People who get frothy about removing pubic hair?

[OoozingCervix]

I do get the whole pre-pubescent/pornstar thing.

but what about legs and pits?

Is that not the same argument?

Despite not really giving two hoots what other people do (and I know the whole shave/trim/plait thing has been done to death) but it confuses me.

i used to work as a beauty therapist, bikini waxing was the most popular treatment. i was only asked once to wax all pubic hair off and the woman happened to be a stripper and prostitute

it has become popular mainly because porn has and this is what woman have in porn films, this is where so many men learn what sex is about and this is what many expect or are conditioned to thinking this is how women should be

saying that i know in many middle eastern countries all hair is sugared off, when my ex sil suggested it to me i was horrified

To each her own. But what boggles my mind is that those who go for a completely bare look have to do one of three things:

1. Spend ages in the shower every morning applying a razor to a somewhat delicate and convoluted body part in order to avoid itchy regrowth/ chafing issues;

2. Apply ponging, stinging depilation lotion to aforementioned parts;

3. Lie spreadeagled on a paper-covered couch while an orange lady attacks their lady parts with hot wax/ a laser gun. A LASER GUN!!

It all sounds a bit bonkers to me. If it came to be the expected norm (like the social pressure to shave pits) I would be pretty cross about it.

Bouquet that would be an odd haircut

pooka i find that situation quite disturbing. The fact that he saw her ladygarden and the fact that the mother didn't think to question it or set down house rules on modesty within a mixed sex household. Also the fact that she took her teen daughters to get it lasered rather than allow them their bodily autonomy In our family we had a rule about modesty and privacy-soon as you hit puberty you make sure you leave the bathroom either suitably dressed or wearing a bathrobe, always knock-no barging into each others bedrooms. I've not come across anyone in my circle who had it lasered though.....

fortydoorstonowhere i used to either shave it or use depil creams-the re-growth itch was awful as were the ingrowing hairs, then i started getting it waxed and it's well worth the investment. Grows back softer,no ingrowing hairs and over time it actually takes longer to grow back

daleybump i guess because it's a point of interest and makes a nice change from the usual 'vaginal tears/saggy fanjo' etc threads [grins]

I like my pubic hair beat when it is a few days post shaving/week post waxing. Lovely and soft and the same short length all over.

I prefer my DP to shave and like or heat when he is a few days of new growth.

I dislike getting pubes in my mouth.

pooka i believe this is an area where we women need to start consciously and actively re-assessing why we give others (people/culture etc) the power to decide what we should be doing with our bodies. Shaved pits and legs has become the norm unfortunately but that shouldn't stop us from teaching our children that actually hairy is a perfectly natural state and any deviation from that is, as you rightly said, a personal choice and we should not allow anyone else to make that choice for us. I guess the best way to approach it with your DD would be to emphasise that seeing as it is an area that one would generally only share with their significant other, it is entirely her choice as to what she does with it. Her partner/s should respect her choice, if they don't then they're not worthy of being with your daughter

I also found it very disturbing. Though not so much in terms of him seeing - it happens. There's no suggestion that it was dodgy in that sense. We're pretty open in my immediate family and I ould imagine me walking in on ds, or dh walking in on dd accidentally in the future (and apologising and leaving swiftly). But the idea that he felt he could comment negatively says a lot about him IMO.

I don't expect it was a case of forcing them to do it. I expect his reaction suggested that that's what women do. A rite of passage. And if mom says women remove hair, or if that's what they seen her like, then it's normalised for them.

I just found it so sad.

Why would you want a perfectly nice place looking like a plucked chicken.

Badbride - I shave, and after 20 years of practice, it takes me less than a minute.

Oh - and as I say, I started doing this 20 years ago - longer than the decade ago when it was virtually unheard of, according to one poster - and despite being at the forefront of this movement, I can promise you I was never a stripper or prostitute. I did it one day, like the way it made me felt, and never went back.

