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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just cancel the holiday

11 replies

Tailtwister · 17/10/2013 17:28

I'm supposed to be taking DS1 and DS2 on holiday tomorrow for just over a week. DH isn't coming so we can conserve holiday to cover school holidays and he's very busy anyway.

The DC are just constantly fighting. They bicker, annoy each other, then someone gets hurt and it's tears. Repeat every 20 minutes. It's exhausting and I can just about cope with it at home, but the thought of dealing with them 24/7 for the next 8/9 days is overwhelming. They are only 5 and 3, but they just don't get on. I know the weather isn't the greatest and that doesn't bother me (we are glamping if that's the right term), but they have been warned we might not go due to their behaviour and it doesn't bother them in the slightest.

Should I just put my foot down and cancel? This was supposed to be a break for DS1 as he's done so well in his first term at school, but I just don't see how it will be any fun at all if they continue to fight.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 17/10/2013 17:33

I can't answer your question, but I will say that my DB and I fought continually throughout our childhood, and yet he is the first person I would turn to if I had a problem.

I always said that I wouldn't worry if my DC fought, but what I hadn't realised was how exhausting continual bickering is to listen to!

Maybe sit them down and ask them if they want to go?

magimedi · 17/10/2013 17:34

I'd go - a change of scene might help & if it is awful you could come back early.

You're not going to get your money back at this rate so you might as well give it a whirl.

LIZS · 17/10/2013 17:37

Is it far ? Could dh come over the weekend ? Agree you may find enough to distract them - nature walks, fetching provisions, visiting animals etc - to keep them from arguing as much.

mrsjay · 17/10/2013 17:38

i twont bother them as it doesnt mean anything to them it may as well be a trip to the park at that age children dont think in the longterm iyswim maybe a change will do them good get out of their routine and away from the 4 walls, children will bicker you just need to learn to ignore it they do it so mum picks sides if there is no blood or heads falling off i would leave them to it, I know how exhausting it is though

Original poster
Tailtwister · 17/10/2013 17:43

It's a few hours drive away. DH thinks it will be easier to amuse them when we're away.

They are currently rubbing my back to persuade me not to cancel and they think that's what I'm typing. I don't normally get them to rub my back btw, but can only assume they're copying what I do to them when they're upset!

It's heartening to hear your personal experience ajandjjmum. I hope they do get one when they're older, but it seems a long way away. I might have to take my copy of 'Siblings Without Rivalry' for my bedtime reading. Maybe that will give me some ideas.

OP posts:
Minnieisthedevilmouse · 17/10/2013 17:43

Go. Change of scene could do wonders. U can always come home

ShirazSavedMySanity · 17/10/2013 17:59

I have DC the same age as yours and it is the same story in our house, a constant cycle of bickering.

We went away last weekend and the change if scenery did them good apart from the five year old who was a little madam but they didn't have the same things to bicker about .

I'd go. If by day 3 they are still unbearable, come home.

Build up te excitement for them now about going away and then hope thy start behaving

CHJR · 17/10/2013 18:05

Oh, go. With luck the trip will distract them from their mutual loathing society!
And don't let the bickering upset you. It's actually a sign of closeness in children -- no one fights with someone they don't care about and never spend time with. My two DS never bicker. They are 5 years apart in calendar age and more like 10 in mental age (younger one is SEN). DS1 is very kind to DS2 but it makes me sad they will never be equal enough to bicker.

Original poster
Tailtwister · 17/10/2013 18:11

DH has just come home and also thinks we should go. I suspect he's just terrified his week of peace is in jeopardy!

I will go. I've packed everything and the holiday has been paid for. I just hope we all get back in one piece.

Mutual loathing society Grin. I'll need to remember that one for the future CHJR!

OP posts:
toomuchicecream · 17/10/2013 19:57

Maybe it's because DS is tired from his first term at school? It could well be that once he's away from school they get on better with each other...

wheretoyougonow · 17/10/2013 20:00

Go take Wellies and waterproofs. They will like the freedom outside when glamping.
Take two carrier bags and make a list of 'treasure' to find e.g big leaf, unusual stone etc.
Take Wine for your evening! A change of scenery will do you all good. My boys are like this but act like best friends when away.

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