To wonder why some women lie to their husbands about what they buy?

[KenAdams]

Why would you need to lie about it?

Bit of a vague post but I would imagine to avoid disputes over money.

Same reasons some men lie to their wives about what they buy.

To avoid being punched in the face?

Sorry. Was talking to a friend about her new dress the other day and she said that she'd bought three but told her husband they were old ones. I've known other friends to do it too. No men though, but then again I doubt they would confide in me if they did.

When I do it's normally to save the extra money to buy his birthday/christmas gift.

I think ive only ever lied to dh when it has been a present for him

or will just tell him not to check the online banking with a wink.

however

some women might be financially abused and if their husband knew it could cause a lot of issues.

I have also used the 'well its cheaper to buy a new pair of shoes than to get tye old ones reheeled' line though

Im single- i have to lie to myself about what ive spent. Sometimes i lie to the cat about what brand her food is. Fussy mare

she feels guilty about spending too much money and knew her husband would probably be wondering where they had the money for 3 dresses personally I think people who buy things and say oh thats old or whatever have a problem m with spending and know they are spending without their means, my sister does it but she hides it from my mum

outwith* I meant outwith their means

some women might be financially abused and if their husband knew it could cause a lot of issues.

you are right it isn't all about just over spending

Sometimes I'm a bit economical with the truth about what I've bought and DH is the same.

We both don't think what the other buys is necessarily worth the money/what we'd spend money on. Theres not much point discussing it or having an argument over it so we just keep each other sweet about it I guess.

Because they're hiding a secret mountain of debt.

Because they're spending above and beyond an agreed budget.

Because they, for whatever reason, feel or know they can't really justify spending the amount they have.

Because they feel guilty.

Because their partners are controlling and financially abusive.

Take your pick.

TBF my husband is a moaning faced scrooge and my haircut cost me a tenner for years it just wasn't worth him moaning about hairdressers robbing us blind he would cut my hair if he could get away with it

I lie by default (in that I buy and don't mention it) about what I spend all the time. I have no idea why. DH is genuinely not concerned about how much I spend, or on what but I seems to be my default and I guess because he wouldn't be concerned if I told the truth I don't see it as deceitful.

I bought four pairs of shoes yesterday which I snuck up the stairs and into my wardrobe and I'll bring them out in due course and almost certainly claim I've had them ages!

I don't lie about what I buy but I do on occasion lie about how much things cost...my DH panics about money most of the time and Can be very moody when I spend money (regardless of how much) and after 9 years of this constant bickering over money I find it easier to say something cost £10 instead of £15... I also deal with all of our incomings and outgoings as he obsesses about how little we may or may not have...

It sounds worse than it is in reality...

I'm not sure I lie but I don't always run in and say "look what I got today!". Not for any dark reason, it's just a bit embarrassing as I have Too Much Stuff. I am planning a clear out at the weekend though. He also doesn't like shopping/buying stuff so thinks I am a bit excessive but I'm not necessarily compared to some people. We do laugh about it though!

I've no debt, have my own money but its a knee jerk reaction. I often pride myself on being economical and this would go against that. Also we have a small flat and I own a LOT of clothes!

its wrong but if a woman is a sahp and the h is the earner then there is often a comment about spending the money. there shouldn't be and as long as it's not outside a fairly agreed family and household budget then that would receive a resounding fuck off from me but many people don't feel able to say so.

although in our house I am the worrier about money, I never buy anything if I can help it, I can't bear spending it always feels like waste, and I know dh lies about what he spends on lunch at work but I can't justify his spend in my head if I know it and he won't spend less even though he should

Financially abusive relationship. Lied about purchases for years since the interrogational and anger got too stressful. Its a reflex action now.

Either:

Their husbands are controlling about money

Or:

They have developed an unnecessary guilt about spending (which could be due to many causes)

The answer in either case is to have allocated "spending money", equal amounts for each partner, which can be spent freely with no comments or repercussions or guilt.

All money being joint sounds lovely but if you have even slightly different attitudes to money you can end up feeling guilty for spending or feeling resentful over the other person spending.

My DH isn't controlling and I don't have any guilt, we also don't have any debt.

Just DH will think you spent how much on hair/make up or interiors type stuff and I will think you spent whaaaat on football/sports tickets or car bits.

I would never deny him anything he wanted and vice versa just I don't think DH could enjoy a cushion knowing it cost £80 and I'd probably not think the sporting event was that good if I knew the total cost.

I don't understand either but DH and I are quite tight and more likely to brag about what we save than what we spend.

Trills makes a good point - I definitely have guilt about spending, not in relation to DH but unidentifies third parties. It just manifests itself in relation to him.

I do feel ashamed that I spend so feely - I don't have to watch the pennies and I have far more than I could possibly need so I struggle with the idea that I spend more on clothes than many people earn in a month. but not enough to actually stop spending which in turn makes me feel even more guilty