMIL knit.

[ForwardSheCried]

How rude. Had it been my mum I'd have thanked her, taken them, and if I hated them then I would have quietly donated them to a friend or a charity shop. I don't think YABU at all.

[WhoKnowsWhereTheSlimeGoes]

Oh yes and in answer to what did I use, basically 100% cotton everything. Fleece for outdoor wear only.

[landrover]

I hated knitted clothes too, till i had my baby, then it all changed and i loved them!!!! Maybe wait and see?