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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU - SS age 7 allowed out on his own ....

33 replies

boobyooby · 21/10/2013 16:55

Just collected skids from school for their overnight stay and this is the second time the 7 yr old has told me he is allowed to go to his local park with 2 other friends at weekends with his mum.

It isn't far from where he lives although he does need to cross the road but I am being "old-fashioned" thinking 7 is a bit young to be unsupervised? I know I wouldn't let him go to the park round the corner from ours alone ......

OP posts:

MoaningMingeWhingesAgain · 21/10/2013 16:58

lots of seven year olds go to the park on their own round here.

I have a nearly 7yo who won't be going on their own for a good while yet.

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 21/10/2013 17:00

YABU- I understand your concerns but if the park is nearby and he's with friends then I don't see the harm. Kids used to have a lot more freedom than they do nowadays. I do think we see danger on every corner but they need the freedom to run around, explore and take 'risks' without adults hovering all the time.

Onebuddhaisnotenough · 21/10/2013 17:00

Skids is a vile term.

Yabu. If you think he is being neglected/put at risk why doesn't he live with you ?

Original poster

boobyooby · 21/10/2013 17:10

sorry, thought skid was an official "shortcut" :( I don't even use the term step when we are out, I just have 4 kids (and some grey hair appearing lol)

OK, I won't say anything - I guess it's my call when they are here if I am happy or not to let them out on their own and not worry when they aren't here. Obviously I am also taking what a 7 year old has said, it might not even be the case they are on their own, and last time he said they had to run home as some older kids were mean to them ..... think it just played on my mind!

OP posts:

fairy1303 · 21/10/2013 17:10

Skids is a completely standard abbreviation - it is not a 'vile term'

It is also not as simple as 'why doesn't he live with you' - come on now.

OP, to answer your question, I think it depends on the child, area etc. One 7 year old in one area I would say shouldn't be let out, another I think would be fine.

I have just started letting my 8 year old DSD walk to the park (across the green opposite our house) , with a friend.

HOWEVER, and I'm saying this kindly - I don't think you can really comment - what he does at his mums is up to him. We have no jurisdiction over DSD when she stays at her mums - even as the resident parents. It's part and parcel of it and I think 7 is on the borderline - it is personal choice.

livinginwonderland · 21/10/2013 17:14

YABU, I don't see it as an issue. I used to go to the park down the road with friends from about that age. One road to cross but it had zebra crossings and lights and we were well-versed on road safety.

If his mum has decided it's fine, it's not really your place to say anything. Plenty of 7 year olds go to the park alone :)

Original poster

boobyooby · 21/10/2013 17:23

Oh I posted on here for some advice first, purely because I try not to comment on anything that isn't my business and vice versa from their mum. Damned if you do, damned if you don't ...... 7 is probably right on the cusp of them wanting to be more independent!

I guess I also have the luxury of having two older children to help watch the two younger so I don't have to make that call.

OP posts:

Justforlaughs · 21/10/2013 17:24

I think it depends on where they live and whether there are other issues. Eg. I can think of places where I would not be thrilled at the idea of a 7 yo going out unsupervised by an adult, and IF I knew that he was cooking his own tea, looking after a younger siblings for hours at a time etc, etc, then I would be concerned. (Doesn't sound like this is the case here) Where I live, I would be more than happy for a 7 yo to go to the park with friends. As a stand alone thing I don't think it's a problem. Concentrate on making sure they are safe and happy when they are with you. Don't risk calling a breech with DP's ex over a minor deal.

Onebuddhaisnotenough · 21/10/2013 17:28

Op no worries. Luckily It's really only seen as acceptable by a small number of people who post on step parenting on MN in general. Not something that people would dare to yse IRL about any child.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 21/10/2013 17:29

YANBU. I used to go to the park with friends years and years ago when I was about 8 or 9 but I certainly would not have let my DS go when he was 7.(Also I don't think any of his friends would have been allowed out either.) Times have changed!

morethanpotatoprints · 21/10/2013 17:31

We have a park across the road from us, no way did I ever or shall I ever let mine go even with friends until secondary age.
In my opinion it isn't safe there.

Original poster

boobyooby · 21/10/2013 17:39

Maybe I should have just asked as if it was my 7yr old, rather than mention being a stepchild.

OP posts:

fairy1303 · 21/10/2013 17:41

DSC is generally better but I personally have never seen anyone have an issue with Skids before ;)

But then I do often post in step parenting so maybe I have been indoctrinated!

Justforlaughs · 21/10/2013 17:49

I'd never heard of "skids" before (well not in this context anyway ), I thought it was typo tbh. Maybe "SKids" would be look better. or "DSKids"

midlandslurker · 21/10/2013 18:22

My oldest DS is now 27 and it was quite the norm to start going to the local park or "play out" on your own aged 6/7.

Fast forward 15 years and I got A few strange looks when I allowed DS2 to do the same thing at the same age - it definitely wasn't the norm to be allowed out alone at that age.

DS3 is only 3 so it'll be a few years before he'll be going out alone,but I fully expect,that by then his peers wont be allowed out alone until they are at least 23 !!

I can fully understand parents not allowing children out if the local park is used by the local drug addicts to score etc but there is no more danger for children today than in the past.

pixiepotter · 21/10/2013 18:45

I think as long as he is going there with friends and only in the daytime(ie not the evening) then it is fine.Very good for them!

theoriginalandbestrookie · 21/10/2013 18:50

What age were the other children?

If they were older, then fine, if all 7, I'd have reservations. DS plays out as well and he is 7, but we live in a cul de sac with no roads to cross, all neighbours know who he is and his friend lives next door.

Original poster

boobyooby · 21/10/2013 19:25

All 3 boys were 7 (think this is why I wasn't sure, plus the older kids being nasty last week), they all live within walking distance to each other and go to school together. I can't imagine it was evening, he is here in bed asleep now and even on a weekend is tucked up no later than 8pm!

Of course for all I know, one of the other parent's house may overlook the park, and now I've thought about it, it's location is probably for just the residents to use, as opposed one you would drive to and use.

Thanks all

OP posts:

Caitlin17 · 21/10/2013 19:31

My 7 year old was allowed to go to local parks and shops with friends at .7

ILetHimKeep20Quid · 21/10/2013 19:35

Completely normal. Mine has just turned 8, goes to park and shops and school in his bike alone.

TheBrotherhoodOfSteel · 21/10/2013 19:44

That's nothing my step kids have been roaming the streets since they were in nappies! We've contacted social services but they are overloaded with cases like this in their area. We must ring them every few months or so but nothing ever gets done.

MammaTJ · 21/10/2013 20:36

I let my 7 year old out to play. There are people who let their 4 year olds out to play where we live.

UniS · 21/10/2013 20:41

My 7 year old is wanting to be a bit more independent, he walks to his friends house, walks part way to school on his own and sometimes goes to or from the park on his own. Its all part of his growing up.

IsabelleRinging · 21/10/2013 20:47

never heard SKIDS before, I think it is quite cute though.

IsabelleRinging · 21/10/2013 20:48

7 too young to go to the park alone.

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