I do it just for me, too. Dh likes it that way, but knows fine well that if I wanted to stop shaving, I would, because it is my body. And even with no pubic hair, I look NOTHING like a child.

Absolutely gigglestar.

All about making sure other party unlikely to comment negatively by building up trust. At same time, I remember how unconfident I was when first sexually active. The idea that some guy who has an idea from watching porn or having hairless sexual partners that hairy = abnormal might have the ability to knock her body confidence makes me angry.

Years to go though...

edithweston i think the surge in popularity is more to do with awareness of choice and having access to a wider range of hair removal means. I come from a culture where bikini hair trimming/removal is sort of embedded into the 'hygeine' side of things and has been since recorded history, but the removal of other bodily hair, ie facial,arms/legs/pits is frowned upon to the point where some individuals will quote religious texts supporting their viewpoint (go figure!) Saying that, bikini hair trimming/removal is also encouraged as part of the 'how to please your man' thing (not something i agree with btw)...but in the same breath in my culture it is also expected that a woman should never be sharing that region with anyone other than her husband either. I say women should be free to choose either option and be respected for their personal choice.

The only reason I do it is because oral sex feels nicer....my DH returns the favour. We both prefer it, so it's not really anyone else's business

pooka i understand entirely. I would rather not have a 'lady garden' because i find it annoying (and my husband doesn't like it particularly for reasons others have mentioned) but the reason i only get it waxed off when we are going on holiday is because i don't want my daughter to believe it's abnormal or dirty.

I just can't imagine why anyone would bother.

My body's good enough the way it is and if anyone doesn't like it, they don't need to look at it.

If other women want to do it, whatever, but the more normalised it becomes, the more pressure is exerted on younger women who are much more vulnerable to the message that their bodies are disgusting and dirty and not good enough and need to ahve loads of money spent on them to come up to scratch.

Whcih is sad.

badbride most women i know tend to get it waxed, takes less than 5 minutes and doesn't involve being spreadeagled Trust me, i go for the full front and back areas and all i do is lie on alternate sides with my leg bent at the knee. Also, if you trim it before you get it waxed it reduces the 'pull' factor.

I don't know any who wax it. Would you wax your head because it felt cleaner?

29chapel surely you should go with what feels best for you?

basilfucker that is why we women and parents need to educate and emphasise bodily autonomy for men and women in all areas of life and teach them confidence. Unfortunately the media won't and our educational system is woefully lacking. We women need to be kinder to each other too if we want this to happen, i find it sad that we can be so nasty to each other when it comes to things like abortion/childbirth/weight/personal appearance. If we want men-and the wider society-to respect our freedom of choice then we need to set that precedent.

sonlypuppyfat if i wanted to and it felt good for me personally - yes i would. As it happens i love my head of big, bouncy curly hair and am already dreading the time when age will affect that. I wax for me - not anyone else - and therein lies the crucial difference

The correct response when you accidentally walk in on your teenager showering is surely "aargh, sorry, sorry!"

Well, I guess the Ancient Greeks must have been heavy porn users too.......

Agree with gigglestar don't like it at all and think it's unhygienic.

How on earth is it unhygenic? Don't you wash?

Brilliant another "we are all forced to do things by porn and your oh is a paedo" thread.
Just fuck off with it.

sonlypuppyfat it's unhygienic because every time you wax/ shave you are making microscopic tears in your skin which allow bacteria into a very sensitive area of your body, as well as losing the pubic hair which traps bacteria in the first place.

It's a very tiny risk, not very significant, but it is there. When people say things like pubic hair looks dirty, unkempt etc. it always amuses me because actually it's the other way round. It's up to people to decide what risks they're willing to take with their bodies, most women will choose to accept this risk because they've internalised the message that pubic hair = ugly, uncomfortable "inconvenient" (!) etc. and looking in the mirror seeing it there will make them unhappy.

Our culture is very, very good at making women feel unhappy with their bodies. It has a vested interest in doing so, both for financial reasons and ideological ones.