To think it's not my fault my boss is a freaking germaphobe and I shouldn't have it thrown in my face

[HarryTheHungryHippo]

My boss hates getting ill, this is understandable we all do but her aversion to it is extreme in that she doesn't want even a sniffle,
I work in a personal care setting helping her with her elderly mother. I feel it's important to point out that unlike some elderly people a cold wouldn't be detrimental to her mother and the issue my boss takes is with her getting a cold not her mother.

I work shift patterns with 1 week on 1 week off and this week should have been my week on but on Saturday night at 3am ds began throwing up and continued to be sick every hour until 10am. I rang my boss on Sunday to tell her that he wouldn't be able to go to dp (who lives 70miles away and has ds every other week) because the childminder won't take him when he's this poorly and he wouldn't be able to get time off work.
I said that I could come in to her when my mum has breaks in between my shifts so could do maybe 3 or 4 hours most days instead of the normal 6. (And I could do most of my work in that time)
She then passed some snotty comment on the phone about how she feels like she's been doing it all alone for the last month anyway,I asked if she meant because of the other girl and she said "in general"
I'm really annoyed by this comment because the time I was off was the 27th for 3 days due to a cold that I noticed I had once on shift on the Thursday. She spent the whole shift with me saying never mind and how she probably already had it now it could t be helped then banned me from coming in the next day for the whole weekend.
The other girl has been off all last week due to a cold and was off the week she worked before that for a few days AND off 2 time previous to that, again for the whole week.
I have been off twice (for a few days not a full week) this year at most and both times were sniffles I wouldn't be banned from any other job for and hate being told not to come in for. At the end of the day I like my job,it's not difficult and I feel guilty as hell when I don't go in. I'm a hard worker and she knows it, she tells me how she can trust me to do things right, how I do things the way she asks and I always put myself out for her if I can. She moans to me about the other girl constantly (and her complaints are justified) so why am I now being punished because the other girl is always off and because she won't let me come in for so much as a runny nose. She wouldn't dare speak to the other girl like this and I cannot help it if ds is ill.
Just to be clear she has no medical condition to warrant her hating colds to this extreme.
We all hate them but they are an unavoidable part of life sometimes.
Aibu to think he she won't let me come in it's not fair to then throw it back in my face?
She's had colds before when I haven't, I don't ask to go home or make a big deal of it.
Oh I forgot to add that she has a cold at the moment and had it all last week so why the other girl was off for the same thing is beyond me

She sounds annoying, you sound annoyed. Her personality isn't going to change. Perhaps you should look for another job?

I think you should find another job, there are usually more in care available than any other sector.

Tbh although her mum could survive a cold I don't see why she or her daughter should be exposed to it if everybody is following the correct hand washing/tissue disposal procedures.

I'm starting I think the same zillion. When things were good they were very good but recently I'm starting to feel a bit taken for granted.
I also think the boundaries are blurred here, sometimes she's my friend and doesn't want me to refer to other people about her as my boss butother times she wants to be my boss.
Think I'd rather a straightforward proffessional way of working things with set rules that don't keep changing

I'm happy to follow any procedure they want famzilla, I'd wash my hands every 10mins and take anti bac gel as well but I couldnt see so much hand washing go down well since their water is on a metre and she's a but precious over it.
Iv honestly in the past offered to go in with a scarf over my mouth, told her she doesn't have to be near me and can go out off in to another room while I help her mother. I have tried.
It just feels like the other girl has clocked she's like this and now uses it at a drop of a hat when she fancies time off or wants to pick up work elsewhere.

Before you go and jack in a job that you essentially like, it's worth laying it all on the table for her. Tell her you are thinking if leaving because of it and tell her exactly what you've told us. Ask her what is the way forward.

You've nothing to lose if you are thinking of leaving anyway.

Do you guys get paid for all this time off?

Yes but that's what's she's now saying that she can't keep paying for time off. Iv said if that's the case for this week then fine and I accept that but I'm not being penalised for being forced to be off with a cold.
She doesn't actually pay for us, the money is given to her to pay for care, it goes in to her bank and she doesn't have to contribute a penny. She also won't get another carer in for times we are off so it's not that's she's paying twice

I will talk to her, I'll even stay and stick it out. I made it clear yesterday I didn't think her response to me was fair.
I'm trying for another child and was planing on staying and working but bringing newborn along, we discussed this and she was happy with this, I was staying out of loyalty rather than money, I'd be earning little more than on maternity. If this continues I'll be taking my maternity