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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish people knew more about bipolar disorder...

27 replies

lessonsintightropes · 15/10/2013 22:25

I think this thread got deleted as I was posting a response... but the following is worth sharing which I was typing as the delete happened...

I don't know how much contact some posters have had with people who've had mental health issues in the past. Suffice it to say, most people are probably aware that around 1 in 4 of the adult population will have some mental health issues in their lives.

Bipolar disorder is relatively uncommon (somewhere between 3 and 15 people in 1,000 will have this diagnosis in the UK in their lifetimes). However, it's a disease which is very well understood and usually very well managed by mental health support professionals. The majority of people with a diagnosis will find a medication regimen which works for them, and they are then able to lead happy, healthy lives. The vast majority know what their own triggers and risks are and to safeguard their own mental health and stability don't put themselves at unnecessary risks.

For a teacher to be outed with this diagnosis suggests gossiping which is both ugly and unproductive. He/she will have to disclose their diagnosis to the HT and will almost certainly be on a closer support level than colleagues without a diagnosis would be. Therefore any cycling or lapses into unhealthy behaviour are very likely to be picked up by either the teacher themselves or their manager long before it has any kind of impact on DDs or teaching practice.

It would probably be a good idea, if you find out a teacher has this diagnosis and are scared about the potential impact on your children to find out more about bipolar disorder and how it has very different impacts on different people, most of whom manage it really successfully. Teachers are risk assessed to within an inch of their lives; I think you really don't have much to be concerned about here.

My sources are working in an organisation which supports people in mental health crises and two close relatives with this diagnosis.

Posting about issues like this in AIBU (where I think the average level of understanding of MH/SEN issues is a lot higher than the general public) isn't likely to receive a particularly sympathetic response, but it will be a better informed one. But most posters don't have the time to post all this to those who are worried without reading more about it, here's some Biscuit Biscuit Biscuit Just trying to avoid anyone becoming a vigilante/witch hunt leader...

OP posts:
ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 15/10/2013 22:31

I thinkeveryone has had contact with someone who has MH problems. And probably not known it. Which is kinda the point. Thanks for a kind and thoughtful post, OP.

LimitedEditionLady · 15/10/2013 22:33

Im glad it got deleted,i stopped myself writing a very angry response.My mother has a very similar MH problem and I am sick of people judging when they havent a clue.I wanted to say a well done is what this teacher deserves and i wish them all the best.

Wannabestepfordwife · 15/10/2013 22:33

Yanbu my experience is slightly limited to my bf from college who I miss every day.

She had incredible highs and lows as well as very addictive personality and was in her highs, hyper sexualised but she was never a danger to anybody other than herself unlike the thread you are referring to was trying to suggest.

My dp and most of his family suffer from anxiety/depression and there are undiagnosed MH problems in my family I just hope if dd has a mh problem which seems likely she will not face the stigma there still is

monkeyfacegrace · 15/10/2013 22:35

I think you all get too paniky about this.

Im bipolar. Am i offended by ignorant cunts? Not in the slightest.

Crack on with life. Stop giving a shit about what others think.

BrokenSunglasses · 15/10/2013 22:38

For a teacher to be outed with this diagnosis suggests gossiping which is both ugly and unproductive

I agree with this, but I don't see your problem with this

He/she will have to disclose their diagnosis to the HT and will almost certainly be on a closer support level than colleagues without a diagnosis would be

I don't see a problem with teachers having to disclose this to their Head. I'm a TA and had to disclose past anxiety issues, its not something that affects a job as long as the illness doesn't affect the job.

Procedures are right to be like this when it comes to people who work with vulnerable groups like children.

Original poster
lessonsintightropes · 15/10/2013 22:40

Broken I'm not suggesting either disclosure or support is a bad thing, far from it. A previous poster had heard via the grapevine that a teacher had this diagnosis and wanted to start a witchhunt against the teacher. I am just trying to gently point out that there isn't any risk to her child.

OP posts:
Wannabestepfordwife · 15/10/2013 22:41

monkeyface I love your attitude!

It bothers me because my dp won't seek help as his words "doesn't want people to know what a freak he is"

BrokenSunglasses · 15/10/2013 22:43

Fair enough, I obviously missed another thread, just responding to what you posted.

Sounds like the other thread was horrible and deleted for a good reason.

monkeyfacegrace · 15/10/2013 22:44

Everyone knows what a headfuck i am.

I work with kids too. They love me. I love them. I am totally, totally stable thanks to meds.

Why would i hide that i take tablets?

