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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to start the day with this?

45 replies

TwoTearsInABucket · 25/10/2013 07:12

DH telling me that I make promises I can't keep, criticising my food choices (not great ones tbh) and just generally commenting on me and where I go wrong in life.

6.30am and already he starts. He probably thinks he just says what he sees but give it a bloody rest. Or at least wait half an hour.

OP posts:

BlackholesAndRevelations · 25/10/2013 07:52

Wtf is the issue with the gym ball?! It's nothing to do with him whether you bounce on it or not!!

I say to my dp "I've done nothing today" (besides look after my 2 and 3 year olds, take them out etc; I'm pregnant too and work part time) It doesn't matter to him whatsoever.

You're pregnant FFS. This sounds like a very bizarre relationship if this behaviour is normal.

Original poster

TwoTearsInABucket · 25/10/2013 08:01

He's really stressed at work, wants to spend more time with the children but can't and is tired. All of this I understand.

I do say things back but because it's generally inspired by something he's said to me it ends up sounding like tit for tat.

We're bothered and grumpy. Not a great combo!

OP posts:

MinesAPintOfBlood · 25/10/2013 08:04

Doesn't everyone have a lost of jobs they've said they'll do but haven't got around to yet? From your op I was expecting something like promising to pick him up after work then not bothering.

EricLovesAnyFucker · 25/10/2013 08:08

He sounds horrible.

WooWooOwl · 25/10/2013 08:10

Tbh, I would (and do) find it really irritating when people say they are going to do things and then they don't. It's one of my bug bears in life, I just can't understand why you would bother saying that you're going to do something and then not do it. Unless you're sure you're going to do it, just don't say anything. Easy.

However, when it comes to something that doesn't affect your DH in the slightest, he should keep his minor irritation to himself.

marriedinwhiteisback · 25/10/2013 08:11

He's being insensitive but why don't you do what you say you will do. It would annoy me if DH said he'd do x, y and z and then didn't do it. It's like telling the DC they can have a toy and not getting it or they can go to the park and then not doing it.

Jolleigh · 25/10/2013 08:13

Mine does it at daft times too. I'm only 18 weeks but the response is still 'Will you just fuck off, it's daft o'clock in the morning!'

Becomes second nature to them if you don't say anything. He's just not being very thoughtful though. It's nothing personal.

DontPanicMrMannering · 25/10/2013 08:15

Hang ona minute your op made it sound like he just started having a go.

But then you say "I just wanted a moan".

So did you start something like "im so knackered and feel so fat"

Response

"Well you are choosing a lot of chocolate, did you have a go at that exercise ball?"

Howsuper · 25/10/2013 08:18

Back track, back track, back track (my friends with 'honest' husbands do this too when they realise they've said too much about their 'honest' ways)....

Thumbfuckerwitch · 25/10/2013 08:47

MIne does honestly know better than to start anything with me at that hour in the morning. I Don't Do Mornings, and if I'm even awake at 6:30, then just talking to me is already a threatening situation, never mind whinging or nagging me!

Your DH is being unreasonable to pick on you for minor shit when you're 36w pg and have 2 other DC to look after. Is he helping you? Does/did he help get the other 2 up? Does he do much else to help around the house? Why the fuck can't he be considerate and pump the ball up himself instead of bitching at you because you haven't done it yet?

As for food choices, hello, you're PREGNANT - pretty much all bets are off so long as you're actually getting nutrients into you!

I'd unleash some of the hormones on him, tbh. Might get him to stop bitching at stupid o'clock at the very least, and might even get him to help out a bit more!

itsaruddygame · 25/10/2013 09:36

Tell him to fuck off. Seriously what is he thinking? If DH had so much as uttered a critical word to me when I was 36 weeks pregnant I would have ripped him a new one. He should be bringing you tea and toast in bed and rubbing your feet (AND blowing up the birthing ball for you).

oldwomaninashoe · 25/10/2013 10:15

when Dh starts criticising me I always look at him (over my glasses) and sympathise with him at the difficulties he faces being sooo perfect and having to live/put up with someone like me!

It usually shuts him up.

Original poster

TwoTearsInABucket · 25/10/2013 10:24

No, I didn't 'start' anything actually. Dd was putting the end of the ball pump in her mouth, I said don't do that. DH said 'have you blown the ball up yet? You never do things when you say that you are going to, I just don't understand you, full of promises but never actually do anything' etc. Then moves straight onto, ' and why are you eating popcorn for lunch you should be eating salad, you're eating too much.' That was going back to a conversation from the other day.

I know that he is a difficult person, I have told him this. He knows how annoying he is. I know how annoying I am but sometimes I just want to moan about being told just how annoying at 6.30am.

OP posts:

DontPanicMrMannering · 25/10/2013 10:38

Ok Then you need to give him a (verbal) kick up the arse! He's got you believing you are annoying that's terrible.

HE should be doing your exercise ball and getting up with the kids when you are that far gone.

Original poster

TwoTearsInABucket · 25/10/2013 10:46

Kids are easy, Dh sorts himself out and brought the tea up.

But I will be reminding him that I asked him to empty the boot of tins of food from Monday and he still hasn't done it. Hah!

OP posts:

Thumbfuckerwitch · 25/10/2013 13:06

'and why are you eating popcorn for lunch you should be eating salad, you're eating too much.'

Is he serious??? You are growing a baby FFS! Unless you have put on several stones already, he has NO BUSINESS talking to you like that! Cheek of the fecker! Even if you HAVE put on several stones already, he still has a hide.

Tell him that he can discuss your food intake when, and only when, he can grow his own baby. The NERVE!

OH and do get onto him about the cans in the car - preferable with the added rider "you never do anything you promise you will".

witsalmader · 25/10/2013 13:19

It's like telling the DC they can have a toy and not getting it or they can go to the park and then not doing it

It's not really the same though, is it, because OP hasn't talked about doing something for someone else and then not bothered - she's mentioned doing something that affects her and only her, and then not got round to it.
I find it extremely frustrating when someone tells me they'll do something for me and then fails to do it, but if it's absolutely nothing to do with me, I don't care. Why would I?

TrumptonVandal · 25/10/2013 14:00

Whatever he's annoyed about, it isn't actually the exercise ball.

RedorBlack · 26/10/2013 04:39

Late to the thread but seriously what is he playing at?

36 weeks pregnant and 6.30am & he tells you you're eating too much? He is either very brave very stupid or a bit of both

ForwardSheCried · 26/10/2013 04:41

YANBU. He sounds like a right miserable fuckwit!

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