To find it odd that MIL stands right over me when bfding

[fibrecruncher]

I find it really claustophobic!! She literally comes over and stands infront or sits right next to me and stares. I know she's just admiring her darling grandson but it really drives me nuts!! Anyone else had this experience? I am not sure if there is a delicate way for me to tell her to back off...

MissMUesli you didn't fail miserably, you tried and it didn't work for you and you probably had shit support.

OP, I'd think that was weird too, but it probably is just goofy baby adoration. MILs get like that. Neither my DM nor my MIL ever got in my face while I fed (neither of them could due to shit support) but they did constantly want to adore the DDs. Even when they were asleep.

Also agree with Creature It's nice in a way that she feels comfortable.

Can't help thinking if we want to normalise breastfeeding and get more women doing it, we need to lighten up in this kind of situation.

FIL has always done it and it really creeped me out. I am far better at doing it so he can't see anything now but with DC1 as a newborn I had to go upstairs in the bedroom, with stacks of books to raise my feet as I perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed giving myself neck ache for hours on end. Because he would not back off when I was feeding.

I'd feel a bit more comfortable saying something now, but back then I hardly knew him and wanted to not annoy him at all! And now I know that it's (probably!) not him perving or anything - he just has no sense of appropriate behaviour.

My MIL did this but she did ask if I was OK with it. She had BF all of her DS until they were well into their second year back in the 60s when BF wasn't really the done thing. She was incredibly supportive when I extended BF to nearly 2yrs particularly when other inlaws were very judgy. It hasn't always been an easy relationship but that bit was lovely.

My mum used to ask to sit next to us and try to make DS smile/laugh while he was feeding but
Little weirdos haha

She's probably remembering when she feed her babies apart from admiring get dc.

Just drape a shawl across your shoulder if you are really bothered.

Iamsparklyknickers that is hilarious.

I don't mind bfding infront of family and friends its just the sheer proximity.

And yes she did bf, fine DS1 some probs with DS2.

Oh god, mine too. And also with the kissing of the baby and the headstroking. Luckily this all gets on DD's nerves more than mine and she tends to screw her face up or pull off and glare which gets the point across.

MissMueslI - I'm a bit like that, although I was fortunate and managed to breastfeed. I just get all soppy and wistful. Tbh I'm the sane watching a baby take a bottle - it's a lovely thing, a baby being all snuggley and content.

I also wonder if the mil is just overdoing making you feel ok about bfing in front of her, OP.

My MIL was a bit like this, but she was definitely trying to make me feel comfortable and over doing it.

She's sit next to me and go on and on about how 'natural' it all was and was never happy until the whole room was staring at me. "Ooo look FIL isn't Toucan doing well!!"

She was only trying to be nice, but it drove me batty. I just wanted to sit quietly and get on with it, not draw everyones' attention to me.

I'm still breast feeding now, but because DD is older the need to do it when out and about is all but gone.

It took me ages to get started with BF (DS wouldn't latch and I had to cup feed) but when I finally managed it, she came over on a visit and actually touched my boob when I was breastfeeding! I think she was trying to help. She met myself and some of my NCT friends for lunch and stood over them watching and giving lots of unhelpful advice. I had to apologise profusely for her. In her culture it's considered normal. When SIL was breastfeeding she used to go into her room and 'help' her. Unfortunately DS stopped taking the breat around the time we were in Italy visiting and I think the lack of privacy put us both off.

My in laws were weird about breastfeeding, they used to send me upstairs to watch TV while I was doing it. As my mil was an incredible pain in the bum (she used to talk to me through the baby in a baby voice), long after I had stopped BF I used to pop up there to watch Eastenders with him (having given him his bottle beforehand).

DM used to do this. She'd flap around waving muslins in front of me or trying to tuck them over my shoulder if I was feeding in public because she thought that I wouldn't want to draw attention to myself. Yes, there's nothing like a woman with a very loud voice waving things around to help with that.

She also used to start trying to stuff food into my mouth, or hold a drink up to my lips, and would go off onto an I'm Only Trying To Help And Do What's Best For You monologue if I objected.

My BIL actually tried to film me doing it on his new christmas camcorder one year. Somewhere there must be a film of me hissing "fuck off you creepy bastard" over the baby's head.

Love the idea of squirting her try and get it square in the eye

Well disapproving looks would be far worse, sorry for op that had that experience :)