Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think a 7 year old should want to play with toys?!

25 replies

llynnnn · 22/10/2013 22:53

My dd1 is 7 and is not interested in sitting and playing with toys, she would never ever just get toys out to play with, despite them all bring freely available to her, and has always been this way. If she had her choice she would sit in front of the tv or computer constantly! (Which I don't allow I obviously) Unless an adult will sit and play with her or suggest getting toys out and playing too she loses interest in anything after 5 minutes!

She is doing well at school and will happily sit and do maths questions or write a story as long as there is almost constant encouragement and she enjoys playing board games, but again with us. She does enjoy being outside on her bike/ trampoline but if we are close by.

As a child I just remember playing dolls or sylvanian families etc for hours on end with no involvement from anyone else.

My dd2 (4yo) will happily play alone at lots of inventive role playing game or with dolls/cars etc.

Anyone else have a child who just won't/can't play? I can't help but be frustrated with her for not enjoying the freedom of 'play' while she has the chance!

OP posts:

HopLittleFroggiesHopSkipJump · 22/10/2013 22:56

Not really any ideas, but how long will she play if you help?
If you get her into playing with you "helping" her imagination for a week or so, a lot each day (if you have any spare time) do you think that could kickstart her playing a bit more?
Is she into anything physical, swimming, any sports etc? Or ball games?

PedlarsSpanner · 22/10/2013 22:56

does she read for pleasure?

Lozcat86 · 22/10/2013 22:58

I have a similar issue with my DSS who is 9. It frustrates the life out of me! He has his own full of toys here as opposed to sharing a small room with his brother (14) at his mums. He is currently obsessed with miencraft and only plays with toys if I suggest it repeatedly and ban the iPad for a while. Playing with toys lasts about 10 mins and he will only really play in lounge not in his bedroom. Think a lot of it is the need to be around us all the time for the attention?

Original poster

llynnnn · 22/10/2013 23:01

Thanks for the replies. She loves swimming and dancing and wants to start football after half term too.
If I sit and play with her she will play along for a bit,maybe 20 mins, but then I realise that she's really just watching me play rather than getting stuck in herself

She is a v good reader but doesn't read for pleasure. I have really tried to get her into several types of books but it's like she can't be bothered. TV is much easier/quicker I suppose!! We read her schoolbook together everyday, but that's more because she has to than for enjoyment!

OP posts:

wannabestressfree · 22/10/2013 23:02

Um I was like this. I used to want things, I remember specifically lionheart and grandma Care Bears but I opened them and put them on my shelf to look at. I think my Sunday house lasted three days before I got bored.

All I really wanted to do was read....

Original poster

llynnnn · 22/10/2013 23:03

Lozcat, yes I think she constantly craves attention too, if he tv isn't there to satisfy her.

OP posts:

LunaticFringe · 22/10/2013 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mollywashup · 22/10/2013 23:06

I have two sons the eldest played with every toy we bought him the youngest never bothered with toys would only build with lego if i was helping him, agree with Lozcat think he prefers to be round us than in his own bedroom

Canthisonebeused · 22/10/2013 23:08

My dd 7 has not played with toys for a very very long time. She can entertain her self drawing and reading and writting and imaginary games but mostly she listens to music, You tubes dances and songs and bumbles around the house. She doesn't every play on the wii or ds though and very rarely plays games on iPad or iPod. She just seems to be doing stuff though.

I'm not sure what to suggest other than maybe suggesting other things to do not involving toys and encourage her to go it alone for a bit once you have set her up with some thing.

Luckypaws · 22/10/2013 23:12

Some people prefer company to being alone.

Perhaps she want's the toys to 'do' something? I got bored of toys, I often found it boring playing on my own.

I liked chemistry sets and baking though...things where you could actually make something happen rather than just moving a sindy doll round the bedroom floor on your own.

Perhaps she is looking for more interesting things to do?

Canthisonebeused · 22/10/2013 23:12

The reading thing I can relate to. During the summer holidays my dd would never have picked a book up if not encouraged, which is unusual for her. So I began to not turn the tv on or if it was on turn it off for an hour before bed and get her to read out loud and to her self for the whole hour. She did it mostly but found it difficult. It seems she just lost interest in books all of a sudden, though she has got that back since being back at school. I'm not sure if it's a good idea to force or encourage reading as it could possibly be counter productive. But could you read together at forts to maybe foster that interest and see if it catches on with her.

