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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I? I dont think so

46 replies

mariomadmum · 21/10/2013 14:48

Hi, i want to know if IABU re a night out..

basically me and a friend have planned a night out for saturday, we planned it weeks ago. today she texts me and says she has invited her boyfriend and his friend do i mind? i said honestly, yes.
i dont get out much at all was really lookin forward to it just being me and her, her and her BF havent been together long so they are always all over each other and although she wont mean to i know i will end up being ignored.
so anyway i tell her this and she says "aww ok shall we re arrange for another time then?"
so shes goin to go out with her boyfriend and not me even though WE planned it.
I feel so angry!
AIBU?

OP posts:

diddl · 21/10/2013 17:22

Is she a teenager & it's her first boyfriend?

If not-dump her!

Jeez, can't she go out with you & her boyfriend go out with his friend?

Then they could meet up at the end of the evening/spend the night together.

specialmagiclady · 21/10/2013 17:27

Maybe she wants you to meet him and approve him etc(which can be a fun activity). In which case he can come along at the end when you are pissed and leery have had a chance to catch up.

Original poster

mariomadmum · 21/10/2013 17:48

she text back saying she can't unask him cuz she'l look stupid and he will think I don't like him.. wtf? she said she thought it would be fun for us to all go out together and she didn't mean to make me feel pushed out.

OP posts:

Original poster

mariomadmum · 21/10/2013 18:06

I'm not goin to bother texting back, hopefully she will realise how UR she's being.
if not oh well.

OP posts:

spindlyspindler · 21/10/2013 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff · 21/10/2013 21:34

This happened to me!

It was a.night out with a friend I had known since I was 3 and her work colleague

We got ready at friends and went to the first club. 10 minutes in 2 lads come over. Apparently they met them the weekend before and invited them out with us!

That's right, I was a Fifth wheel. She knew I hadn't been out in at least a year and saved up for this night.

They were all over each other. I did say wtf is going on. I got 'oh didn't think you would mind, I can ask him to bring a mate out for you'

I declined, got pissed while they snogged each other. Then they rang me a taxi and they went to the fellas place!

diaimchlo · 21/10/2013 21:42

She is being VVVVVU Just wait til they break up she will be texting you asking for a catch up!!!!!!!

"Oh dear sorry can't make it got a friend that is reliable!"

Viviennemary · 21/10/2013 21:49

That is just a rotten cheek. How dare she! Selfish. Good for you for saying no.

FunnyRunner · 21/10/2013 21:49

YANBU.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 21/10/2013 22:34

SP,etc that's a terrible story! Are you still friends? I hope not.

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff · 21/10/2013 22:56

No, she went back to her controlling fella the week after and isn't allowed contact with me. I'm a bad influence apparently?!

Me?!

beitou · 21/10/2013 23:09

Ap etc kick him in the bollocks and ask him how controlling that feels?

SPsTombRaidingWithCliff · 21/10/2013 23:12

I would do but he won't be within 100's of feet of me after the last time we met.

Cityofgold · 21/10/2013 23:15

YABU. She obviously didn't know it was supposed to be just you and her, you organised it weeks ago and your friend is just adding to the group. You were looking forward to it being just the two of you, but clearly hadn't told her that or made it clear that was part of the plan - if you had she wouldn't have invited her BF. She wants her BF to come out with you both, she likes her BF and wants to spend time with him and you. What is the problem? It is you being the selfish one in insisting the night has to be exactly the way you want it.

LindyHemming · 21/10/2013 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissMuesli · 21/10/2013 23:24

Are you single? Is she trying to matchmake??

Caitlin17 · 22/10/2013 00:49

YANBU.

NotYoMomma · 22/10/2013 01:03

I would probably say thats how some women end up with no girlfriends

Kafri · 22/10/2013 01:18

I was thinking what muesli said... Is she matchmaking.

How new is the boyf. I've got friends who've done this while relationships have been brand new and then commented much later how daft they were to dump their girlfriends for a guy. We've just tended to brush it off when it's happened bit there has generally been a group of four of us meaning if anyone jibbed there was still a few left.

She has been U and is being U still by not being willing to un ask him now she knows how you feel. She should honour her first plans.

Could you not arrange another night out with her fella and tell her to explain that this ones a girls night but he's welcome to come to the new one.

SamHamwidge · 22/10/2013 01:23

She is being very annoying and that kind of behaviour would lead me to question the friendship.

However not sure if much can be gained from asking her to stick to the original plan now. There'll be a stilted atmosphere and she will probably act like she'd rather be elsewhere.

Sinful1 · 22/10/2013 03:29

Was she trying to set you up with his friend

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