to buy bic "for her" pens in that hope that DH will stop taking all the biros in the house?

[timeforahaircut]

DH is apparently incapable of leaving a biro in the house. I buy packs of 20 at a time and I have no idea what he does with them. (I suspect his desk at work must have a biro mountain on top of it as they never re-appear at home). I have said many, many times to him that I have left some in specifically useful places such as next to the phone and that he should not take those. I supply him with several straight out of the packet and ask that he not take the ones by the phone/door/in my handbag etc. It makes no difference.

Last night was typical. He spent most of the evening on the phone (not in itself an issue, they were important calls). During that he took 3 biros that I saw, (1 from phone, 1 from letter rack, 1 from my handbag) lost them over the course of the evening and then has the cheek mid-conversation to gesture frantically at me for a pen.

This morning the only pens in the house that I can find are the DC's colouring ones.

Having seen them on a "funny Amazon reviews" thread, I am now seriously considering buying a box of "Bic for her" biros and declaring them to be mine and mine only.

Do I buy them and hope that the awful pastel lids will make DH keep his thieving hands off them or do I just accept that I need to buy 20 biros a week and still be biro-less 80% of the time?

It's a small thing but it's driving me nuts. Even the biro from my diary is missing from the pen loop thingy today, I guess that's the one he took from my handbag last night. If I took a pen from his work bag I would put it back, why won't he?

Electrify the pens?

For the stress ;-)

What about a jumbo pen? Like this

www.amazon.co.uk/Ardisle-Novelty-Masive-Gadget-Stocking/dp/6040244143/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1382444754&sr=8-2&keywords=jumbo+pens

You can often get versions in tourist shops. Not so easy to walk off with .

Thanks for making me laugh. Have no useful advice. But you have made me laugh. :-))

PLEASE don't chew pens, its not good for you.

I know someone that uses pens as a sex toy.

After knowing that I can no longer chew a pen, even if I know its unlikely they have been there.

time for a haircut:

"I also don't actually want to hide pens. [...] If I have to act like a child then it's not much of a marriage. maybe it isn't."

This is really interesting to me.
I am coming to the sad conclusion that my willingness to short-circuit problems by trying to make myself independent of them is actually damaging our relationship.

I used to think that "who cares if we don't share x, y, z, because we love each other and that is what counts".
My strategies were based on a principle that you can't change a person's behaviour, but you can reduce its cost to you. You can either not care that it costs (accept that you put more unacknowledged labour into the house); or limit the costs (have your own, hidden resources of things that otherwise cause constant inconvenience). I can't afford to not care, much as I would like to, my personal resources are stretched to breaking point. So I hide things. And insist on an unusual and perhaps detrimental level of personal independence with some things.

I have unwillingly started to feel that all these things, which I thought do not matter, perhaps do. Perhaps I should be more like you and have higher standards - actually try to make him respect me, listen to me, and become someone I really trust and am really comfortable with.

I am not sure if it is possible though.

Nothing constructive to add but you have made me laugh at the thought of an undiscovered cavern of stolen pens hiding in your house waiting to ambush you

We have the same issue I am very protective over my favourite pens so I get narky when they go for a walk, but then DH is very particular about where the toothpaste lives and I often absentmindedly relocate that so we're probably even.

yourtoastmildred you sound very sad, I hope things are ok for you.

I bought a pink toolbox with pink tools to stop DH nicking mine. It didn't work. He still borrows them and doesnt put them back. When we get a garden shed I'm buying a padlock and keeping the key on my chain.

I have a lacquer circuit board pen, sort of ultimate indelible sharpie.

I name special pens and woe betide any DD caught with one in their possession.

Fortunately said marker goes straight through paper, so is the one pen they don't nick.

Get a Pen Lanyard for each member of the family :)

Get one of those pens with pink fluffy shit on the end of it.

I doubt he'd want to use it then.

I buy the pens to try and ensure I have a pen, not to enable his behaviour - that's my intention anyway, the end result is clearly not as I wish.

DH works away quite often and I do find that things are tidier and easier when it's just me, though people always assume it must be harder when I have the DC on my own. I have more "me" time when he's away and in a more pleasant and tidier environment.

I do like the oversized gadget pen idea. The situation is mildly ridiculous, so that type of pen may be the appropriate answer.

Youretoastmildred - I don;t have the answer either. Your strategy certainly has its merits and is often recommended. I suppose it comes down, like most things, to what you think is going to make you happiest in the long term.

I tie mine on a long piece of sparkly elastic secured with lots of hologram tape and one end taped firmly under the hall table so anyone using the phone can use it bit can't absent mindedly take it away.same for the one by the kitchen calendar and by the shopping list magnetised to t he fridge... all securely attached then I have a pencil case full hidden if anyone really needs one they have to ask.

AShowerofbastards, I am ok! Don't worry I am just confused about relationships and stuff.

timeforahaircut, on another thread I stood up for a mother keeping special chocolate for herself. My argument was mothers love their children and do everything in their power to make them comfortable; children love their mothers back but do not have the wherewithal to make their mothers comfortable, so it is the mother's job to provide her own treats. It is kind of making me sad to see that this applies to dps as well, really; you can't look to them for consideration, if you want comfort you arrange it for yourself.

www.amazon.co.uk/Reception-Chain-Stand--Counter-Refills/dp/B006Y7UK2G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382447538&sr=8-1&keywords=pens+on+chains - even has free delivery!

and a sticky pad on the bottom! I might have to do this, just to make my point! Thank you blackbelt!

OP, yes, I didn't mean to imply that you deliberately enable it, but exactly what you say –that that's what the end result is.

It is a bit of a bind. But perhaps it's worth trying having your 'own' pen and not buying household ones, if it's pissing you off this much.

There's nothing wrong with having your own things. I think the poster who said it is the first nail in the coffin of the marriage is really wrong.
We have our own rooms. It's great. I would have killed him before now if we hadn't.
We have been together for 26 years. Hopefully will be together a bit longer too.

Nail polish. Lots of it. Paint the biro's with sparkly pink nail polish, the glittery kind. He won't steal them, you can be certain of it!!

Great, thanks KittenSoft! I will stop worrying then. Great to hear that!

LTB?