Anyway, more people to give me wine and choc when i feel shit.

manicinsomniac · 15/10/2013 22:45

Ohhh, what exactly was this thread about? I wish I'd seen it.

I'm a teacher with a bipolar type disorder (actually called cyclothymia but it's similar). Thread could have been about me.

I agree with stepfords dp up to a point though - I get the medical help I require to do my job properly but, beyond that, I don't want my myriad MH issues known and 'helped', I'd rather just get on with life.

MurderOfBanshees · 15/10/2013 22:48

YANBU, I wish people would bother to find out more (accurate) information about all sorts of mental health problems, rather than just jumping to the worst possible conclusions. So many people avoid help because of fear of being misunderstood - sometimes deliberately. And that's desperately sad.

Original poster
lessonsintightropes · 15/10/2013 22:48

mac precisely - this is why I was so shocked and pissed off that a parent had randomly heard gossip about a teacher's diagnosis and worked herself up into a right fret about it. No impact on her or her child and none of her business.

I am aware this is a thread about a thread but thought that the content was reasonably relevant...

OP posts:
MurderOfBanshees · 15/10/2013 22:50

lessons In that particular case it looks like there was no teacher in the first place, let alone one with bipolar. It was goady shite instead.

Original poster
lessonsintightropes · 15/10/2013 22:53

Ahhh murder that makes sense. I'll shut up now Smile glad to know it was an under bridge dweller than a real person!

OP posts:
bealos · 15/10/2013 22:56

I wish I knew more about being bipolar. Where can I get more in if? My ex partner and father of my first child is bipolar. He was only diagnosed after we split up. I find it hard to describe to my son what might be going on for his dad.

MurderOfBanshees · 15/10/2013 22:57

Oh no, don't shut up, your OP is spot on. And while that one was a bridge dweller, that doesn't mean other people don't think like that. :(

Original poster
lessonsintightropes · 15/10/2013 23:05

bealos there are a lot of places to go for help. You can find out some really basic information at: NHS

Then there's some great advice and information at MIND Have a look at Friends and Family Advice pages for more information.

You can talk to your GP who can refer you to a carer's group - whilst not specifically of relevance for your particular situation, if you call your local group leader and explain your circumstances, I'm sure they'd be able to give you sound advice and a good place to get some support if it's something you need, particularly if your ExP isn't getting the help he needs or is having trouble with his treatment/recovery plan.

I'm sure the relationship and health boards on here would be a great source of advice and support too, rather than AIBU which tends to be a bit of a bunfest (talking as a happy bunthrower).

OP posts:
bealos · 15/10/2013 23:08

Thanks lessons

Puff1ns · 15/04/2014 21:23

I realise I'm late to join the thread. There's a blog called teacherwithbipolar.blogspot.co.uk that could be worth a look.

sooperdooper · 15/04/2014 21:27

My mum has bipolar, she was a teacher for 15 years :)

I think it's a shame that people still feel it's something to be 'outed' - it's an illness, lots of people have illnesses that effect their day to day lives but the more knowledge people have about mental health illnesses the more accepted they become in society

smartypants1000 · 15/04/2014 22:24

Bealos try the charity Bipolar UK (formerly the Manic Depression Fellowship).

smartypants1000 · 15/04/2014 22:26

www.bipolaruk.org.uk/

madeuplovesong44 · 15/04/2014 22:48

It seems that bipolar disorder has had a fair amount of media exposure in recent years which has increased awareness of the condition. However i think overall this has been detrimental to the public perception of what the disorder is. I hear the term thrown around to account for reckless behaviour and it hurts as it minimizes the enormity of what the lived experience of this illness can be. When well, many sufferers live a full and happy life and contribute a great deal to society but i think the media representation sadly does not portray this. It does not surprise me that a parent has concerns as in my experience that kind of ignorance is commonplace. It is so unhelpful as sufferers have such a lot to deal with, without ill-founded, unfair judgement.

NurseyWursey · 15/04/2014 23:33

As someone with bi-polar I get really annoyed at people who say things like 'omg I'm so bi-polar always having mood swings' but then when you try and explain it's not like that they get defensive.

When I was in college we did lessons about bi-polar and group discussions and it really hurt me when people was talking about their thoughts regarding bi-polar, some very ignorant people in the world. In the end I had an outburst and said I have bi-polar, do I look crazy or act crazy? You didn't even know!

MammaTJ · 16/04/2014 03:53

I have a friend who has bi-polar.

She is a senior care assisistant in a home for the elderly with dementia and is amazing at her job and an awesome friend.

Those of us who care about her can tell when she is on her way up or down and both are quite scary, but reasonably well controlled.

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