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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep the expensive stuff for me and let the kids use the normal stuff?

328 replies

2kidsintow · 20/10/2013 21:25

There are few things in life that are reserved for me alone.

However, I buy the DDs the normal bog standard chocolate spread for their weekend breakfast pancake treat and keep the lovely Cadbury stuff for me alone, on a high shelf.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 21/10/2013 09:15

Seriously, adults aren't allowed a treat now & then? Who earns the money? Cooks the food? Cleans? Wipes up poo & wee & sick?

And we don't get a little treat for that? Sod that!

I don't open them til he's tucked up but that's not the same I don't think

It's the same, you are doing that so you don't have to share them with him, which is fine. I do it too, just not with Pringles.

waikikamookau · 21/10/2013 09:16

my dm made me feel horribly guilty for buying myself cherries just for me. I love cherries.
yes, I forgot, the food is for the children, I should just eat their scraps, and as for my dh, he should not eat at all Sad

TantrumsAndBalloons · 21/10/2013 09:17

FRUIT?? You eat FRUIT??

you know thats forbidden in mummy martyr land dont you?

differentnameforthis · 21/10/2013 09:17

I forget sometimes that we all have to become martyrs when we have children and eat only value food and leftovers whilst the dcs eat steak and ice cream and fruit

I think someone must have ripped that page out of the 0 to 5 NHS book that I was given Grin

MuffCakes · 21/10/2013 09:21

No wonder there are so many spoilt precious brats around.

bakingaddict · 21/10/2013 09:27

I think there is two separate issues.

It's OK to buy a range of treats that take into account differing tastes in the household.

However buying things and keeping them on separate shelves because they are for adults only sits a bit uneasy with me. To me families should enjoy and share food together not have distinctions between what is for kids and adults.

mijas99 · 21/10/2013 09:28

My Spanish MIL was horrified when watching Angela's Ashes that the mum and dad ate fish and chips while the children went hungry and had to do without

Thinking about the way I was brought up in the North of England, steak was only an occasional treat for my parents, we had turkey twizzlers, processed frozen sausages etc. That wasnt what we wanted, that was the decision that was made for us. Ditto on a trip to the fish and chip shop, we were allowed a sausage but the fish was only for them.

I'm not saying that all British parents are like that, but some are. It sends a clear message to the children, and not a good one

waikikamookau · 21/10/2013 09:30

yes but it depends if the children would eat the Fish,
and it is rather expensive, a sausage is cheaper.

depends on the ages of the children, if you can get away with a kiddies meal in a pub/restaurant, you would do.

mijas99 · 21/10/2013 09:34

waikikamookau - of course we wanted the fish, but we knew it was expensive and so only for the adults. Even when I was 15-16, the same rules applied

My parents didnt have a lot of money, I understand that. I actually thought that was a normal attitude until I moved to Spain and see that culturally they are the exact opposite.

differentnameforthis · 21/10/2013 09:37

My girls are hardly deprived because I choose not to share one or two times of food with them...

They get

  • to go on school trips (day & over night),
  • regular pocket money that they can spend on what they like
  • to go to parties & get lolly bags
  • birthday presents
  • Christmas presents
  • taken to ice skating/the cinema/farm barns by their after school club
  • birthday parties where they get presents from friends
  • days out to see dolphins & ride on old steam trains
  • ice cream on a regular basis
  • to lick the beaters when we make a cake

I don't think they actually care that I don't share my Marmite/occasional chocolate with them!!

curlew · 21/10/2013 09:38

Evelyn Waugh somehow acquired a banana during the war. He gathered his children round, and ate it in front of them.

wonderingsoul · 21/10/2013 09:42

i dont get the probelm..

kid gets chocolate that they like....

adult get chocolate that they like.. just happens to be more expensive.... im not going to buy the kid the same just because of misplaced guilt.

long as the children are happy with what they get what the feck does it matter if i keep something just for me.

mrsjay · 21/10/2013 09:44

if I bought dds fish and chips each when they were younger they would leave half of it and that is a waste of money even now dd2 will have some of my chips because our chippy serves whales huge fish portions and she wouldn't eat it all,

MsVestibule · 21/10/2013 09:48

YADNBU! I always buy decent quality meat and of course the DCs eat that, but as for treat food, hell no! We get a box of Hotel Chocolat chocolates delivered quarterly; at about 50p per chocolate, NO WAY are the DCs (6&4) getting their mitts on those!

Same with ice cream - I buy Asda's good quality stuff for the grownups and the standard stuff for the children. The DCs smother their icecream in sprinkles and sauce and stir it into a mush anyway, so I hardly think they'd appreciate the finer taste of Really Creamy Chocolate Truffle Ice Cream would they?

People on this thread who are comparing saving special treats for adults with depriving children of 'proper' food are utterly bonkers.

SaucyJack · 21/10/2013 09:51

YANBU at all- tho my expensive treats personally tend to be nicer shampoo/bubble bath stuff.

Equally the kids get things bought for them that I don't. Can't remember the last time I treated myself to a new colouring book or glitter pens. Sadface.

mrsjay · 21/10/2013 09:51

you get cream chocolate truffle WHERE !

SweetSeraphim · 21/10/2013 09:51

Of course I have treat food that I hide from the kids! There are 4 of them, and they would eat everything in sight if they had the chance. Can't believe some of you feel guilty for not sharing everything. It's not like they're starving while we gorge ourselves on luxury items, it's just that I'm not going to share my Haagen Dazs with wee ones that won't appreciate it Hmm

mijas99 · 21/10/2013 09:51

mrsjay, we would have happily shared a fish between the two of us, but then we would have eaten it all anyway

Sausages were 30p, a fish about £2 if I remember

I understand the problem, my parents probably thought they if they have to buy everybody fish then they can't afford to go at all, but perhaps a better solution would have been if we all shared

mrsjay · 21/10/2013 09:52

Icecream* i forgot to add ice cream in my excitement

MillyStar · 21/10/2013 09:53

My daughter gets the good stuff and i get the rubbish in our house!

KirjavaTheCorpse · 21/10/2013 09:53

Why wouldn't they appreciate it though? What's wrong with children having nice ice cream? Confused

waikikamookau · 21/10/2013 09:54

we rarely have fish and chips as we have 3 teens, so we do share, the chips 3 portions between 5 of us is plenty, and now if they want fish, they get it, I would prefer if they wanted a sausage, as they are cheaper, but now the are teens, fish and chips is an annual event!

mijas99 · 21/10/2013 09:56

My 2 year old's favourite ice cream is an artesan pistaccio ice cream that only one shop in our city sells. Probably because he likes the green colour rather than the flavour, but still, he gets that choice

To be able to appreciate food, you have to give children a chance to, no? Those who say "they are just kids they'll eat any old junk" are leading them to a life full of bad food decisions

SweetSeraphim · 21/10/2013 09:56

Who said they didn't get nice ice cream? Confused

They get clotted cream and honeycomb ice cream and I get Haagen Dazs because I can only have a tiny bit as a treat as I'm dieting. If they had free reign over it, they would eat the lot and it wouldn't touch the sides.

Chunderella · 21/10/2013 09:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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