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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

by not tipping my hairdresser

63 replies

BooCanary · 19/10/2013 13:10

I've been going to the same hairdressers for years.
She is lovely - she is not only a great hairdresser but we get on really well and I really look forward to seeing her.

She's not cheap (£60 - 80 for colour, cut and dry/straighten) but worth it IMO.

BUT I have never tipped her. I think she gets paid enough. If she was getting paid £30 - fair enough, but it seems daft (and a bit patronising) to tip her a few quid on top of the £80 I've just paid. My DM tips her hairdresser but she only pays about £15 for a quick cut.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 19/10/2013 23:21

Amazing how many people are cool with being tight.

Waiters/waitresses and hairdressers get a tip as long as the service was good. That applied when I was still at school never mind now I have a full time job.

Ghostlygirl · 19/10/2013 23:40

I was in a branch of a well-known pizza restaurant chain a couple of months ago. I'm not sure if I am allowed to name it, but it wasn't Pizza Hut. If you wished to leave a tip, you could either give cash or add it to your bill if you were paying by card. I asked the waiter if he received all of the tip if it were given to him via debit card. He said that first of all, the head office took a cut of the tip, then the amount left would be divided so that the kitchen staff of that branch also had some, as they never receive tips, even though they are on a higher hourly rate than the waiting staff. Then the amount that was finally still his, would be taxed. He said that if a £5 tip were given to him via debit card, he probably saw about 50p of it. Needless to say, I tipped him with cash.

WMittens · 20/10/2013 00:03

Amazing how many people are cool with being tight.

I don't think it's a case of being tight, more that, apart from a couple of areas, tipping has never really been part of British culture. As is well known, the USA has a very different tipping culture.

WMittens · 20/10/2013 00:07

Then the amount that was finally still his, would be taxed.

I feel it's wrong that tips are taxed, they are a discretionary gift, not wages. However, I do sort of understand the need to evenly share the tips (to some extent, maybe among waiting staff) - it's a bit harsh if one waiter or waitress gets large tippers, and another gets who don't tip anything; it could be £50 or more difference just because of who was seated where.

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/10/2013 00:11

Tipping has been quite a part of British culture - otherwise posters wouldn't be commenting on how it must be an older generation thing.

I don't go around tipping people willy nilly don't get me wrong. We're meant to tip taxi drivers but I think I've only ever tipped two. I've been in a fair few taxis. Just virtually none of them have warranted it in my opinion. Far too many mediocre or down right unpleasant experiences.

geminigirl · 20/10/2013 00:18

I was in a Frankie and Bennys recently, never had been in before and was horrified and a little bit put out to be asked if I wanted to add a gratuity when I went to pay the bill. I declined but felt guilty, then I was annoyed that I felt guilty....I really didn't like the approach, I will leave something on the table as I leave if I want to leave a tip.

pigsDOfly · 20/10/2013 00:24

Not sure why the tip should be shared WMittens. If the person receiving the all the tips is getting them because he or she has gone out of their way to give good service then the tips belong to them.

Why should someone who potentially doesn't give a damn about the customer end up receiving the same tip.

If I tip someone it's because I want to let them know I appreciate the service they've given me.

I also understood that it's considered bad form to tip the owner of the business.

Ifancyashandy · 20/10/2013 00:28

I always tip. In cabs, I'll round it up ( today, my cab back from the supermarket was £8.80. I handed over a tender and told him to keep the change) as they'll help me carry my bags to the front door. In the hairdressers, I give my stylist (who is freelance in the salon) a £10 after a cut and colour (no junior, he washes my hair himself) & I gave the woman who did my nails today a £5 tip on a £35 bill. She did a great job and I want her to remember me when I next go in (new salon) so I get seen promptly on the day I want.

And always add 20% to restaurant bills. Ditto leaving the smallish change in bars.

Once a barmaid/waitress.....

Lillielangtry · 20/10/2013 00:34

I never tip my hairdresser though I must admit I feel a bit guilty not doing so. But I know she's paid well (close to £30k as she's very senior) so I think it's OK not to. I do give the young girl who washes my hair a couple of pounds or so as I'm sure she earns peanuts as an apprentice.

Yetanotherrandomman · 20/10/2013 06:43

Tipping is a vile custom. It enables employers to evade tax and hold down wages.

sweetsoulsister · 20/10/2013 07:44

FYI - most restaurants that automatically charge a 12.5% gratuity on your bill use that money to pay the staff their wages, it is NOT a tip that goes directly to your server. I learnt this from personal experience as a waitress. Deceitful practice in my opinion.

