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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with visitors arriving past midnight?

27 replies

PBeanandGone · 24/10/2013 19:58

We have family coming to see us and meet our new baby daughter. DM is driving about 200 miles with my nieces and nephew, all under 8. I have had no ETA from them until about an hour ago, they are not going to be here until gone midnight. We are sleep deprived and just getting DD into a routine. I have tried to contact them all week to pin stuff down and said i will have a meal ready.

There is absolutely no good reason why they are going to be this late. Am quite annoyed...and bloody tired! AIBU?

OP posts:
CallMeNancy · 24/10/2013 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuperiorCat · 24/10/2013 20:03

Agree with Nancy, they can let themselves in.

They are rude

TurnOffTheTv · 24/10/2013 20:07

So they haven't even left yet?? I'm assuming they are putting the little ones in the car hoping they fall asleep for most of the journey?

Jolleigh · 24/10/2013 20:08

If you were told about arrival time well in advance, fine. But to do this last minute when you have a newborn isn't on.

YANBU.

Nat38 · 24/10/2013 20:08

I agree-key under door mat etc!!Wink
Angry on your behalfAngryShock
If you are sure little ones won`t wake you up at that time of night/morning, go to bed & see them in the morning when you are rested of sortsWink
Its cheeky of them to expect entertaining at that sort of time in any circumstance but especially when you have a new babyAngrySadfor you!

Jolleigh · 24/10/2013 20:09

In fact, I'm quite pissed off on your behalf. Angry

Luckypaws · 24/10/2013 20:09

That is a ridiculous time to expect to arrive at someones house!

Poosnu · 24/10/2013 20:17

They must be doing it so the children will sleep in the car and make the journey easier.

Agree that you should leave them to let themselves in - they will probably just want to go to bed themselves when they arrive. I'm sure they won't be expecting hospitality.

ScariestFairyByFar · 24/10/2013 20:18

That's ridiculous but I'd guess they are leaving at bed time. Leave key under mat or door open and see them in the morning. Unless your oh wants to wait up for them.

phantomnamechanger · 24/10/2013 20:20

surely they did not plan it this way, something must have delayed them leaving or gone wrong in some way? 200 miles - so 4-5 hours - have they only just left?? maybe would have been better if they had an early night and left at 6am!

we have arrived after midnight once, through no fault of our own, thanks to a 4 hour tailback.

ScreamingNaanAndGoryOn · 24/10/2013 20:20

Doing this when you have a newborn is completely out of order. I couldn't have had anyone come to stay afterwards, so you're a saint for that to start with. Turning up that late is just ridiculous.

I agree: Key in a safe place, food in the fridge, please don't wake us up.

OR - find a bloody travelodge.

MissSusanStoHelit · 24/10/2013 20:40

Absolutely shocking - I cannot believe anyone would do this! I'd send them to the Travelodge for sure... Shock

Original poster
PBeanandGone · 24/10/2013 21:04

No..unfortunately no good reason. It's nice to squeeze as much time out of the visit but i wish they had said what they were doing as I wouldve suggested they get an early start tomorrow and stay at home tonight.

OP posts:
Original poster
PBeanandGone · 24/10/2013 21:06

key is under mat

OP posts:
Original poster
PBeanandGone · 24/10/2013 21:26

Am now considering a 'cryptic treasure hunt' for the door key - thought it might be fun for the kids :D

OP posts:
ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 24/10/2013 22:14

It's a bit rubbish but probably wil be an easier journey for them in the eve tbf. You are well with in your right to leave the key under the mat for them though

theoriginalandbestrookie · 24/10/2013 22:18

YANBU - What a ridiculous time to think of arriving when you have a newborn. Text them and tell them where the key will be, explain how much sleep per night you are getting - perhaps they have forgotten what life with a new baby is like. What a bummer - you'll be awake anyway no matter what you do.

YellowTulips · 24/10/2013 23:08

Agree with other posters.

Leave a key in a safe place and go to bed.

From your post it sounds like they are being thoughtless rather than deliberately rude, but either way don't pander to it.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 25/10/2013 01:31

Just curious though... Were any of you actually asleep at midnight when you had a newborn? I was just s likely to be asleep at 4 in the afternoon to be honest. And probably fightin tears off at midnight!

CanucksoontobeinLondon · 25/10/2013 01:38

OP, they're being ridiculous. They can let their own damn selves in. Even hotels have rules about late check-in, and you have to pay to stay there.

Colder, when my two were newborns I got no sleep except for the occasional 20 minute catnap. It's one of the reasons we stopped at two kids. Sleep deprivation is a great form of birth control.

ColderThanAWitchsTitty · 25/10/2013 01:48

Sleep deprivation is a great form of birth control.

as are children in general

OverMyDeadQODdy · 25/10/2013 06:37

Wow. Just wow

littlewhitebag · 25/10/2013 08:05

I fail to see the problem. We used to arrive at my bil's house at that time when we visited with very young children and theirs were young too. ( and they did this when visiting us) The children travelled the long distance better at night as they slept in the car. At the other end they were straight to bed with minimal fuss. Your baby isn't going to be disturbed if it's sleeping. You can ask that they see themselves in quietly and quickly. Bit of a non problem IMO.

jammiedonut · 25/10/2013 08:12

Go to bed and leave a key out. The thought of entertaining at midnight when ds was a newborn brings tears to my eyes (I can't nap aargh). I'm sure they've thought as pp have that it would be easier for the kids, mildly annoying for you but as pp have said, it's not the end of the world and you'll likely be up every 2-3 hours anyway!

WitchyMcCauldron · 25/10/2013 08:50

Did they arrive?