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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be shocked at this

91 replies

Grennie · 21/10/2013 12:09

I went on a long haul flight. There was a mum there with two children aged about 8 and 12 years of age. She settled the two children into seats in economy and then went to her lie down bed in first class.

Both DP and I were shocked that someone would do this. We all fly economy. But if we were going to pay for first class, we would not separate children and adults.

So AIBU?

OP posts:
MidniteScribbler · 22/10/2013 03:48

I wouldn't do it. I actually like spending time with my child and holidays include travelling to the destination. Those hours on a plane are actually time we can watch a movie together, or do puzzles or colouring in, or just have a cuddle and sleep. I could never imagine myself sending him off to the back of the plane while I hang out in first class.

And I'll be honest and say that if I were sitting next to a parent that dropped their kids off in the seat then swanned off to first class, I wouldn't help those kids out with anything. They can go annoy their parent every time they want something or can't figure out how to work something.

cory · 22/10/2013 07:50

Midnite, why would these children need any looking after from other passengers- can't the 12yo do that? Why would he be less able to work out how something works than an adult passenger or less able to ask the airhostess like any adult passenger?

A 12yo is somebody who in his ordinary life is probably used to making his own way to secondary school, travelling on public transport on his own, going to the cinema on his own etc. My just-turned 13yo flew abroad on his own in the summer: we did pay the airline to make sure he caught the right plane but from what I gathered they didn't even consider that necessary at his age. After all, he is perfectly capable of catching the right bus or train at home. And would be well capable of looking after a younger sibling.

Colouring in and cuddling are lovely things, but you're thinking of much younger children. I don't know how you'd get a 12yo to do them (at least not cuddle in public).

livinginwonderland · 22/10/2013 07:56

Kids don't really need to sit in first class. They're not tall enough to need the extra legroom and they're hardly going to care about free champagne or slightly fancier meals. At 8 and 12, they're perfectly capable of sitting in economy on their own. It's not like they can wander off on a plane Grin

livinginwonderland · 22/10/2013 07:58

Also, why does a 12 year old need to be taken care of, mimi? They're perfectly old enough to look after themselves and to ask a stewardess for help if necessary. At that age, they're walking to school on their own and going to town with their friends without parents.

They're much safer on a plane than they are crossing the street.

Justforlaughs · 22/10/2013 08:00

As a really nervous flier, I need to have my children near me just for the distraction! And I would be panicking the whole time about what I would do in an emergency, whose head I would be climbing over to get to my DCs etc Grin

Original poster
Grennie · 22/10/2013 08:10

It's not extra leg room on a long haul flight people pay for. It is a lie flat bed that you can sleep in rather than a chair that people pay for.

OP posts:
Kaffiene · 22/10/2013 08:14

My dad used to do this. I loved it. We had the convience if being on the same flight for transfers etc but I didn't have the embarrassment of being seen with my dad ;) What I did object to was the time he got drunk and got the stewardess to bring me his 1st class left overs and anything he didn't want from his meal like the cheese board Blush

Pagwatch · 22/10/2013 08:18

I coudn't leave my kids like that.
I woud feel like I was saying they were not as important as me and I am generally a 'tough shit' kind of parent.
But different folk and all that.

If we can't all afford the upgrade I would rather travel together and spend the upgrade money on something nice for me

We are flying posh class to Australia fter Christmas and I am a bit Hmm that I have had to wait until my 50s and DD is 11. It sounds as though we are going to be judged for that too though but hey, fuck em
Grin

livinginwonderland · 22/10/2013 08:19

Yes, but why do kids need that? Unless I was a multi-millionaire, I wouldn't spend nearly £10,000 per child just so they had a flat bed on a plane, especially when, at 8 and 12, they're perfectly capable of sitting in economy and entertaining themselves.

Original poster
Grennie · 22/10/2013 08:22

Why do adults need a flat bed? They don't. But it is more comfortable

Pag hope you both enjoy the flight.

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 22/10/2013 08:26

Yes, but for kids, the added "comfort" isn't, in my eyes, worth paying all that extra money. Kids can stretch out on economy seats - they're small, more flexible and generally don't have to sit for hours with their knees constantly touching the seat in front of them.

