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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - would this worry you

24 replies

grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 14:17

When I arrived at school this morning (we are usually the 1st ones there) and child 'L' was standing on his own. His dad had dropped him off and left. There was a good 10 minutes until doors opened, its to the side of the building so not a staffed area.

It has worried me a bit, child L is a live wire and I was worried he could have wandered off. I made sure he got in ok.

They are 5 yr old's by the way.

OP posts:
ohforfoxsake · 25/10/2013 14:19

Yes, if there was no one else there it would.

He should have asked you to take him in. I assume he was left in the knowledge that other people were around, but still, the parent/carer should have asked.

Its good that you were there and able to keep an eye on him though.

aturtlenamedmack · 25/10/2013 14:19

Not appropriate for a 5 yo to be left in a playground on his own.
I would explain the situation to the school when you go to pick up, so they can speak to the dad.

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 14:21

Lots of parents ask the others to keep an eye out etc and rush off to work, no issue with that at all.

But there was nobody but him there when I arrived. Been bothering me all day. Will mention it to the school I think, would feel awful if something happened to him

OP posts:
AnyFuckersfrogslegs35 · 25/10/2013 14:22

I personally wouldn't leave a 5 year old alone waiting around for 10 mins but did the Dad know his child would be waiting around - maybe he thought L could go straight into class. Does he usually do the morning drop off?

dingledongle · 25/10/2013 14:23

I would mention rod the office staff. A five year old should not be left outside the school gates with no adult present.

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 14:24

Good point Anyfuckersfrogslegs35 don't think dad does normally drop off, he is usually at breakfast club or his mum does it.

OP posts:
dingledongle · 25/10/2013 14:24

Sorry a about typos should read I would mention it to office staff!

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 14:25

dingledongle the gates were open but the classrooms locked. The front gate open earlier than the back so he was most likely there on his own (within school grounds but not in a staffed area) for 5 minutes before I arrived.

OP posts:
MadeOfStarDust · 25/10/2013 14:27

Depends on the five year old. 10min is not that long.

Maybe his dad had to rush off with another child who was sick, take someone to hospital... whatever... leaving a child outside a school for 10min does not seem that big a deal in the wide scheme of things....

DeWe · 25/10/2013 14:28

I would mention to the school. Dad may have assumed that's what is done (after all it was done when I was little, there'd be almost no parents seeing you in-certainly after year R) and needs a little mentioning.

Although it's possible there was more to it. I remember a little lad in dd1's class (year R) said his dad told him to go to school, so he did. Couple of main roads, no problem. Got into class... Desperate call from the dad "can't find my ds..."
Dad had said "time to go," went to get his coat, and his ds had thought he'd just told him to go. Dad thought ds was hiding to avoid going, so spent 10 minutes searching the house before he phoned a neighbour to ask if they'd seen his ds. Answer was "yes, he's just walked intot he classroom..."

AnyFuckersfrogslegs35 · 25/10/2013 14:29

Ah so it could be a case of Dad thinking 'job's a good un' and not realising he actually should deliver little one to the safety of the classroom.
Depending on how you'd feel doing it - maybe have a word with the dad/mum or if you don't feel comfortable then do mention it to the School and they'll have a word.

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 14:29

madeofstardust that's what i am trying to gauge. Just because it's something I would not do, does not mean its wrong.

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 14:31

Don't feel all that comfortable talking to the parents myself, I don't know her really and she would be quite within her rights to tell me to piss off and mind my own!

OP posts:
carabos · 25/10/2013 14:43

DH dropped my DS1 (his DSS -7 at the time) off at school one morning and was slightly surprised, but largely unconcerned to see that the normally busy car park was empty. Thought nothing more of it and went on his way.

An hour or so later I got a phone call from ex-MiL saying that DS1 was at her house (she lives about a mile from the school, across an A road, through town and up a very steep hill) just letting me know that "luckily I'm in - he's safe now he's with a responsible adult" Hmm.

Turned out it was an INSET day or summat and the school was closed. DS1 had the sense to go to his GPs, but of course DH and I looked like a pair of twats.

Not everyone is totally switched on at all times in regard to school and we don't always make the best decisions, but thankfully our DCs seem to survive.

tangledupinblue · 25/10/2013 14:46

I'd talk to the class teacher...10 minutes is a long time for a 5 year old, lots of wandering off time!

exexpat · 25/10/2013 14:49

Don't most schools have rules about children not being dropped off before a certain time, or not being left without parental supervision? I'm pretty sure my DCs' primary schools did. I don't think any school would want to accept responsibility for anything that happened to an unsupervised five-year-old left alone in the playground. I would certainly check with the school office.

WooWooOwl · 25/10/2013 15:03

That is completely unacceptable and irresponsible, and I'd definitely tell the school. If this happened at our school the head would talk directly to the parents an probably put a reminder not to do it in the newsletter either.

It doesn't matter what the reason for it is.

How do you know the dad dropped him off and left him alone though if he was on his own when you arrived? I'm assuming he told you.

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 15:28

He was on his own and he said, I'm lonely I have no one to wait with.

Hard to explain but his dad couldn't have been anywhere out of sight, school doors are on the outside of a square building.

OP posts:
Squitten · 25/10/2013 15:30

I would simply point it out to the teacher that he was there by himself. It's up to them to mention it to the parent.

Delilahlilah · 25/10/2013 15:42

it is against the school rules here. They do not take responsibility until the bell goes. I would no way leave a 5yr old, I think the school should sort it out.

Chusband · 25/10/2013 15:46

Tell the teacher. It's not the right thing to do, although it might be the dad is clueless rather than neglectful. Either way, he needs to know its not on!

Original poster
grumpalumpgrumped · 25/10/2013 22:10

Decided to mention it, will drop them a email as won't be dropping off myself for ages.

DH couldn't see a problem Hmm but hastily added 'not that I would do that' when he saw my face!

OP posts:
moldingsunbeams · 25/10/2013 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayakinggirl86 · 25/10/2013 23:38

I would high light it to the school.
As a teacher I have been socked this week when finding a member of my class (year 5-9yo) wandering the school at 7am cause mum had to go to work early. We are not meant to have children on school site till 8:15. So if I had not gone to get leaves for a project we were doing that day child could have been out in the cold for over an hour!

If you go to the parent you may come across judge mental, when school will be able to offer solutions and state the rules.

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