To be 'proud' of DD for her refusal to accept gender assignments for colours.

[Tallaween]

DD is 5 (nearly 6) she is a pretty girly girl in some ways - she likes dresses, and shoes, and sparkles - so she is not immune to gender stereotyping but I have done my best to convince her that there are no boy colours or girl colours. That if she likes something she can bloody well have it regardless of hue or location in store.

As a result her sparkly dresses are generally green, and accessorised with monsters inc headwear and wolf feet with claws (because she's very into monsters alongside her penchant for fairies) which she picks herself from the 'boys' section of the shop.

The other day I was evesdropping on her conversation with one of her little boyfriends and he told her that blue is a boy colour.

She got a touch of The Rage and told him "that's stupid!" Colours are for everyone"

I had a little rush of smug pride at her forthright behaviour and refusal to back down AIBU

Colours do affect the brain though. They can affect mood and all sorts.

That's not the point though. I agree with WoT.

I remember being in infants school (I'm 45, hence the term infants) and there being an end of term fun afternoon. We were split into groups and we had to jump up and answer a question when we were picked. The question to me was 'what is the colour associated with girls'?
I had no idea and picked a colour I can't even remember now but what I do remember was the sarky laugh/remark from the teacher that it was pink. Like I should know it.
In short, I'm rather proud of my mum for making sure I wasn't suckered into that pile of shite!

No but if you were a small boy who loved pink and were refused a pink bedroom because 'it's for girls' it would effect you wouldn't it?

The options for that boy are to either change what he likes, hide what he likes or accept that a LOT of people his choices aren't acceptable because of the genitals he happens to have.

You're right though a girl is far more likely to be 'indulged' in a preference for a blue bedroom or some plastic power tools because 'tomboys' are cute and they'll probably grow out of it

but 'tomboys' are nearly as good as real boys of course....and very good point re: a boy not being allowed to have a pink bedroom.

DS1 was teased for having long hair and playing with dolls in school. Luckily he ignored but other boys would probably have caved and stopped playing with toys (dolls) they really liked.

DS2 (6) loves his ballet and gymnastics classes, but won't let me tell any of his friends because they will laugh at him.

This is not a problem just for girls.

I tend towards dressing my babies in traditional colours for their gender (or neutral) as otherwise the comments irritate me about "What a lovely little boy" (directed to my bald 4 month old girl in a blue dress!!).

But my DD (9) doesn't like pink and doesn't associate it with her gender - blue is the fave colour of both my DD and DS and matches their eyes. I don't think how you dress them as babies has any effect really - it is societal pressure and I don't care enough to fight it!! Similarly in my family it is well accepted that their cousin (boy) loves pink and likes to dress in girls clothes - so bloody what? I think gender sterotyping and the fight against it is a bit 70s tbh.

Tangential post, but this reminded me of a conversation I overheard between DS (10) and DD (5):

DS: Your friend "Paul" likes pink.
DD: It's his favourite colour.
DS: He likes to wear dresses.
DD: He likes to wear them for dress up.
DS: Maybe he's gay.
DD: What's gay?
DS: It means that you grow up and marry another boy and after you're married you have to adopt children otherwise your Mum will be angry about no grandchildren.

I'm neither proud nor displeased about DS' colour bias, but I am pleased that if he is gay, he knows he damn well better adopt because I really do want GC!

My toddler ds has a lovely pair of pink wellies that were handed down from a friend.

A little boy today said: Haha Sam has got girl's boots.
I replied: Well, when they were Ruby's they were girl's boots, but now they are Sam's they are boy's boots.
Little Boy: Oh okay.

(all names have been changed to protect the innocent young children..)

Your 5 year old stood up to someone talking bollocks. Of course you should be proud. Be it sexist, racist, disablest bollocks. It isn';t acceptable and you should be proud your dd stood up for herself.

Took ds and dd (2.5) out to shops just after bedtime the other day in her pajamas. Batman ones. A woman in the shop was talking to her and asked me if I was hoping for a girl this time (I am pregnant) "I said, I've got one of each, so not too worried one way or the other.."

Woman looks at ds and dd figures it out says to dd, oh your mother can't let you out in public dressed as Batman, you're a little girl".. I breath in count to five and think "she's much older..ignore it" She goes on about it for another minute or so....