Luckypaws · 22/10/2013 23:15

Learning magic tricks were good.

Could you get her a magic set? Would she be interested in learning simple tricks?

runningonwillpower · 22/10/2013 23:15

My son was like this. Very clever but not imaginative. He needed constant stimulation but couldn't find it within his own imagination.

I never ever found the toy that worked for him. And I did try.

He either hung around us for entertainment or I gave in and let him watch movies (which he loved) or play computer games.

He eventually found books.

He's worked out fine.

We're not all the same.

YoureBeingADick · 22/10/2013 23:17

My ds is 8 and he is the same, even if its raining out and ive turned tv and playstation off he will just read in his room even though he has lots of toys that he asked for! I always remember playing barbies or drawing/making something. Ds never does.

Original poster

llynnnn · 22/10/2013 23:19

Thank you for all the replies, they are very useful.

I will keep trying to encourage her reading and read with her. We always do a bedtime story, but again that's with me at her side.

I think I'm desperate to find the thing that really sparks her interest and that she can spend time enjoying alone. With the best will in the world I don't have all day to spend entertaining her, what with a pt job, dd2 and housework etc. And I refuse to accept that TV is the only thing she will really be content with on her own

OP posts:

steppemum · 22/10/2013 23:21

dd1 is like this, she rarely gets toys out to play with, will only really play if someone comes round to play.

She is a really a people person, and likes company, she would rather just be hanging out where I am than go off and play.
ds and dd2 are both happy to play on their own.

dd1 does like to do craft stuff (sometimes) and draw (sometimes) and writ stories etc, but given a totally free choice she would sit still in front of TV - All. Day. Long. (not that we allow it)

She is actually very imaginative, and writes great stories, and can play happily with someone else, but she does not like playing on her own

Original poster

llynnnn · 22/10/2013 23:21

Runningonwillpower, that sounds very much like my dd!

OP posts:

drawsofdrawers · 22/10/2013 23:22

YABU

Do you think bill gates was fussed about toys?

kmc1111 · 22/10/2013 23:23

I lost interest in toys very early on. I had a very active imagination, but it was all in my head. I didn't need to act it out with dolls or similar. I have memories of being about 4 and being given a Barbie. Couldn't see the point of the thing, so 'play' pretty much consisted of moving the silly things legs so it was walking, and trying to convince myself that was in some way fun for me, because that's what seemed to be expected. For some kids toys are magical, for others they're just boring lumps of plastic.

I never really played alone. I was happy being alone, but would just daydream, which seemed to really bother my parents as I supposed it looked like I was just doing nothing all the time. I did like to read and write stories though, but I also liked TV and playing board games and other games with my parents. I liked actually interacting with people when I played, not sure that's such a bad thing tbh.

Don't try to force the issue. If playing with toys was fun for her, she'd be doing it without any prompting.

Original poster

llynnnn · 22/10/2013 23:23

Haha draws, very true!! Maybe I have he next big billionaire waiting in front of my tv

OP posts:

drawsofdrawers · 22/10/2013 23:26

You might! DH didn't have or like toys really. He did other stuff which he has now turned into a lucrative career.

We're all different!

runningonwillpower · 22/10/2013 23:37

IIynnnn - if your daughter is like my son, then save yourself a lot of time and money. Just accept things for what they are.

Why should anyone say how another person should be spending their time? Or enjoying themselves? It's not fun if that's not what you want to do.

Clearly endless tv or computer games isn't good. But intersperse that with time with you, inside and out, and keep on trying to find the interest that will spark. And it will be an interest, not a toy.

Original poster

llynnnn · 23/10/2013 19:56

Thank you for all your replies, I guess I get a bit hung up on the fact that it appears that 'all' children should play with toys in the traditional sense, but there is so much more available to children nowadays (ha I sound like my gran!) to spark their interest, as long as it's not ALL on tv!!

OP posts:

Rhubarbgarden · 23/10/2013 20:07

How about music? Perhaps she would like to learn to play an instrument?

cathpip · 23/10/2013 20:12

My ds is the same he is 5, he has no imaginative play past 5 mins, but loves computers being outside and looking at books. Have come to the conclusion that he is a science/computer nerd already, school have come to the same conclusion!

Flip