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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not think it's ok for adults to wee in the garden?

95 replies

Weeweegate · 22/10/2013 21:19

My father in law wees in my garden as does his brother, when they visit.

We don't have a downstairs toilet, just an upstairs one. It is not done when the toilet is occupied, they literally just go out the front door and wee rather than go upstairs. They're older (in their 70s) but not incapable of climbing the stairs by any means. They are from overseas and say this is common and acceptable behaviour in their country and nobody bats an eyelid about weeing in the garden. The uncle in law at least goes out the door and to one side (lucky neighbours) but FIL literally stands in the porch and pisses out.

I have made it abundantly clear that I find it absolutely unacceptable and disgusting, but they still do it, and think I'm uptight.

OP posts:

80sMum · 22/10/2013 22:58

Next time he visits, deadlock the front door so that it can't be opened from the inside. Perhaps that will fix him!

Topseyt · 22/10/2013 22:58

Very disrespectful. Were they never toilet trained as a children??

Honestly, there are certain things we all have to do properly in order to get along together. Toiletting in the correct place is high on that list.

Taking a piss out of the front door is an affront to common decency.

Original poster

Weeweegate · 22/10/2013 23:01

I do say anything - I say a lot, but am laughed at and ignored. I cannot stop them from coming to my house as they live in the overseas country and only come here once a year. It's the only time my DH gets to see his dad and uncle and I can't stop that because of the peeing, although it does piss me off (ha ha, not even funny. :( )

We live very rural and nobody would ever observe him doing this, but that's not the point.

He is not from a country much different to ours - he lives in a big house with several bathrooms. It may be more acceptable to pee when out in the garden, I don't know, but I'm relatively sure that actually going out of a house with a bathroom in it to pee outside in the garden is not the norm (as I said my hubby and his friends do not do this).

I know I'm making light of it but I actually find it so disrespectful, and worry that my garden is stinky.

OP posts:

ShriekingGnawer · 22/10/2013 23:03

Can you rig up some kind of electric fence style thing? He pees, his cock gets a shock?

magicberry · 22/10/2013 23:08

Keeps the foxes away apparently!

Topseyt · 22/10/2013 23:14

What would happen if the wind was blowing in the wrong direction, or changed when he was mid flow?? Then he would slash against his trouser legs, over his feet, or even in his own face (summary justice there perhaps).

zipzap · 22/10/2013 23:15

I'd stick a bucket of water next to the front door - next time he goes out to have a pee, I'd follow him and throw the water over him (well middle area rather than head) and so that it washes his pee away from him and the garden.

And if he complains then explain that in your country, when selfish oafish ignorant deliberately horrible people pee in the garden then it is common and acceptable to wash it away so that it doesn't cause problems killing the grass. And repeat every time he does it.

Bet your FIL doesn't come inside and wash his hands either - so probably ought to have a second bucket available ready to throw over his hands in lieu of them being washed too.

(I know that people on here are saying it's good for the grass but I thought that you were supposed to dilute pee if peed on grass otherwise it killed it? Or is that just dogs? Or an old wives tale that isn't true but I have just heard from my mum so many times that it never occurred to me it wasn't true. Am sure that I've seen alan titchmarsh say it too)

bundaberg · 22/10/2013 23:19

lock the front door so they can't go out

Onesleeptillwembley · 22/10/2013 23:20

Filthy bastards! I'd tell them that, and add that they are not welcome until they learn some respect for themselves and others and behave like adult humans in your home. Not even animals piss on their own doorstep.

EBearhug · 22/10/2013 23:54

My mother used to try and encourage any male visitors to pee on the compost heap. I don't think many took her up on it.

Coffeenowplease · 23/10/2013 00:00

God thats fucking vile.

Coffeenowplease · 23/10/2013 00:03

I think you went wrong by not saying when he did it the first time " What the fuck are you doing ? That is is disgusting. Never ever do that in my home again."

Coffeenowplease · 23/10/2013 00:04

Christ does your DP not object ?

Viviennemary · 23/10/2013 00:06

It's unheard of. Though I did read an organic gardening book once that said to sprinkle your compost with wee to help it rot down. I didn't try it. But I think they meant in a more civilised discreet way using a container.

Coffeenowplease · 23/10/2013 00:09

Im sorry for repeatedly posting... but.. but I just cant get over it. I really cant.

OP this is not meant to be a dig at you but why are you putting up with this shit (or piss in this case) ?

If anyone did this in my home/garden I would eject them promptly and they would not return until they had some manners. Family or not.

ThePuffyShirt · 23/10/2013 00:22

There is NO WAY they would be welcome in my house if they did this.

I wouldn't care how we were related or where in the world they hailed from.

Everytime I think I've heard it all on MN...

iggymama · 23/10/2013 00:26

As Mrs Brown would say - the dirty bastards!

Shame you have no neighbors that you could ask discreetly to phone the police to report fil for flashing. What sort of a man pulls out his knob and pisses in front of his dil, so disrespectful.

Heathcliff27 · 23/10/2013 00:31

YANBU, completely unacceptable for anyone to be pissing in the garden in this day and age! I'm with the electric febce idea, filthy fukrs

Heathcliff27 · 23/10/2013 00:32

*fence

AmandaHoldenmigroin · 23/10/2013 03:41

Strangely I posted a similar thread ages ago about how I found people peeing in the garden gross and everyone told me I was being unreasonable.

BearsBeetsBattlestarGalactica · 23/10/2013 04:15

Bet they are aussie.

I have been to many a bbq/drinking session over here where the blokes piss in the garden. They generally do it on the far side of the back garden though, not out of the front door.

EmilyAlice · 23/10/2013 05:32

Very common here in rural France. Nobody ever asks to use a loo even in a five hour lunch / dinner party and the men pee outside.
My OH pees on the compost bin, but that is for scientific reasons.

CharityFunDay · 23/10/2013 05:46

Well, he's a relative and it would be a shame to fall out over something that is, at root, harmless.

Have you got a back garden, where your neighbours can't see?

Perhaps he should do it there, if he really can't resist peeing al fresco.

If you would find that acceptable, that is, and you would of course be the judge of what's acceptable on your own premises.

SanityClause · 23/10/2013 05:58

I am Australian, and have never known any man to stand in the front door and pee out into the garden!

Peeing behind a bush at a barbecue when a lot of alcohol had been consumed, perhaps, but certainly not what the OP has described.

LilBlondePessimist · 23/10/2013 06:03

I'm in Australia and NO ONE I know does this. If I was held a garden party/BBQ and someone did this I'd call them a putrid fucker and immediately eject them. Likewise if it happened at someone else's house, if they weren't asked to leave, I would. Never heard the likes, it's rude and foul - if a women did it she would be asked if she was on glue!?!

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