I have been MNing for 2 hours. There is not enough sex on here

[ghostonthecanvas]

So I am going to have to get on with my housework. I am shocked that a newspaper would mislead me and waste my time.

Seriously? A post mentioning the messiah and I get dry humped by Jesus straight after!!. Actually snorted out my spicy rum
Hope Tarquin enjoyed his story and you never breathed all those alcohol fumes over him

I hope it was a dry hump...... well I would've preferred no humping but that's more between me and DH..........

Sorry ghostonthecanvas -
I'm far too drunk, sexually, frustrated and bored to give you a full response.

I need to post on Facebook about how my son Tarquin is the messiah.

Fucking hell - as if the people who spend all their time commenting on the daily mail aren't complete cunts themselves!

That is SO UNTRUE. And my son Peregrine, who is a prophet, agrees with me. Now where's my ethanol?

I'M the messiah! ghost you should be honoured.

Well obviously you are the messiah cos one mention of your name and there you are. Miraculously. Oi! I better not be pregnant. My husband is no carpenter. Come to think of it, I'm no virgin either. Which is why I am on mumsnet. Dirty bangle that I am.

Peregrine the prophet should have warned me about you