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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be a bit weirded out by work colleague's behaviour?

47 replies

VulvaVoom · 16/10/2013 15:07

I've returned to work from Maternity leave and have pretty much started a new position, some colleagues are ones I know and some are new people.

I took my DD into work this pm to see my old work friends/colleagues, there's a man who I don't know very well and have only had (very brief) work chat with over the past 2 days.

He bounds over, says 'is it a he or a she?' I then tell him and he starts putting DDs socked foot in and out of his mouth while she's sat on a colleagues lap. I felt a bit weird about it and a bit embarrassed, he then picks her up and put her on his lap and starts lowering her through his legs quickly (as if she's falling) and back up again.

He's quite a, shall we say, eccentric man from what I can tell but it made me feel quite strange. Men don't generally grab babies off of women they hardly know do they? This isn't an thread against men holding babies, I guess if it was a familiar known male colleague, I would have no odd feelings but this is strange yes?

Prepared to be told I'm the weird one BTW, I really can't tell if IBU?

OP posts:

YouTheCat · 16/10/2013 15:09

Would you be bothered if a woman had done that?

TheGhostsAndGhoulsOfHitchhikin · 16/10/2013 15:10

Would you have found it strange if it was a woman?

pollywollydoodle · 16/10/2013 15:14

i'd have found that odd from anyone who didn't already have a relationship with dd

was he trying to impress you?

Original poster

VulvaVoom · 16/10/2013 15:16

That's the thing, I don't know but like I say, I wouldn't have been weirded out if it had been a male work colleague I have known for years.

I probably would have found it AS strange if it was a woman who had barely acknowledged me but then fawned over my child IYSWIM?

Maybe it's because he seemed odd to me anyway and not someone I would have thought was at all interested in my child (or me for that matter) and I mean in a purely 'wanting to find out more about someone's life in a general work chit chat' kind of way.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 15:17

I've seen tons of men and women do that with babies over the years, I don't think it's odd at all...especially considering his colleagues were fussing over your baby.

But did he really 'bound' over and did he really 'grab' the baby?

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 15:18

I suspect he really isn't that interested in your child at all and will have forgotten all about her by now.

YouTheCat · 16/10/2013 15:19

Some people just really like babies.

I find them all odd. Whenever someone tries to pass me a baby in the staffroom (often because there's a constant stream of pregnancies) I say no thanks.

LondonNightmareInGhostlyBoots · 16/10/2013 15:19

If you didn't know him its a little forward - does he have dcs? he could ve trying for dcs with his dw or there could be impending fatherhood, he could just love kids! I would have definitely done that if I knew the mother - insanely broody, and if dh knew the mother he would have done the same - he is also insanely broody, but if he doesn't know you at all its a bit forward. same if a woman you don't know did so. Not sinister, just boundaries!

Have you got on quite well with him in the time you've been working together? he could have thought you wouldn't mind if you've got on well.

Original poster

VulvaVoom · 16/10/2013 15:27

London I've been back at work 2 weeks (PT) and have only very briefly spoken to him a couple of times, once when we walked back to the office from a meeting and found ourselves walking together for about 2 mins - quite awkward conversation. Don't know his situation at all in relation whether he has DCs and DW/DP.

Worra He started waving at DD from the other side of the room first, I didn't spot that until friend/colleague said something like 'Oh look X is waving at you' he then kind of did bound over and did kind of grab her from colleagues lap after the foot odd stuff. He probably has forgotten all about it, but why show such strange overenthusiasm?

The more I write, the more I think I'm being a bit weird myself

OP posts:

Sallykitten · 16/10/2013 15:28

I would not like somebody I did not do well putting my babies feet in their mouth or making touching them like this. Don't care if it's a man or woman, it's inappropriate.

WorraLiberty · 16/10/2013 15:35

He is over enthusiastic, I'll give him that!

I'm more of a 'smile at the baby and pray no-one wants me to hold it'

YouTheCat · 16/10/2013 15:46

I'm with you, Worra.

Nancy66 · 16/10/2013 15:49

He sounds a bit socially awkward but, I'm guessing, you won't be taking your daughter into work again so I wouldn't worry about it.

Some people are just a bit inappropriate with kids (not in a disturbing way) I mean they just don't quite know how to interact.

GrendelsMum · 16/10/2013 17:00

The 'dropping through legs' thing is quite normal, isn't it? Just a game adults play with babies.

Aniseeda · 16/10/2013 17:02

Sounds as if he struggles a bit socially but loves babies.

I'd have probably felt a bit but sometimes people can go a bit over the top when anxious and trying to make a good impression, perhaps he thought interacting with the baby was a way to get to know you, I don't know.

Before I had my own babies, I always used to make a beeline for them, I loved them and would always try and get a cuddle. These days I am more likely to admire from a safe distance. I like them but don't have the same urge to hold them

LimitedEditionLady · 16/10/2013 18:29

Dunno if im on my own but i think that its quite sweet...some people are just great with babies as long as the baby is happy i wouldnt really mind.He is showing an interest you might end up having a nice work friend to chat to!

harticus · 16/10/2013 18:58

He sounds like a man who is very used to being around babies and likes them.
It isn't weird for men to be good with children.

UrethraFranklin · 16/10/2013 19:08

It doesn't sound weird to me. Some people are just comfortable around babies! He could have babies in his own family who he has played these games with - they're quite common IMO anyway.

Doubtfuldaphne · 16/10/2013 19:09

The poor guy just likes babies! I think my dad would be the same and probably dh!
I have been through a weird experience. I was in a cafe when I just popped over to pay at the till leaving my dd in the pushchair at the table. The guy sitting behind started trying to take off dd's shoes and socks?? I still shudder when I think of that.

RevelsRoulette · 16/10/2013 19:42

Or perhaps he thought that making a big fuss about your baby would make you like him?

mrsjay · 16/10/2013 19:52

e sounds just over excited some men love babies especially older babies my dh loves them he doesnt bound though OP if it had been a random woman you just met you probably would think she was just a bit bonkers over babies , I really dont want to hold babies at all and i work with them I am not overly fussed over holds and cuddles

PenelopePipPop · 16/10/2013 19:55

I'm a law academic. I was really touched and amused when my colleagues, mainly middle-aged male professors of law went gooey over my DD. And they went seriously dementedly gooey. I cannot name my dept on here, they'd never recover from the shame.

But yes some unlikely people get very excited by babies. Which I found rather lovely.

mrsjay · 16/10/2013 19:58

aww penelope thats nice

MarcelineTheVampireQueen · 16/10/2013 20:01

What did you think was inappropriate? What did you think his intention was?

You already thought he was weird (from a two min conversation?) Did that cloud your perception of the events?

Milkjug · 16/10/2013 20:03

I knew someone exactly like this. He was terribly socially awkward, especially around women, went scarlet every time he spoke to one, and he adored children and was desperate to have some of his own. You would find him playing with any child in the vicinity. I found it rather touching, and I gather he's now married with daughters, so hurrah.

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