Then as we are walking out she turns again to dd and says "tell your mommy to buy you some nice pink clothes, you'd look so pretty in pink."

It's incessant OP. And they do take it in. I hope dd is able to stand up for herself as she gets older

It means that you grow up and marry another boy and after you're married you have to adopt children otherwise your Mum will be angry about no grandchildren.

Sorry I snorted here.. you've already drilled in GC have you?

I think it's great that your dd said that and, as the parent of a pink-glitz-dress-loving boy, I think it very important that parents actively discourage their dc from associating particular colours with genders.

When ds1 (not the pinkster mentioned above) came home from nursery spouting rubbish about pink being for girls, I was livid, and this shows how prevalent the idea still is.

Ds2 loves dresses, Hello Kitty and pink. He only has a couple of princess dresses and is happy to wear those over his own clothes, but I am going to get him some HK nightwear for Christmas. He has a pink bedroom, but no other child has seen it yet. He takes a pink lunchbox to school and wears pink flowery Peppa Pig wellies. He tells me that one boy told him his willies were for girls and asked if they were really his. I don't think the child was trying to be mean - just thought he was stating a fact . Ds replied that pink is just a colour and is for anyone who likes it and, yes, that does make me proud too.

I don't care what else they do - I want me some grandbabies! And I will be happy to buy pink dolls for the boys and blue cars for the girls.

Good for your DD.

Of course there are other, more important things to worry about, but this is a damn good start.

She has stated that there is no reason that girls shouldn't wear blue, and she will hopefully soon be just as confident in stating that there is no reason for girls not to become scientists or earn the same as boys.

I have nothing against pink, as long as it is only one colour in the rainbow, and girls don't feel confined to only wearing pink or purple, because there is little alternative.

Great typo, lecce!

OP, you are right to be proud. It's ridiculous that children are still being told that they should choose their clothes/toys/books/friends etc based on the genitals that they happen to have.

My DD was into blue in a big way in nursery, but then by about 4 or 4 and a half she switched to pink. I couldn't care less what her favourite colour is, but I want her to choose it because it's what she likes- not because it's what she thinks she should like.

Anyone else noticed that MN automatically changes wellies to willies? I changed the first back, but missed the second - which is funnier anyway .

is it easier to teach this with girls than boys?

I have two boys and am an out and out feminist, I've always corrected them when they've talked about pink being for girls but at 8 and 4 they both still insist that pink is for girls. is it school/friend influence do you think?

DS spotted a tshirt that said 'Anything girls can do, boys can do better' and was MOST INDIGNANT in a very loud voice while I egged him on in a shop in Germany last year.

He tells me that one boy told him his willies were for girls and asked if they were really his

Think you need to have a word with the school about what they are teaching in Biology class nowadays!

PervCat

You missed my sarcasm then.

Gender stereotyping with masculine being bettor or the norm and feminine being being inferior or 'other' starts with stupid things link 'boys colours', 'girls toys'.

is it easier to teach this with girls than boys?

Possibly because with girls you are telling them that they are just as good as boys and upping their worth in society, with boys you are telling them that they are not as good as society peseveres.

Erm, can't help wondering what the reaction would be if I turned up to work in a man's suit.

Of course colours are colours but men and women do wear different clothes ...

Yes, but they don't need to weneed. It's purely a made up rule created by the society you live in.

Hopefully the next generation of little boys who love pink and glitter and little girls in dungarees.. Won't be weird and won't get a shitty reaction

Completely concede that colder but we do go by made up rules to a large extent, don't we? Or conventions at any rate - I suppose that's what I see the children's clothing issue as, a convention of society rather than anything particularly harmful.

You know, oddly, I think the ability to throw on (and look good in) men's clothes is one thing we women do have over men.

In the long distant past when I had to dress smartly for work I did often wear men's shirts, sometimes even with a tie. No one ever batted an eyelid. I still do throw on DH's t-shirts. I remember a fashion for boxer shorts for women.

Of course if DH went to work in one of my dresses people would and

It probably all ties back into what someone said earlier about the perception of men being better than women. And the fact that women quite often look 'sexy' in menswear. And men are alright with that. Unless it's dungarees - because they transmit lesbianism, and not the nice porny kind .

though knowing that I am still going to wear DH's lounge wear when I am poorly, better potentially ruin his stuff than mine

I missed your sarcasm as you were crap at it