I say this as someone who flies to Australia regularly, and up until last year, I always flew economy. I didn't care as a kid because I COULD stretch out and get comfy, but as an adult with long legs and back problems, I can no longer really sit in economy for that length of time. So, if I had the money, I would upgrade my seat and leave my 8 and 12 year olds in economy.

Pagwatch · 22/10/2013 08:28

Why does anyone need anything?
First class isn't a 'need' for anyone

Greenie. I am going to be totally embaressing and squeeeeee about it.
Poor chikdren. Poor dh.

MalcolmTuckersMistress · 22/10/2013 08:28

Well I watched World War Z last night and would be more shocked if there had been ZOMBIES on the plane. YABU, with your judge economy class knickers!

Stylistica · 22/10/2013 08:31

YABU the kids are not that young so fine to leave alone on the same plane! (sure they would check on them) kids would probably enjoy the independence too! I would do the same given the opportunity of first class long haul, lie down... lucky parents I say!

Original poster
Grennie · 22/10/2013 08:34

Enbarass away Pag Grin And I am sure your DC will be excited too. At 12 I would have found it very exciting to have an actual bed on a plane.

The 12 year old was nearly as tall as the mum by the way. Many 12 year olds are. I personally don't understand the attitude that kids don't deserve or appreciate as nice things as adults.

OP posts:
Milkjug · 22/10/2013 08:36

Is it on grounds of supervision or cost/comfort you were shocked? I got quite used to seeing, on flights between London and the Gulf, maids sitting with the children in economy, while their 'madams' sit in first...

Twattyzombiebollocks · 22/10/2013 08:36

I don't think its a problem that she left them, when we flew to the states last year we had 2 seats that were about 10 rows up the plane that my mum and dad had booked for themselves. As it turned out my 8yo son and his 12yp cousin decided they wanted to sit there and be all grown up, they were fine, just played ds/iPod and watched movies etc. we gave them a tenner each to buy snacks off the trolley and left them to it, they really enjoyed it

Original poster
Grennie · 22/10/2013 08:38

Not supervision. Some 8 year olds would behave themselves, others wouldnt. But if they did, then that is fine.

It is more treating children so different to the adults that shocked both me and DP. I think a 12 year old is perfectly capable of appreciating first class. The age when they really wouldn't care, is also the age when you could not leave them by themselves.

OP posts:
TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 22/10/2013 08:50

I would be a bit miffed if a parent near me did this. I think mainly because even though it's not my responsibility I would still end up keeping a weather eye on them because I am a nice caring human being. I would also do this if it was frail looking elderly person too. And god forbid if anything happened I would feel I would need to make sure they were ok and that would be on top of caring for my own four. Part of the deal with flying with minors is they are either with an adult or they get registered as unaccompanied minors. These were neither really.

bordellosboheme · 22/10/2013 08:54

Yanbu

She was probably on a paid for business trip and paid out of her pocket to take her kids too. You should be praising her for that. If she's responsible for 2 young lives she needs to be on form too remember.

bigkidsdidit · 22/10/2013 08:58

My mum's done this with me before, gone to first on her own. I didn't mind and still don't in retrospect. I was so excited to be on my own on a planeand eat whatever I want / ask the stewardesses for snacks Grin plus I could pop up to speak to her if I wanted.

waikikamookau · 22/10/2013 09:13

perhaps she had been driving to the airport, or will be driving once they reach their destination,
perhaps she is ill.
she needs to be on good form and the children are just shipped by the adult.
I bet the children were happy to just get on with it. why shouldn't she have a lie down.

holidaysarenice · 22/10/2013 09:16

At 8 and 12 would they be allowed to travel without her, this is effectively what she is doing!.

Any any emergency she wouldn't be able to get to them, nor assist them.

WillowJoinInOurCrufae · 22/10/2013 10:26

I wouldn't be shocked. The only thing I would be slightly concerned about is what if the children needed their mum for any reason. When DH went to NY on business he flew business class. I went too, but we could only afford for me to fly economy. He was allowed to come and see me in economy but I wasn't allowed to go and see him in business.

(Got upgraded on the way home Grin )

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 22/10/2013 10:29

Holidaysarenice

Just had a quick look
For BA the12 year old would be ok but the younger child would need to be accompanied by a 16+ or on BAs solo service.

AA have almost identical rules

I suspect it's similar for other airlines