SPBisResisting · 20/10/2013 08:01

shandy, when you say "Leaving the smallish change in bars"
if your drinks are £4.86 would you hand over a fiver and tell them to keep the change? I'd be too embarrassed. Just wondering if that is the sort of thing...I'm another who finds the whole tipping thing very confusing!

sleepywombat · 20/10/2013 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SPBisResisting · 20/10/2013 08:12

but then do they not say "thank you" and you cringe because it's 16p (or whatever)

SPBisResisting · 20/10/2013 08:13

14p :o
I can add up, just couldn't remember what I'd put

sleepywombat · 20/10/2013 08:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 20/10/2013 08:24

Allways tip my hairdresser.thats how they make a lot of their money. Not sure what i would do if it was the salon owner.
Some people hire chairs in salons too so dont make much without tips.

SPBisResisting · 20/10/2013 08:39

But they presumably do have to count it out in exactly the same way else their till won't balance

marriedinwhiteisback · 20/10/2013 09:00

I tip because my parents and grandparents tipped and it was what I was taught to do because it was right and proper to do it. I don't think it's a new thing at all. The only areas from which I persistently receive poor service are hospitals/nursing staff. That is from where I have witnessed more rudeness, curtness, basic discourtesy and lack of respect than from anywhere else at all. I am convinced it is because it is free at the point of delivery and there is no vested interest in providing a good service because because one's pay is dependent upon it.

Dancergirl · 20/10/2013 09:07

Sorry if this sounds mean but I never tip my hairdresser or the shampoo girl. I know they don't get paid much but I like the price to be the price. I would prefer them to put up the price for everything by a pound or two to include the tip.

I also hate faffing around looking for the right coins and if you don't have change then what? So I just don't bother.

If nobody tipped there would be pressure to increase their wages.

FamiliesShareGerms · 20/10/2013 09:22

I agree, Dancergirl.

I tip taxi drivers as in "keep the change", and do similar in bars where there are waiting staff who bring you the bill on a little saucer (IYKWIM). I leave a cash tip for waiters, unless the bill has already had a gratuity added. Twice I have removed the gratuity from the bill and left cash instead because of how awful the meal was despite our lovely waitress.

The only time I have tipped at a salon is the person who did my hair, nails and makeup on my wedding day, because it really was over and above the normal service.

I never see our bin men or postmen, so why would I tip them at Xmas? (Especially as they are both pretty poor)

But generally I hate tipping - I don't know how much to tip, when to tip, whether to be discreet or open about handing over the cash... And I prefer to know up front how much a service is going to cost me, without additional costs on top.

Original poster
BooCanary · 20/10/2013 09:32

Well I had my hair cut yesterday, and didn't tip!
I kept an eye out for what others were doing and did notice a few people tipping both hairdresser and 'hair washer'. I think maybe I should tip the hairwashing girl next time, if I can get over my tip etiquette worry, as she is only about 18 and probably gets paid peanuts. That being said, she did accidentally pull my hair as few times and almost scalded me!!!!

OP posts:
mummydarkling · 20/10/2013 10:01

I tip the postie, bin men, taxi driver, waiters, manicurist, and hairdresser. Some just at Christmas with chocolates and a note of appreciation and some on an as you go basis with a cheery thank-you. I used to send gifts to teachers but my teenagers tell me it is too embarrassing now.

WMittens · 20/10/2013 10:24

Alisvolatpropiis

Tipping has been quite a part of British culture - otherwise posters wouldn't be commenting on how it must be an older generation thing.

Erm, my comparison was with the USA - you really think we're on a par? Egypt is another example, where you even have to tip a toilet attendant to be handed a roll of toilet paper; I've never seen that in the UK.

WMittens · 20/10/2013 10:31

pigsDOfly

Not sure why the tip should be shared WMittens. If the person receiving the all the tips is getting them because he or she has gone out of their way to give good service then the tips belong to them.

Why should someone who potentially doesn't give a damn about the customer end up receiving the same tip.

You missed the point that a discretionary tip is not always given as recognition of good service; some customers tip generously, some customers tip less so, some don't tip at all. Some posters have already said they don't tip (although that may be in context of hairdressers).

What if the person goes out of their way to provide an excellent service, but their covers are people who never tip whatever the level of service they receive? And the person who doesn't give a shit about giving a good service gets customers who automatically tip 20%? Is either situation fair?

I agree with Yetanotherrandomman that prices should be charged that allow decent wages to be paid to service staff.