Guests who canst help theirselves but wind up your young children?

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

Fun throwing around, running around, loud excitable games that end in arguments, shouting, crying and fighting. They are "fun" because these people don't actually have their own children and don't realise how much stress it causes.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!

AIBU?

YABU

It is just a bit of harmless fun.

My Dad is the king of winding up other peoples children, it drives me mad!

Never mind the guests, my DP does this to our two just before bedtime. I am known as the "fun police" in our house!

Oh Lord!
This really gets me!

YANBU. Its so bloody annoying and not fair on the kids either. Normally my DC are well behaved - but start tickling them and mithering them and throwing things indoors and playing 'hit each other on the head' and I just want to scream.

This is why I do not have FIL over much.

Yes yes yes!
Dh does this before bed sometimes, when he does I insist he does bedtime. Drives me mad!
And fil is the king of this sort of behaviour, then shouting at the kids later when they are running around like headless chickens because they are so wound up! Argh...

One of the dads on the school run is like this.
Play fighting, stomping on toes etc is all perfectly reasonable on the way to school

Then he wonders why his ds is so rough and fighty!

I don't mind genuine playing that the children enjoy (MIL is very good at this) but I loathe goady mean teasing and the like (FIL tries it but he's used to insulting adults so it goes over DS's head). I think some adults like FIL use children as a power trip.

I take it you've met my brother, then...

YY sudden - a friend of mine "play fights" with her ds, sticks her foot in his face and says "smell my smelly foot" etc and then wonders where he gets his rowdy behaviour from. I do physical play with ds but hitting or any sort of mean behaviour is never ever allowed and if one person says stop the playing must stop.

Yes, bil does this. He's great and the kids adore him. Not so much fun when you are eating out and trying to get them to sit still and behave.

Eugh! Yes!

When da was small my sister had a boyfriend who would tell him to pull mummy's hair or go draw on the wall, he thought he was hilarious

dh does this. winds them right up and then he's had enough he expects them to stop playing instantly and then get arsey and shouts when the dc keep jumping on him and wanting to play.

it doesn't matter how many times I point this out to him he just doesn't get it. kids don't have an off switch dh!

My problem would be more with the kind of behaviour CailinDana mentions, often an older man (women seem to do it less) deliberately goading a small child (holding a toy out of reach, pretending he is going to take them away) and then doing big guffaws and saying Oh, only a joke, no need to get upset.

Having said that, my parents have just been visiting, and my well-meaning father couldn't seem to grasp that starting big, exciting tickly games when my toddler was sitting down to eat, wasn't a good idea.

YANBU.

DP's brother does this. Plays wrestling with our DS, spina him around, steals his favourite toy (which pisses DS off so he doesn't really do it anymore). But all this playfighting will be as soon as we've woken up and I'm still in zombie mode and would much rather ease myself and DS into the day ahead than face a load of jumping about and noise at 7am! DP's brother doesn't come to visit often and DS loves him so I do try to grit my teeth. But I do say something when it's just before bed and we're trying to get DS to wind down.

Oh and my DF does this to some extent. He is absolutely fantastic with my DS but he messes about with him at the dinner table when we're round their house. Makes a big joke if something falls off the fork so DS thinks it's hilarious and does it again. My DS also insists on my DF feeding him (even though DS feeds himself no problem at home). He never finishes his dinner when he's there. My mum asked the last time, "Is he not much of a big eater at home them?" and I had to say, "He'd everything in the house if I let him. I don't let him piss about at the dinner table" Might have been a bit rude but it was winding me up!

Yanbu. This really pisses me off.

YANBU - I have a couple of sets of friends who are not allowed round before my 3 yo is in bed now.

Sweets, silliness, DVD's of films that they haven't seen and want to, but the guest isn't prepared to leave them and have them returned, they have to watched right then....

Oh, and the 'off-switch' ... wind her up and then just expect her to stop and let them talk... leaving me to tell her off and upset her when she, understandably, won't.

I tried explaining after it happened the first couple of times that it needed not to, nicely, away from the child and the moment - esp the 'treats' - and it just did not go in....

No comprehension of why I don't want her staying up till 10pm when we all have to get up at 7am. No comprehension of why I don't want her eating that giant bag of haribo at all 10 minutes before bed, and when I've already done teeth/face/hands etc.... and no comprehension of how fucking annoying it is when they did 'oh, well, Aunty/Uncle XX brought these but I guess Mummy says no....' AFTER my DD has seen them...

It drove me nuts, so now they aren't allowed round until after bed. It means they don't see her nearly as much, of course, which is a shame, but it was the only thing I could do.

Of course now I get 'oh, didn't you keep her up for us...? But we brought....'

I have this with my (deceased) mum's partner, we keep having to tell him when DD says no, it means no. I hate the fact that he tickles her until she's in tears or holds onto her and wont let her get away.

I have other issues with him and inappropriate touching but that's another thread

Oh yes. YANBU. My ILs have just left after a few days here and despite having raised two children themselves and being heavily involved with SIL's two children do not seem to grasp that the reason DS won't sit still at the table, be quiet, eat nicely or go to bed without a fight is directly down to them winding him up and watching him go and expecting me to be able to magically switch him off when it suits them.

They're back next week. When I'll have just sorted his routine out and got him eating normally again ready for them to appear and undo it all.

It I really pisses me off! Mine get really cheeky towards me too and start showing off and are then encouraged. I battle for them to show me respect at he best of times but then when another "hilarious" adult is there encouraging this brattishness it makes me want to explode.

One day I'm going to pack my bags and move away to live up a remote mountain miles from anywhere ON MY OWN!

OMG, your family and/or friends are playing with your children and making them laugh ? How awfully stressful for you!

My brother is like this with my kids and it drives me mad.

Constantly tickling them, sitting on them or whatever, then wonders why they get silly and hyper and start jumping on him

I'm known as the Fun Police too, now I don't actually care if he wants to tickle/whatever, they're happy to play with him, he just has to accept the consequences and not moan when they start jumping all over him

Peppi - I know