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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

With regard to dh's family

40 replies

thegreylady · 21/10/2013 23:32

Later this year dh and I are celebrating our Silver Wedding. It will also be an early 70th birthday celebration for me. We have booked a YHA hostel in a lovely place and all our families and friends were invited.
The problem is that some of dh's nephews and nieces have accepted for them selves and their adult children So invitations for 8 have produced acceptances from 18 and I don't know what to do.
I have no sibs and have invited my cousins with separate invites for their adult children. Dh had one sister who died before we were married. We have had little contact with her 5 children (Christmas cards at best). However the invitations, sent to these people have caused them to say eg: " There will be 8 of us coming" and "There will be 5 of us."
Dh is as fed up as I am yet we feel we can't say no to them. The hostel can accommodate them but it means that out of 50 guests 18 will be one extended family group who I hardly know. What do you think we could/ should do?

OP posts:
enriquetheringbearinglizard · 23/10/2013 11:36

thegreylady
Congrats on your forthcoming anniversary. Although this huge gathering isn't what you planned it all sounds like it's going to be great and will work out for the best.
I've got nothing to add to the great suggestions above, but I would say again, just circulate exactly what you're providing and what you're not providing, just so everyone knows exactly what they will have to provide or pay for themselves, that way there's absolutely no fall out if someone turns up empty handed and no money (you just never know)

poocatcherchampion · 23/10/2013 11:37

it sounds fab! have a great time.

verytellytubby · 23/10/2013 11:57

Sounds brilliant fun.

Original poster
thegreylady · 23/10/2013 19:30

It is all paid for now so if someone comes empty handed they will still be welcome.We have been saving odd bits of cash we have earned to pay for the food and we bought the booze when we were a bit flush earlier this year.meeting up with dd and our dear friends tomorrow to finalise whats what with food and we will then put it aside until the day.

OP posts:
PicaK · 23/10/2013 21:09

I know it's not what you planned...but I think it's actually quite a nice way to celebrate. You're allowing that family to get together in a way they perhaps haven't in the past. You don't what arguments about who goes where at X, or who does what on what day you have alleviated in that family because they're meeting up at yours.
Even in they sit clanishly in a corner, you should be proud at giving them the opportunity to get together. Iykwim.

Original poster
thegreylady · 24/10/2013 09:50

Pica what a lovely way to put it. I think you are right that they are seeing it as a chance for their family to get together. I felt a bit resentful as it has really screwed up the room allocations but there are 18 of them and I will allocate 18 beds which they can sort out as they wish :)

OP posts:
springylippy · 24/10/2013 12:02

oh this sounds wonderful OP!

People usually cry off family events - what a compliment that everyone wants to come!

btw ime of staying with a huge crowd in a YH, I slept soundly in a room with two babies who, apparently, cried at regular intervals throughout the night. Didn't hear a thing! Maybe the event (lovely), the fresh (sea) air etc did the trick. Whatever, the event had such a lovely feel to it that everyone was very cheerful throughout.

Sounds like a similar flavour to your event, you lucky thing Smile

Original poster
thegreylady · 02/01/2014 18:48

Update :)
The party was on Sunday and was sheer magic. Everyone came, everyone contributed and it was wonderful. There were the little matters of the security alarm going off on Saturday and the fire alarm on Sunday morning but all was well.

OP posts:
nitrox · 02/01/2014 19:24

Sounds amazing, well done for being so flexible and welcoming to everyone!

JockTamsonsBairns · 02/01/2014 19:32

Oh, that's wonderful news! I was wondering how it went. Congratulations to you both Flowers

Original poster
thegreylady · 02/01/2014 20:28

The fire alarm went off because ds and dsil decide to cook breakfast for 50. The extracor fan disn't work so the alarm went off. We had jangling alarm followed by fire engine with flashing lights and husky blokes. One of our guests who shall be nameless said,"I thought they'd be strippers!" Yes sure, N...at 8.30 on a December Sunday morning :)

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 02/01/2014 20:36

thegreylady It sounds lovely, and I hope you and your DH have a lovely time Thanks

FryOneFatManic · 02/01/2014 20:38

I'm half asleep, that'll teach me to read everything before posting.

Still, sounds like it went okay (apart from the little mishap of a fire alarm...) Grin

Goldmandra · 02/01/2014 20:47

That's a lovely result!

I'm so glad your negative turned into such a positive Grin

flyingspaghettimonster · 02/01/2014 20:52

Sounds wonderful! Happy birthday too!

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