to wish some people would hurry up and choke on their damn judgy pants!

[Xochiquetzal]

Reception DD didn't want to go to school this morning so dragged her feet the whole way then had a spectacular tantrum at the end of the school drive, so I'm kneeling next to DD doing my best to calm her down and find out what's wrong as she usually loves school when another mum walks back down from dropping her DC off, gives us a funny look, tuts and shakes her head, coz I didn't feel crap enough already!

I get that all the time as my DD has just started and hates school, she cries sometimes to the point of retching and i get eye rolling and tuts from other parents, she is always fine after 10 mins in school, needless to say i avoid these people

Id ignore them ,

Can't stand people who think their shit don't smell . .

It's horrible isn't it Purple? I bet their kids have had just as bad tantrums at some point too, they're just lucky enough that its not when there's an audience!

Yeah of course the do! I don't even let it bother me anymore as they are obviously idiots

Next time they stare/eye roll etc, you say to them, quite loudly 'Take a picture, it'll last longer'. Pointing out someone's rudness/bad behaviour is sometimes necessary

It will happen to her one day too. Her DC will have a strop/be upset and you can be the bigger person and give her a sympathetic look.

There is absolutely no excuse for that rudeness. It is bad enough when a passerby expresses disapproval in a shop or other place open to the general public, but to get that from another parent at your child's school is astonishing. No sympathy, no understanding, no manners.

I wouldn't tut or anything, but I never know what expression to use. Does a little smile and a head tilt look patronising. Would people rather be blanked?

Take a picture, it will last longer

But you see this all the time on here so I doubt people will ever stop judging - "I saw a young toddler being given a sip of Coke from a bottle, aren't their parents awful, isn't this tantamount to child abuse?" (Proper thread the other week)

Yanbu. I asked the couple who were suffocating on their judgy pants if they would like to deal with DS as they must be perfect parents.
They refused and quickly shut up,.

i wish people would roll their eyes and tut at DS' tantrums. for some reason at his nursery it's the done thing for them to stick their big ol' noses in and coax/bribe DS out of the tantrum, immediately making him scream louder and for longer whilst i am trying to ignore him.

YANBU they should take their judgeypants and get to fuck.

Yanbu. I work on a "today it's their kid tomorrow it might be mine" basis.

I just thank my lucky stars that then and there it's not mine.

Are you quite sure it wasn't sympathy?

DS2 could strop for England in his day and I've lost count of the number of times I've had to beat a hasty retreat with him kicking and roaring over my shoulder so when I see someone else having the same trouble I pull a sympathetic face - which could well look like a tut-tut-you-disgrace-to-humanity face if the other person was feeling a bit tense ...

Im with Feckless. Are you sure she wasn't being sympathetic in a kind of "oh why do they do that do us? Sigh" way?

I had this a while back. DD having mother of all melt downs. Friend said "oh I do wish I could help you but neither of mine have ever behaved like that". 1 not helpful 2 Really??

There is also one mother in particular who takes it upon herself to tell my DS off if she feels he is misbehaving. Oh and she has also told me off. I HATE the school run at the moment.

I saw karma in action yesterday. A family of four tutting at DD, who is only 2, having a moment at the airport and me trying to calm her down. They were very lentil weaving and loud-parenting. Guess whose DC were on our flight and both the boys had spectacular meltdowns from halfway through the flight to the end. I felt very sympathetic to the poor boys, who were obviously not enjoying flying. Not so much for the DM, who had bee giving be evils earlier.

Ds cried EVERY morning in year 1 going into his class...he had been fine in Reception. He would cling on to my leg and had to be wrenched off by the ta. By November, I got some right tuts and looks. Probably because I was practically kicking him off me and trying not to cry..
He was fine in year 2. [confused}

He is now 14 and I often remind him.

Is it really possible to tell in one look what another parent is trying to portray?
Fair enough if they are tutting at you, it can be taken as judgemental.
It may have been a sympathetic look that was misconstrued.
My younger two girls both have SEN so have been at the centre of many a tantrum, most looks I get from other parents, I take to be sympathetic. I've never had tutting though.... That must be difficult to deal with.
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

She didn't look sympathetic, she just looked snooty and judgy, it could have been misconstrued but she is generally pretty rude so I doubt it.

MaidOfStars - a little smile/cheerful good morning makes me feel better, or blanking me would be fine then I can tell myself no one has noticed the epic tantrum.

On the plus side, I now know what was up with DD, apparently another reception didn't want to play with her yesterday and DD thought that meant they didn't like her but her lovely year 6 friend 'explained everything and now its better.'

It wasn't me... but I'd have been feeling sorry for you on your knees. It's a bit muddy and wet around my kids' school!

Some people's children don't have tantrums, I think. They really don't know what a meltdown of the sort you describe is like. May karma strike them down with a tantrummy child next time round, lest they judge....

Having said that, I had a championship tantrummer and most people were sympathetic

I try to be specific in that situation. If I think any kind of interaction is appropriate (and usually it isn't) I'll try and say something like "I thought it was just my DD that sounds like that" and smile, something that is unambiguously supportive, not judgy.