to wish dh would grow a set

[minkersmum]

I am sick to death of dh being such a bloody woose.

He never stands up to anyone. Sick of having to have the biggest balls. Dog in our street has AGAIN attacked our dog. I spoke to owner and was very honest about how i feel, despite it being uncomfortable for both of us. I am worried next time it will be my child. Took dog to vet Dh said he would take bill round to put through their door with a note. Now he wants to post it via royal mail. FFS they are in the wrong here. Im not asking him to go round and thump the guy, just post the bill and note through door. Fucking raging that he is being such a bloody big wimp. Dh is like this about everything. Really hacks me right off. Sick of hearing 'man or mouse' ringing in my head.

AIBU.

YABU, simply for equating having bollocks with being assertive/brave.

Why can't you do it?

YANBU. It's not a gender thing; in a relationship you want both partners to share the confrontational/less desirable tasks that need to be done (unless one of you REALLY enjoys that sort if thing, I guess). It's crap when one person doesn't pull their weight, just like when they don't pull their weight in household chores, childcare, financial stuff etc.

Is your DH a Very Nice Guy, OP, or can he just not be arsed? My DH is the former and that's why he shies away from anything in the confrontation/complaints ballpark. I get that it makes him uncomfortable, but it pisses me off because it feels like he's putting other people's feelings ahead of our own. If my DH just couldn't be arsed I'd be forcing him to do his share!

if his nature is retiring and non confrontational you can't change it

take the bill round

report to the Police too, surely? A dangerous dog has attacked yours more than once

Just an expression. Perhaps i could have put it better but I am currently in a thick red fog after seeing my poor dog being attacked. Given recent stories in news of fatal dog attacks I think I am reasonably concerned. This dog has lunged at two of my dc. Dh still not 'brave' enough to put himself out there and say 'this is not good enough'. Would you not be a little furious at his lack of courage?

YANBU. It's not like complaining your online shop was late, or there was a hair in your soup - this dog's owner is potentially putting members of your family at risk.

And where family is concerned yes he should make a stand.

hooby yes no doubt I will have to. As usual.

anjou bit of Mr nice guy but also completely non confrontational to the point of him feeling constantly let down by people yet he is unable to say anyyhing about it to rectify the situation.

pedlars have contacted dog warden which is what police advised me to do in first instance.

Indeed I would minker, I'd be in pieces if it were my dog.

The absolute last thing on my mind would be using politically correct phrases when venting. Jeez.

I think you need to step back and have a think.

Men usually are the victims of violent crime- MUCH more then women.

It's not a sign of weakness to want to avoid a situation where violence may flare.

I think you are being rather aggressive and naive about this situation.

And I think you need to let your DH do his thing the way he wants to do it, and you need to learn that there are more ways of doing something than rushing in like a bull in a china shop, and let him do it his way.

Nobody's perfect, even you.
Let your DH handle his own life the way he wants- it's his life, not some extension of yours.

And I think you need to cool off and learn how to get on with those neighbours.

ivanapoo my thoughts exactly. I don't mind dealing with most stuff but with this I want his support. I neec to see him protect his family. Ge has let me down like this before by assuming I wi sort things out because he 'knows i am capable'. Sorry but that boils my piss.

It's not all a bad thing, OP. You might have far more serious problems if you were both very similar in character. At least with your DH being non-confrontational and you being more prepared to speak out there's a balance in the relationship.

As long as one of you is willing and able to address the issue does it matter which it is? Just make sure that while you're doing that he's doing something which you don't want to do.

I hope that your dog makes a full recovery and that the owner of the other one is punished severely.

What is he afraid of?

My partner is like this. It used to drive me mad, but over the years and from watching other relationships where the man is more confrontational, I have come to appreciate his gentle personality more. It still drives me mad from time to time, but he won't change, and it does come with a whole load of benefits too (he is very easy to boss around!). I just deal with this sort of stuff myself now, without getting myself wound up by asking him to do it.

I read this comment the other day and needed somewhere suitable to share it. 'Why would anyone want to grow a pair of balls when they just shrivel up at the first sight of trouble whereas a pussy is so amazing, it can push a baby out!'

"I neec to see him protect his family."

Why?

Presumably he was always non confrontational and you have always been aware of this? If that is the case YABU to complain now.

If this dog is a danger to others, should it not be reported?

Have you contacted the police? I would let them deal with it and pass the bill over on your behalf.

Yabu.. your dh is non confrontational by nature. I assume he was like this when you chose him and now you are belittling him for being himself. Also, he is far more likely to get thumped than you if this other dog owner is inclined.